I used to, but I feel more anger than anything now at how broken this world is.
Countless of other people in situations like mine, all of which could've been avoided, but we simply aren't cared for, and often actively "discarded" when trying to improve our lives because we don't fit into the system.
I see how everything is illogical, how everything is broken and runs on a lot of bullshit and fakery. People who can barely do their jobs get hired because of bull on their CV and resume, whereas me, who might even have a passion for what they're doing won't ever get hired or even a chance because or a wrong name or skin color or lack of experience or connections or whatever the fuck.
Even things like how everyone has to go to and from work at the exact same time, causing huge congestion on the roads, whereas instead we could stagger things more to up the flow, as you could travel for 30 mins or wait 1h+ in traffic.
Or all the time waste at work, when you could work less and just be productive vs pretending you work just to clock in those hours etc etc.
I used to feel I was the broken one, and while yes, those thoughts still come up, I feel I've just woken up and see the bullshit for what it is — that the world itself is broken, not me.
