Do you feel isolated?

[Insomniac]

I am extremely isolated even though I live with my husband and a teenage child . I just don't have the mental strength to face the world anymore and I am not interested in human interaction since ppl always end up disappointing me. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up . I started drinking excessively to ease the pain .

were you suicidal prior to giving birth? I'm asking because I have been wondering if suicidal parents usually "discover" suicidality after or before having their child.

 

[rationalis]

me.

I'm a hugely sociable introvert. yeah, I mean that. cuz socializing for me still means being in my own head. I think about what they say/express instead of being distracted by them. it's just getting to know people.

but that feeling when I get out and know that 9 out of 10 people are fucking racist ableists, 9 out of 10 others are gonna insist on misgendering me, and 9 out of 10 in the rest will despise a junkie… okay, I know how to do elementary school maths. 10% cube is 0.1%. now tell me how I "just go out and meet people". I go out and meet fascism.

it's definitely not "all in my head" (to all you normies out there! shit, they're not on SS.) cuz it reflects my experience irl. and the only places I make friends offline are on the streets, in activism groups, and psych wards. safe spaces.

normies even laugh at "safe spaces". they can go fuck themselves.


if you're a bi/straight woman (or body is afab) you better be careful with this… there's enough peeps there who'd just use that connection for sex… that's not addicts behavior. that's "I'm entitled to women's body at any time" behavior.

but maybe you already know that. maybe you're looking for a hook up. who knows.

So the only group it is acceptable to -ism is men.

Are all men bad? Or only straight men? Only white straight men? Only straight white cis men?

 

[Bleunoir]

were you suicidal prior to giving birth? I'm asking because I have been wondering if suicidal parents usually "discover" suicidality after or before having their child.

I was but not to the same extent. But it's kind of circumstantial , the situation at home makes me extremely suicidal. A mentally abusive husband who's a control freak and even managed to turn my daughter against me. Being so lonely despite of having a family . My BPD ( undiagnosed) .

 

[Justsogone]

I'm usually an extrovert. I need people. But when I feel even the slightest instability I lose my ability to talk to people. I just get trapped in my self-made isolation and hate myself more.

Interesting, when you suddenly feel blue you become kind of introvert.

 

[SparkleWater]

i feel isolated even though i know i have friends. tbh i thought getting an irl group of friends would make it go away. it doesnt

even in my family. i dont have many cousins my age on my grandmothers side. i tried talking on christmas eve when we went over to my grandmas house but every time i spoke they all just sat there in silence. I know i didnt say anything weird but jesus christ god fobid i try to join in on a conversation with a bunch of middle aged-to senior people

 

[Justsogone]

I feel isolated. It is partly existential loneliness. Similar to something what DFW said I can express my words and feelings to someone but for the other person they are just words. I feel like trapped in my consciousness and cannot solve my problems. They approach me every day more and more. Feeling desperate.
When I am around people I just feel that most people have a consciousness without all this pain. WIthout worrying and existential problems which confront me 24/7. I have contact with my friends though I really have the strong desire for a partner. Maybe this would alleviate this isolation-state.
Though I am too much of a wreck. Dreaming about having a partner remains a naive dream. This existential isolation with all this pressure made socially awkward. Thinking everyday for hours about suicide does something to a person.

I feel you, It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but just as you said I feel like a lonely person too, even I'm mulling over about suicide and how to solve my problems for my future every single day. This site makes us feel better at least for a while, obviously I hope you feel better.

 

[demuic]

Yes. I don't like most people and can't relate to them, so I can't even seek out connections even if I really wanted to. I have rarely met anyone like me, the only times I have was online, here on SS, or other places where I never reached out to the person.

I am so used to being alone, and have been most of my life, I don't know how to deal with people now. I wouldn't know what to do with friends if I had them.

Most of my isolation was not my choice, growing up, and it still isn't, in the grand scheme of things. That's just my fate.

 

[Justsogone]

I am extremely isolated even though I live with my husband and a teenage child . I just don't have the mental strength to face the world anymore and I am not interested in human interaction since ppl always end up disappointing me. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up . I started drinking excessively to ease the pain .

Sorry for your situation, Could you say me what's ppl?
In my case I cannot find anything to ease the pain, well maybe taking a long nap.

i feel isolated even though i know i have friends. tbh i thought getting an irl group of friends would make it go away. it doesnt

even in my family. i dont have many cousins my age on my grandmothers side. i tried talking on christmas eve when we went over to my grandmas house but every time i spoke they all just sat there in silence. I know i didnt say anything weird but jesus christ god fobid i try to join in on a conversation with a bunch of middle aged-to senior people

There was a time where I had a bunch of "close friends", nevertheless I pushed them away many of them

Yes. I don't like most people and can't relate to them, so I can't even seek out connections even if I really wanted to. I have rarely met anyone like me, the only times I have was online, here on SS, or other places where I never reached out to the person.

I am so used to being alone, and have been most of my life, I don't know how to deal with people now. I wouldn't know what to do with friends if I had them.

Most of my isolation was not my choice, growing up, and it still isn't, in the grand scheme of things. That's just my fate.

I don't know how to deal with people either and how to get closer to people without seems a creepy

Yes. I don't like most people and can't relate to them, so I can't even seek out connections even if I really wanted to. I have rarely met anyone like me, the only times I have was online, here on SS, or other places where I never reached out to the person.

I am so used to being alone, and have been most of my life, I don't know how to deal with people now. I wouldn't know what to do with friends if I had them.

Most of my isolation was not my choice, growing up, and it still isn't, in the grand scheme of things. That's just my fate.

I don't know how to deal with people either and how to get closer to people without seems a creepy. Do you think the way you were raised affected these things?

 

[greyautumnsky]

I was an extreme introvert before the pandemic, but working on connecting with people with the help of a therapist. I'd actually made huge strides with it... had friends, volunteered in the community, did some group social things with classmates from campus and work, volunteered with my Son's school, etc.

Then the pandemic hit and I lost all that work. And then my health. And then my relationship when my husband found out about my health.

I am more alone than I ever was before. The emptiness freezes me to my core, and the call to void gets louder every day. The only only only thing keeping me alive is my Son.

This isolation hurts so bad though. I usually do so well with my own thoughts but they're so... sad.

 

[Justsogone]

Hey,

I was an extreme introvert before the pandemic, but working on connecting with people with the help of a therapist. I'd actually made huge strides with it... had friends, volunteered in the community, did some group social things with classmates from campus and work, volunteered with my Son's school, etc.

Then the pandemic hit and I lost all that work. And then my health. And then my relationship when my husband found out about my health.

I am more alone than I ever was before. The emptiness freezes me to my core, and the call to void gets louder every day. The only only only thing keeping me alive is my Son.

This isolation hurts so bad though. I usually do so well with my own thoughts but they're so... sad.

Hey! I'm so sorry about what you're going through, It has to be complicated. When you were improving your environment connecting with people and having a better social life, Were you feeling better regarding to your mental health?
I hope you feel better.

 

[greyautumnsky]

Hey,

Hey! I'm so sorry about what you're going through, It has to be complicated. When you were improving your environment connecting with people and having a better social life, Were you feeling better regarding to your mental health?
I hope you feel better.

No. But it was a very short time of doing it, after a very long time of isolation due to mental health and physical health before then.

I did mourn the loss of all that progress and the things I was doing... so, I do think my brain was being reprogrammed and repathed to enjoy those things. I would be better, I think, with more consistency. Which the pandemic took away.

So yes and no haha. It's a complicated answer. I needed/need more time doing positive behaviors to rewire my brain if that makes sense.

 

[Justsogone]

No. But it was a very short time of doing it, after a very long time of isolation due to mental health and physical health before then.

I did mourn the loss of all that progress and the things I was doing... so, I do think my brain was being reprogrammed and repathed to enjoy those things. I would be better, I think, with more consistency. Which the pandemic took away.

So yes and no haha. It's a complicated answer. I needed/need more time doing positive behaviors to rewire my brain if that makes sense.

I got it, well when I had a "better life", I vaguely remember feeling down every single day so that it helps you I suppose.

 

[little helpers]

So the only group it is acceptable to -ism is men.

Are all men bad? Or only straight men? Only white straight men? Only straight white cis men?

I'm not tryna fight with anyone here. I make this clear. if you think Imma be talking BS you can avoid it and make yourself feel more peaceful. but in the very least I promise I make *no attacks* below, if you wanna read it.

I saw you react to my comments several times and I think you're likely an understanding person. I mean it. most people irl motherfucking hate my very existence and if you don't it means you took the time to understand. so here's the deal.

the way I put it, I used a quote, a sentence, to describe that mentality. the indoctrination, if you will. I didn't specify who that is. a lot of men have either never acquired or have painfully un-learned that mentality. that's great. cuz now they can hurt others a little less, not practise patriarchy (let's be honest, most gay *men* are hurt by this), and likely enjoy sex a lil bit better cuz it can be one of human connection instead of domination. you don't get to know someone, know them personally, if all you care is being on top of the power dynamics. now wouldn't you have better sex if you know and enjoy (I'm not necessarily saying love) this person?

so I was strictly talking about patriarchy. it's not unique to men and men doesn't automatically fall under this mentality. but keep in mind that most men/boys benefit from patriarchy, get higher pay, get seen as "smarter" or "more credible" than women/girls, don't get r*ped all that much, etc etc. so makes no sense that they didn't like patriarchy at least at one point. but it comes *at the cost* of them not getting to know a lot of women (and queer and trans people) as worthy, interesting, human beings. it's the same thing where way too many Whites get awkward around Blacks, even when they have wanted to get to know this person.

that's the emotional cost of patriarchy/racism paid, to afford socioeconomic and political privileges. of course it is nothing compared to what the subordinated groups go through - all cost, no gain. but you still have that cost with you there.

so I mean, I'm neither making generalizations *nor* saying it's inherent. but we'd *have to* acknowledge the fact that quite a bit of men are *currently*, actively patriarchal because they have much to get out of it. facts are there whether or not you like it. and everyone can and do change. people can stop hurting others even when they have in the past. it's alright. as long as they make redress.