Discussion Do you ever suspect people look down on you?

[whatevs]

Background. I'm an adult virgin and a conspiracy realist with outrageous opinions (which include being pro-choice). I also have some efilist and antinatalist opinions. I'm bitter and somewhat hateful (think of the doomer meme), but on a surface level I look composed and poised or can even be humorous. I sense a wall between me and most people, and sometimes I get to see how they really feel about it.

Yesterday my sister's boyfriend came over for my brother's birthday. We have gone to do surfing and trekking together (he freaked out with my views on the modern world a la Unabomber lol) plus we are doing a mobile app since a year ago (delays). He normally looks comfortable with me, as in, he 'enjoys my company', or so I thought.

I know my sister has pushed him to do things with me since my chronic illness took my friends from me many years ago but still, it didn't look forced. But yesterday when he arrived he just seemed more vivacious talking to my brother, or my father, than with me. Granted, I was depressed that day and probably didn't look very inviting, but I don't know, I get this social paranoia sometimes and I think there are reasons for it. I think the stuff I talk and think about is disturbing to people and that my bitterness seeps out of me even if I try to look neutral. And that normal people get subtly creeped out by me, or at least they feel a distance.

I'm not just playing the victim here, I'm narcissistic and as a result experience more contempt than usual for people, which definitely provides that 'distance feel'. Normies are good picking up these subtle emotional signals. But overall I like that guy, and it's sad to feel he might not be inclined to talk to me.

 

[Bigpink]

If they look at me at all, probably

 

[lofticries]

That's my default mode when it comes to meeting new ppl in general.

 

[Dot]

Background. I'm an adult virgin and a conspiracy realist with outrageous opinions (which include being pro-choice). I also have some efilist and antinatalist opinions. I'm bitter and somewhat hateful (think of the doomer meme), but on a surface level I look composed and poised or can even be humorous. I sense a wall between me and most people, and sometimes I get to see how they really feel about it.

Yesterday my sister's boyfriend came over for my brother's birthday. We have gone to do surfing and trekking together (he freaked out with my views on the modern world a la Unabomber lol) plus we are doing a mobile app since a year ago (delays). He normally looks comfortable with me, as in, he 'enjoys my company', or so I thought.

I know my sister has pushed him to do things with me since my chronic illness took my friends from me many years ago but still, it didn't look forced. But yesterday when he arrived he just seemed more vivacious talking to my brother, or my father, than with me. Granted, I was depressed that day and probably didn't look very inviting, but I don't know, I get this social paranoia sometimes and I think there are reasons for it. I think the stuff I talk and think about is disturbing to people and that my bitterness seeps out of me even if I try to look neutral. And that normal people get subtly creeped out by me, or at least they feel a distance.

I'm not just playing the victim here, I'm narcissistic and as a result experience more contempt than usual for people, which definitely provides that 'distance feel'. Normies are good picking up these subtle emotional signals. But overall I like that guy, and it's sad to feel he might not be inclined to talk to me.

Hnstly slf fl lke if if u shw hm tht slf awreness thn tht mght brk th/ wll den btwn 2 bth - 'am awre th/ sme of slf belfs mght lk xtrme or Cm shckng e.t.c bt slf stll Njy ur cmpny & Njy hangng out'

= whn thre r thngs tht r unspok tht awkwrdnss cn happn i.m.o

 

[Oblivion Access]

One often need not suspect when derision or pity are made blatant or are poorly concealed.

 

[whatevs]

One often need not suspect when derision or pity are made blatant or are poorly concealed.

Yeah but didn't seem that way here. I guess it's a mixed bag situation.

 

[savoytruffle]

almost always,

 

[Idontmatter]

Pretty much always

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Creeped out as well

 

[whatevs]

Creeped out as well

I creeped you out? Not sure what you mean.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I creeped you out? Not sure what you mean.

They look down on me and are sometimes creeped out.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is best to not care about other peoples opinions, what others think does not matter to me. All life is so temporary and meaningless after all.

 

[sandalphon]

Not at all. I am well educated, successful, and generally liked by others despite being a bit of an intovert.
In any case, I don't give a shit if someone "looks down" on me lol.

 

[whatevs]

Not at all. I am well educated, successful, and generally liked by others despite being a bit of an intovert.
In any case, I don't give a shit if someone "looks down" on me lol.

That's great. I can't relate at all.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes, and that they see me as some background or comedy relief character in a show. I am just not important to anyone except maybe my family.

 

[whatevs]

It is best to not care about other peoples opinions, what others think does not matter to me. All life is so temporary and meaningless after all.

Even if I was a complete nihilist I would still have social anxiety, they are unrelated. It's probably related with something that happened to me in my childhood, perhaps the sexual abuse I endured, who knows what it is. This illness operates from the subconscious. Regardless of how convenient or inconvenient, logical or illogical social anxiety exists. Of course that the most logical thing to do would be to not care excessively about how other people see you.

Your bleak view of the world is probably a similar thing, something rotten in your subconscious.

 

[ikadasui]

If I look down on myself why wouldn't others? It's incredibly easy to tell when people only are polite out of social obligation, but in reality can't stand you.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Of course people look down on me. They been looking down on me since high school. However I was way more functional and productive despite my looks disadvantage. I also had people around and was more sociable although they exploited my skin condition in which I allowed them to because I didn't want to be lonely. Now they look down on me because I told them about my traumas and I been laying around and all I do is work.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

everyone looks down on me since in a loser with no job . no skills, useless, no gf....... i depend on my father, he was upset and ashamed at first now hes accepted it i think (me being a loser in life no job no skills)

 

[Foresight]

Does your narcissism impact you negatively or is it just an awareness that brought you to that diagnosis? I have avoidant which is like polar opposite so it makes me wonder.

I'm completely disconnected from others. I know they look down on me but I'm not tuned into their mode of existence anymore. I don't care about their ranks but I'm not keen on being attacked so I prefer to stay away. I tried to work around social phobia for so long that I honestly just prefer life with limited socializing instead constantly doing that internal work.

 

[whatevs]

Does your narcissism impact you negatively or is it just an awareness that brought you to that diagnosis? I have avoidant which is like polar opposite so it makes me wonder.

I'm completely disconnected from others. I know they look down on me but I'm not tuned into their mode of existence anymore. I don't care about their ranks but I'm not keen on being attacked so I prefer to stay away. I tried to work around social phobia for so long that I honestly just prefer life with limited socializing instead constantly doing that internal work.

I identify some with vulnerable narcissism but I dunno if actively escaping from neighbours and acquaitances when I am outside counts as some percentage of AvPD.
One shrink did diagnose the narcissism, for the rest I was just autistic.

The way I feel contempt for people and culture is clearly narcissistic in nature. Misanthropic, snobbish, etc. Obviously it´s some kind of defense mechanism but still, it has affected me negatively yes. I mean, even if it´s true that some of my tastes are more sophisticated the way I deal with people that are different from me isn´t at all conciliatory and tolerant. I see healthier people using humour or just ignoring what they don´t like instead of visibly hating on it, which people don´t like for obvious reasons.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't suspect, I know. Everyone looks down on someone, it's the nature of the beast. For example—while no one seems to know for sure—I think I was born as one of the very last Boomers. Even here I've seen the occasional ignorant twat blather on about Boomers in derogatory fashion. What's interesting is if the same sorts of things were said about Trans or Gay folks—there'd be a ban.

Do I care? Not really. People like that are just demonstrating how stupid and ignorant they are. Then you ignore them. What's hard is resisting the temptation to return in kind, I'm not so good at that…

 

[Weebster]

I think everyone is looked down on by someone. The key is to not care because everyone's crafted facade is flimsy and an illusion.

 

[whatevs]

I don't suspect, I know. Everyone looks down on someone, it's the nature of the beast. For example—while no one seems to know for sure—I think I was born as one of the very last Boomers. Even here I've seen the occasional ignorant twat blather on about Boomers in derogatory fashion. What's interesting is if the same sorts of things were said about Trans or Gay folks—there'd be a ban.

Do I care? Not really. People like that are just demonstrating how stupid and ignorant they are. Then you ignore them. What's hard is resisting the temptation to return in kind, I'm not so good at that…

Yeah yeah, ok boomer

 

[Oblivion Access]

Does your narcissism impact you negatively or is it just an awareness that brought you to that diagnosis? I have avoidant which is like polar opposite so it makes me wonder.

I'm completely disconnected from others. I know they look down on me but I'm not tuned into their mode of existence anymore. I don't care about their ranks but I'm not keen on being attacked so I prefer to stay away. I tried to work around social phobia for so long that I honestly just prefer life with limited socializing instead constantly doing that internal work.

As little stock as I put into the concept of personality disorders, the clusters of symptoms described are definitely real. I think narcissism as it's usually imagined (grandiose, extroverted, highly social) would be the polar opposite, but that kind of person is less likely to end up on SS, as mentioned vulnerable narcissism is more likely. I'd consider myself quite an avoidant person and I've definitely shown traits associated w/ vulnerable narcissism, it seems to me that the two go together quite well, what with anxiety and excessive rumination on one's perceived inferiority. I definitely know what you mean on the last bit, being left the hell alone by most people is just easier to live with.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

All the time.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I identify some with vulnerable narcissism but I dunno if actively escaping from neighbours and acquaitances when I am outside counts as some percentage of AvPD.
One shrink did diagnose the narcissism, for the rest I was just autistic.

The way I feel contempt for people and culture is clearly narcissistic in nature. Misanthropic, snobbish, etc. Obviously it´s some kind of defense mechanism but still, it has affected me negatively yes. I mean, even if it´s true that some of my tastes are more sophisticated the way I deal with people that are different from me isn´t at all conciliatory and tolerant. I see healthier people using humour or just ignoring what they don´t like instead of visibly hating on it, which people don´t like for obvious reasons.

I used to feel that strong nihilistic contempt, until I found a way to 'join in' (making music), then I desired not to feel that contempt any more, because I wanted life, society and culture to feel more meaningful, so that making music felt more meaningful - the nihilistic contempt was always there lurking, and I had to find ways to stop the hostility arising, so that I could 'join in' and play a part in society, be an important artistic cog in the machine, as I viewed myself - but then came the pain, and the music died, and there was no reason to deny the nihilistic hostility and contempt any longer - but I had myself pretty well-trained there for a while - it's hard to just hate everything and everyone again, and not care - I find myself caring when I wish I just didn't, like before, when I was 17, and nothing meant anything, and it was all bullshit - those were the years!

 

[AloneInCollege]

I don't suspect it, it's obvious. When people look at me (which is rare), all I see in their face is disgust and pity.

 

[Messgram]

I'm sure most of people around have utter negative views about me, I just don't care anymore, because nothing matters

 

[710]

I don't get the impression people look down on me because I don't think they notice me at all. When I walk into a crowded room, it almost feels like I'm invisible. And because of my social anxiety, I'm unable to initiate contact.