do you ever feel guilty for using this site

[hi-okbye]

i don't think i feel guilty being here. if anything i'm sad that it came to this point where i feel like i need to ctb.

also i completly understand how you feel and i'm sorry your going through that too.
many hugs <33

 

[numbed one]

No but i'm afraid it'll just make me more suicidal

 

[Abyssal]

In your application you said you're in a very bad time right now.
Coming here out of curiosity is not what this place is for.
You joined under false pretences, which is enough to ban you.

If you " struggle a bit with depression" you should have gone to a professional first maybe.

Sorry to play devil's advocate, but one can be both curious and in a bad place, they never stated one was a lie. I don't doubt you experienced some reason bullshit after that video went out from young people, but you are let to your negative experience get ahead of you, here. I think many of us know from experience that going to a professional isn't exactly viable for the average person these days, either.

You are entitled to you opinion and your experience is certainly real, but threatening to ban someone is…saddening. They probably want somewhere to express their troubles and who can blame them, sasu is a safe place where you won't get judged or locked up for suicidal ideation.

i made an account here awhile ago completely out of curiosity. i struggled a bit with depression but never meant to use this for it's most common purpose. now im in a much worse state and think about suicide a lot. it scares me knowing that things have gotten so bad that i find myself coming on here more than i thought i would. i guess i also feel guilty in a way. like wow you really want to look at the depressing stuff people post on here? i should be working towards being happier, not making myself feel worse. depression is terrifying and i just wish i wasn't compelled to come on here.

I think I understand where you are coming from and I have experienced it before. When people tell you to leave the site, I can't help but agree. On this site, when people take their lives it is hard not to grieve for people like us who feel sensitive to the words of others. Pro-life outlooks have shaped a large portion of our lives, I can tell by the way you talk you are similar to younger me. However, I'd imagine that just like me, you are pro-choice thanks to your own experiences with depression. I'd leave here sooner rather than later, you'll end up just hurting yourself and your guilt will further increase. I have reached that point in my life when I have outlined why I wish I was dead and have become willing to go through with it, and with that my guilt on having these thoughts has disappeared. Weaponize your guilt into recovery wherever possible. If not, then I suppose I'll be seeing you around. My pms are always open if you'd like to talk and the recovery section is open for if you ever change your mind.

 

[lament.]

I do feel somewhat guilty in the fact that using this site is something I have to hide and how I am on it literally everyday at this point but can never talk about it with anyone, but as a whole I think that's overshadowed by how this site has positivity impacted my mental health. I was going to try CTB in an extremely painful way that had a super low success rate, but reading up about it on this site stopped me from doing that because it would likely have just left me with a terrible liver and I would have just been significantly more depressed if that happened. Am I still depressed? Yeah, but at least I'm not depressed and in more pain. (Sorry for the tangent-ish nature of this comment, but I felt it was worth saying.)

In your application you said you're in a very bad time right now.
Coming here out of curiosity is not what this place is for.
You joined under false pretences, which is enough to ban you.

If you " struggle a bit with depression" you should have gone to a professional first maybe.

I feel like this was kinda unnecessary, it might not be the case for this person but I know there are some people who try to convince themselves that they used to be in a better place mentally, when in reality they weren't as an attempt to give themselves hope that they can get back on track. Putting peoples join reasons out there like this without their consent is in bad taste imo. As a somewhat similar example, in my join reason I mentioned I was contemplating self harm and if I was having a day where I was 10/10 depressed, that's not really something I want to remember in that moment.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I do feel somewhat guilty in the fact that using this site is something I have to hide and how I am on it literally everyday at this point but can never talk about it with anyone, but as a whole I think that's overshadowed by how this site has positivity impacted my mental health. I was going to try CTB in an extremely painful way that had a super low success rate, but reading up about it on this site stopped me from doing that because it would likely have just left me with a terrible liver and I would have just been significantly more depressed if that happened. Am I still depressed? Yeah, but at least I'm not depressed and in more pain. (Sorry for the tangent-ish nature of this comment, but I felt it was worth saying.)



I feel like this was kinda unnecessary, it might not be the case for this person but I know there are some people who try to convince themselves that they used to be in a better place mentally, when in reality they weren't as an attempt to give themselves hope that they can get back on track. Putting peoples join reasons out there like this without their consent is in bad taste imo. As a somewhat similar example, in my join reason I mentioned I was contemplating self harm and if I was having a day where I was 10/10 depressed, that's not really something I want to remember in that moment.

If you read my last post too I explained why I was concerned

 

[betternever2havbeen]

i made an account here awhile ago completely out of curiosity. i struggled a bit with depression but never meant to use this for it's most common purpose. now im in a much worse state and think about suicide a lot. it scares me knowing that things have gotten so bad that i find myself coming on here more than i thought i would. i guess i also feel guilty in a way. like wow you really want to look at the depressing stuff people post on here? i should be working towards being happier, not making myself feel worse. depression is terrifying and i just wish i wasn't compelled to come on here.

You're in a much worse state just from being on the site? Yeah I can see why that's kinda a red flag for the mods. If that's the effect it's having you really should check out the recovery section instead or think about leaving the site altogether. This site is a huge support for many people but it's not for everyone and no one wants it to be having a detrimental effect on you. I'm not an expert but I think to get to the point of thinking about suicide a lot, this is much more than mild depression which it sounds like you had before, either way it's pretty concerning. I really hope things improve for you.

 

[Kit1]

No but i'm afraid it'll just make me more suicidal

If being on the site is a possible reason for increased suicidal ideation, it might be a good idea to stay away from this forum - or perhaps just use the Recovery section?

Self care is of utmost I.portance to all human beings and when we are vulnerable, we are less likely to look after ourselves and treat ourselves well. Sometimes it is just being mindful of that.

Take care

 

[lament.]

If you read my last post too I explained why I was concerned

I understand that concern 100%, but it didn't need to be something made public imo.

Edit: To clarify I mean their actual reason for joining, not your concern being public. You can be concerned for whoever you like ofcourse xd.

 

[Kit1]

I do not feel guilty for being on this site for the following reasons:

1. I am not hurting anyone by being here.
2. I am autistic, have cPTSD and a number of other conditions. I mask a lot in my interactions with the world and this is difficult when suicidal ideation (and attempts) are a daily part of my life.
3. I am privileged to have a job where I serve people who are vulnerable - a job that I love, which is stressful, but can be meaningful. The reality of my life is that I can never be myself and have space for myself (apart from a weekly therapy session which is due to end in a few weeks and cannot afford private therapy) which heightens suicide risk. On this site, I can be myself without hopefully hurting anyone else and I stay anonymous.
4. I find that in this shared safe space, people have a good understanding or willing to try without judgement and I appreciate that.
5. Like many people here, I have been let down by our medical system and systems that are supposed to be there tonlook after us, care for us and safeguard us. When I initially joined here, I was almost sure that I might not survive for too long as I had stopped using a supportive medical service due to accessibility challenges following some changes they had introduced. Essentially this forum replaced NHS medical care for me - desperately sad, but that is life. Since joining, I have felt heard without the challenges of accessibility, the threat of being sectioned hanging over me if I shared feelings of suicidal ideation etc.

However this forum is not for everyone. If it is hurting you or making you feel worse, then it is the wrong place to be. Despite our vulnerabilities or due to our heightened vulnerabilities, it is mindful to look at our self care.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I came on this site to connect with people and simultaneously create a plan. By now I've already created a plan and 2 solid backups though. I am working on it and making good progress but it will take time and preparation - in the worst case scenario I could get delayed by 3-12 months.

Now I just log on when I feel terrible to talk. I can't see how there is anything to feel guilty about just wanting to connect with someone in the same situation, even if you are not "actively suicidal". A lot of people criticize the people who have stuck around for a while here in the news, or from other forums. I personally have been slowly preparing for months and will continue, slowly but steadily. It wouldn't make sense to ever say someone like me was "actively suicidal" after I died, unless that "actively suicidal" label spanned years, but I still use the site. Other people find emotional support amongst others who also feel like there is no point, far away from a judgemental and misunderstanding society. Who is anyone to tell those people that that isn't valid.

If someone truly didn't feel suicidal at all though, or realized that the only reason they felt suicidal was this site itself, respectfully, I would encourage them to ditch us and find new friends lol. If you aren't feeling suicidal, there are plenty of spaces on the internet for you where you can vent and find likeminded people with similar struggles. It will be better for your mental health in the long run. <3

 

[zeek]

idk i feel a likkle cringe for using it, as im only really here for the methods, but its pretty addicting

 

[girlwitharose]

i don't feel guilty whatsoever. it makes me feel a little better knowing i'm not the only one feeling the way i do . but , get off this site if it's worsening your mental health. there's always someone out there to help you

 

[Forever Sleep]

No, I don't feel guilty but I suspect I experience ideation differently to you. I've had these thoughts for 33 years- so, they feel a part of me. They don't feel intrusive or worrying. I'm also comfortable with the idea of me commiting suicide under the right circumstances- when the last remaining person I believe it would really have an affect on is gone.

I get the impression these thoughts trouble you and you are afraid of acting on them. Which seems to suggest you do feel some commitment still to life. In which case- maybe you should check out the 'recovery' section more- which still has suicidal members but they are trying to lean more towards living and working out ways to do it.

Some people join here to realise that they do still have hope and that it's not good for them to be around so much negativity. I think everyone needs to take responsibility for their own mental health and assess how outside influences affect it. If this place feels like somewhere you shouldn't be- hence the guilt- probably best to listen to that.

 

[FuneralCry]

No. I'm only on here in the first place as I hate existing and prefer the sound of eternally ceasing to exist, I don't want anything to do with pro-lifers. I believe people come on here as this is the one place where suicide is supported as an option and where people can discuss suicide openly in what is otherwise such an anti-suicide society. I only want to read and post about hating life and wanting to die as it's all that makes sense and feels right to me.

 

[numbed one]

If being on the site is a possible reason for increased suicidal ideation, it might be a good idea to stay away from this forum - or perhaps just use the Recovery section?

Self care is of utmost I.portance to all human beings and when we are vulnerable, we are less likely to look after ourselves and treat ourselves well. Sometimes it is just being mindful of that.

Take care

Yep sure i need to check and surf only on recovery session w thanks you .

 

[Worndown]

Never feel guilty about finding knowledge. People here also learn how to better cope and even survive.
Everyone is different with different issues. You take away what you need.

 

[Death is my goal]

not at all, i don't think guilty is the right word

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No, not at all. Why should I feel guilty for using a certain website and being part of a really supportive and understanding community?

 

[Hotsackage]

We all are just unfortunate people with unfortunate circumstances. So no

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No I do not feel guilty for using this forum. Any negative thoughts that I ever have, including ones which involve the feeling of guilt, are always caused or related to outside (real world) sources, and this forum helps me to unload them. I would likely feel more guilty if I did not have a forum such as Sanctioned Suicide to use, because I would have no one, or no where, to process what I am experiencing; I would have no other choice but to suppress my suicidal thoughts inside of my mind.

 

[unsaiddes]

I do, purely because there are people in my life who would be devastated to learn how I think of myself and the world. In using this site and planning my CTB, I know I'm lying to my partner and family and friends who think I want a future. There's nowhere else to go, though. Not for me.

 

[tunnelV]

No guilt, people have free choice and personal reasons. Only is suicide seen as bad in the mainstream. Some people will never understand. I think only happy people are the ones who say Sue is bad.

 

[Desp]

I do not feel guilty for using this site. But I do not think I can tell anyone that I use this site.

 

[R_N]

Not much but I felt less guilty when I thought I was just here to research a method and do it. Which happened when I first visited.

Suicide is on my mind every day still but I am not attempting. I liked this place because it felt welcoming to everyone to express what they can't say loudly. Unfortunately even here I still see double standards and people treated differently sometimes. People forming cliques. Human nature I guess, can't be escaped anywhere and not in ourselves either. Not completely.

Guilt is not the reason I am here less but seeing similar divide I saw everywhere else might be.

 

[F@#$]

You can't say that to a moderator, what if she bans you

Why not? It's true isn't it?

 

[Abyssal]

You can't say that to a moderator, what if she bans you

Not if I ban me first

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

No I am glad it exists.

 

[this_is_it]

i made an account here awhile ago completely out of curiosity. i struggled a bit with depression but never meant to use this for it's most common purpose. now im in a much worse state and think about suicide a lot. it scares me knowing that things have gotten so bad that i find myself coming on here more than i thought i would. i guess i also feel guilty in a way. like wow you really want to look at the depressing stuff people post on here? i should be working towards being happier, not making myself feel worse. depression is terrifying and i just wish i wasn't compelled to come on here.

I just realized today I've had an account here since September... I still haven't told my boyfriend, and I usually tell him everything. So I feel pretty guilty. At the same time I want him to find out so he knows how bad I'm getting. I'm constantly torn between wanting to recover and wanting to give up.

 

[fiasco]

i made an account here awhile ago completely out of curiosity. i struggled a bit with depression but never meant to use this for it's most common purpose. now im in a much worse state and think about suicide a lot. it scares me knowing that things have gotten so bad that i find myself coming on here more than i thought i would. i guess i also feel guilty in a way. like wow you really want to look at the depressing stuff people post on here? i should be working towards being happier, not making myself feel worse. depression is terrifying and i just wish i wasn't compelled to come on here.

kind of

 

[dangero]

This site is my destiny. I would have to lose my memory, and along with my memory, someone would have to delete my browser history.

We do not realise most of our thoughts . We often do something without understanding it. We are observers of what the unconscious part of the brain is doing.