Discussion Do you ever fantasize about CTB?

[CrazyDiamond04]

I find myself fantasizing about it a lot recently. Mostly in regards to people finding me or my funeral. I also fantasize about doing it in an extremely violent fashion like a shotgun or something. It's weird. It feels wrong to think like this but it also feels good in a weird way, I don't know. I think about it a lot. I guess it's a natural thing to wonder about when you're in this situation.

 

[Death is my goal]

who doesn't

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

who doesn't

Yeah, I guess it's kind of a dumb question to ask.

 

[iwanttoleave2000]

I fantasize about leaving but I try not to think about people finding me, as that is the aspect of it that I do not want to confront.

 

[Passersby]

Of course I do. I think it's completely normal to fantasize about ctb because we want relief and to be gone. It's a rational response to the messed up world we live in. If something is broken, I want to fix it or throw it away. Lots of things can't be fixed too but any reason is really valid since the individual was never able to choose for themselves before coming here the least we can do is choose how and when to die.

 

[Aloneisbestforme]

Not all the time but most of the time I do.

The idea of leaving and hopefully having forever peace is a very nice thought to have. it's a escape from the pain the world offers.
and sometimes it's what helps me sleep.

It is not weird at all

 

[Grimscribe]

Sometimes, yes.
I used to fantasize about having cancer when I was younger because, in my mind, it would be a lot more dramatic for other people and less painful for my mother.
Nowadays, I only think about immediate reactions to a possible CTB, and the only thing really stopping me is my mother, I wouldn't want to hurt her.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I do, to permanently be free from this existence is all I've ever truly wished for after all and suicide is the one escape from all suffering and harm in an existence I never wished to be burdened with in the first place. I'm always wishing that methods as peaceful as Nembutal were accessible and I imagine the relief it would bring me if I had the option to just fall asleep eternally where this existence will finally be forgotten about and won't even be a distant memory.

 

[アホペンギン]

I always fantasize about it, whenever I see a building (a tall one, that is) I always imagine myself jumping off of it. Or I think about shooting myself, ingesting sn or N, hanging myself, etc.

 

[Borderline]

I fantasize about killing myself every day and night.

 

[XenoPyo]

All the time. I fantasize a partner ctb both of us using CO method, inebriated, and playing some Zelda waiting for ctb