Every night I cry when I'm alone. It sucks, because even though I know there's people around me who will listen, I don't want to put that kind of burden on them. So, I cry alone.
It's kinda crazy how everything's worked out. I used to be such an expressive person when it came to my emotions, during times that I was upset. I've got into a habit that while I hear someone approaching close by, I wipe my tears so they don't know that I've been crying. I don't even realize it, because it's so consistent. I'm a tired person and can sleep the day away, but sometimes these tears keep me up late night to early mornings.
I'm trying to find people that I can call during these nights and talk to. I've called the hotline and while sometimes the responders can be pretty quiet, I still recommend it. It does enough to make it through another night, even if it's still hard to sleep at night. I try to reach out. Someone once told me that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I wouldn't go as far as it being something temporary, but I feel like I can only keep this thought at the back of my mind because I'm an impulsive thinker.