Do you engage in denial about your mental health issues, etc thinking they won't last forever and that the life you want is possible?

[Ambivalent1]

I'm realizing that I do this. I have to accept that my problems can be made better to a point, but I've already tried those things and it didn't work. Trying them again won't make much difference. The life I want is outside my reach and it will only continue to decline.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

The road to recovery is a lot of illusion or just changing your goals to something more realistic. I don't believe in the BS of "you can do anything you want if you work hard enough" Life doesn't work that way it's like a bunch of wolves trying to become the alpha they are gonna do everything to become winner whether they have to play dirty or not. I personally believe that my life could be better but that's mostly because all I want is to live in peace being able to do my own things.

 

[Ambivalent1]

The road to recovery is a lot of illusion or just changing your goals to something more realistic. I don't believe in the BS of "you can do anything you want if you work hard enough" Life doesn't work that way it's like a bunch of wolves trying to become the alpha they are gonna do everything to become winner whether they have to play dirty or not. I personally believe that my life could be better but that's mostly because all I want is to live in peace being able to do my own things.

Yeah my goals would have to be lowered a lot and the life I "win" after improving is still not good enough.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

I used to, but at this point, I wouldn't even want to live without my mental issues because of my regret and self hatred over the years of of pain I've already experienced.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

Yeah my goals would have to be lowered a lot and the life I "win" after improving is still not good enough.

Honestly, when you are depressed you are not able to see the light at the top of the abyss. You'll keep thinking your life will never be okay and everything will suck, it's possible that will be the case but in my opinion, if you don't try and give it a chance then I would say that CTB would be very selfish to your peers. Off course I don't really know what is going on in your life but trying at least once isn't really gonna hurt and might actually get you out of the abyss of depression.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

no

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Not anymore. Pretty used to suffering right now. I know both my mental health and my life are fucked up

 

[sammiechzxv]

I used to but not so much anymore

 

[Ambivalent1]

Honestly, when you are depressed you are not able to see the light at the top of the abyss. You'll keep thinking your life will never be okay and everything will suck, it's possible that will be the case but in my opinion, if you don't try and give it a chance then I would say that CTB would be very selfish to your peers. Off course I don't really know what is going on in your life but trying at least once isn't really gonna hurt and might actually get you out of the abyss of depression.

Depression? Lol I have much more serious problems than that.

 

[Whatshouldmynamebe]

I'm realizing that I do this. I have to accept that my problems can be made better to a point, but I've already tried those things and it didn't work. Trying them again won't make much difference. The life I want is outside my reach and it will only continue to decline.

I legitimately couldn't relate more. I couldn't have said it better myself

Depression? Lol I have much more serious problems than that.

Depression is the side affect of the other problems, which atleast in my case just can't change to a reasonable degree

 

[Dead Already]

In my 20s yes, now in my 50s, no the truth is pretty clear, we either can or can't help ourselves, the world revolves around money, even with lots of it you can't buy a new essence, there is no pill that will make it better permanently, even if there was, it would cost more than we could make or the HMO would deny it, there is no profit in the whole population of the planet being healthy.

 

[jbear824]

I don't have the luxury of denial. I know the life I want is forever out of reach. And not even through any fault of my own. It's clear my purpose in life is to suffer more and more until I lose all the inhibitions keeping me from ctb, or my body just stops working.

 

[Ambivalent1]

In my 20s yes, now in my 50s, no the truth is pretty clear, we either can or can't help ourselves, the world revolves around money, even with lots of it you can't buy a new essence, there is no pill that will make it better permanently, even if there was, it would cost more than we could make or the HMO would deny it, there is no profit in the whole population of the planet being healthy.

What age do you think a person would know or not if they can fix their essence?

 

[Dead Already]

What age do you think a person would know or not if they can fix their essence?

I do not have an honest answer for that question, my opinion, I think it would be different for everyone depending on what was stealing their essence from them, they would have to see the thief coming and have the experience, wisdom and will to squash it before it was broken beyond repair.
I only know for sure that I didn't catch it in time.

 

[prezmyl]

it took way too long for me to find something that might actually help and failed with accepting that maybe with someone close to me I would have had better chance in getting it many years sooner and had the resources and support needed to have a real chance (Or maybe this is part of that delusion as well). Rarely I used to spot a flash of that hope that one day I will get through it, but now I cant even force it and my declining life proves more and more clearly otherwise that even with my racing mind I cannot miss it. I probably really lost my chances for a life many years ago (might be a delusion too), now I am trapped in the old body, ruined mind and soul, extreme loneliness, self-disgust and no energy or willingness left and I am experiencing this phase of loosing inhibitions and part of me is scared that I might actually do it, but the other part feels like it is really that time to do it and put an end also to these delusions that my life is probably filled with, but I cannot even realize it.

 

[Nlis2244]

I think I still have a sliver of hope that things will get better. I can't wait to have it destroyed so I'll be completely free, and that should happen in the next few months. But even if by miracle i get better, I have little doubt that I will still ctb in the next few years, I really don't want to get old.

 

[starlover]

No my mental health issues are set forever (bipolar). No hope for change on that end. I mostly just hope the meds, not using drugs, and other lifestyle choices will minimize the episodes.

 

[ctvunny]

I do a lot starting from last year, its just that these days I could think clearer now and it wasnt worth the denial. I will never get there.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I used to, but lately, I have accepted that there is no real solution to (the root causes of) mine.

 

[Kerrtu]

I was told this would be a survey…

(kidding - though I do enjoy your surveys )

No denial here - one of the hardest exercises in therapy is the one when I'm supposed to imagine myself as a child, what would I say to me?

Ugh - Can't do it. I legit cover my face and breakdown. I had a bit of a breakthrough today when the therapist suggested I may be in the freeze mode of fight or flight. I somehow overlooked there even being a freeze mode, though it makes a lot of sense to me now.

 

[olearius]

I don't now. And I'm not sure what age I stopped being in denial (young).

I experienced a traumatic birth. Traumatic separation from my biological parents. Abusive foster care. Abusive adoption.

The physical/emotional abuse and neglect I experienced after being adopted was deeply messed up. And it all stemmed from my adoptive parents hating me for being "weird" and "odd". They hated me for my intrinsic identity. And they did these horrid things to me in the most important years of development. They broke me before my brain could even grow.

I never stood a chance and I think I've known for a long time I would get to the end - where I have genuinely done everything possible. I've exhausted all the treatments.

I hate to be fatalistic but just statistically the odds were never in my favor and it's a miracle I turned out the way I did.

Anyways, I think denial is okay. I'm sure someone smarter than I could argue denial looks the same as hope.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I was told this would be a survey…

(kidding - though I do enjoy your surveys )

No denial here - one of the hardest exercises in therapy is the one when I'm supposed to imagine myself as a child, what would I say to me?

Ugh - Can't do it. I legit cover my face and breakdown. I had a bit of a breakthrough today when the therapist suggested I may be in the freeze mode of fight or flight. I somehow overlooked there even being a freeze mode, though it makes a lot of sense to me now.

I would say to little me that he needs to ctb at 18.

I don't now. And I'm not sure what age I stopped being in denial (young).

I experienced a traumatic birth. Traumatic separation from my biological parents. Abusive foster care. Abusive adoption.

The physical/emotional abuse and neglect I experienced after being adopted was deeply messed up. And it all stemmed from my adoptive parents hating me for being "weird" and "odd". They hated me for my intrinsic identity. And they did these horrid things to me in the most important years of development. They broke me before my brain could even grow.

I never stood a chance and I think I've known for a long time I would get to the end - where I have genuinely done everything possible. I've exhausted all the treatments.

I hate to be fatalistic but just statistically the odds were never in my favor and it's a miracle I turned out the way I did.

Anyways, I think denial is okay. I'm sure someone smarter than I could argue denial looks the same as hope.

Similar life in a way. I wish it was comforting that our lives are equal to normie lives in the sense that every life ends with a memory wipe. It's like none of this will have happened good or bad

 

[SpiderLink]

I'm realizing that I do this. I have to accept that my problems can be made better to a point, but I've already tried those things and it didn't work. Trying them again won't make much difference. The life I want is outside my reach and it will only continue to decline.

I feel the same, it's always anxiety in the back of my head "what if" and I hate it and the depression part of me knows it won't. I've always described them as a couple, but an angry couple, always fighting and can never agree on something.