N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 7,305
Even though, I am member on here with several thousand posts and chatGPT categorized me as chronically online in some sense. I feel like I don't belong to this subgroup.
I have the feeling Secular Talk the American Youtuber he is chronically online. I watch him increasingly less. Because I think it is a lot of noise and epistemologically not serious enough. He sceptical towards authority though. I don't it needs a lot of reading to do what he does. It is funny to watch and infotainment.
I think I am often aware of media discourses more from legacy media. I don't spend time on X or Instagram though. I have more knowledge of American independent media than German independent media. And I am not all that aware of discourses on X or other mainstream platforms. Yes. I am chronically online on here. But I am not really exclusive in one space. I tend to be somewhat knowledgeable of US/American politics but my focus often depends on the issue.
I don't knoow that many German influencers. I could not name many independent journalists in Germany. I think the discourse online is quite different to the discourse in the mainstream outlets and journals that I usually consume. And I am also not very educated in scientifical discourses.
And I actually I also don't really strive to become expert in one discourse. There are key topics I am very interested in like media education or the rise of the far-right right. But for being an expert in one topic you have to specialize. And tbh epistemeologically specializing is a necessity. But I rather prefer being interesting and someone with whom you can have thought-provoking discussions even though I am not the ultimate expert in one field. Honestly, to talk only about one topics feels sort of autistic strange to me. It would accentuate my autistic traits I think. I also like to have deep discussions with women, and I got many compliments that I am a great person for that. And actually these connections are more important to me than wanting to find out the absolute undoubted truth. I had to become a researcher and dedicate my whole life for it. Honestly, I am not smart enough for that, data science makes me depressed as fuck and I certainly don't have the mental stability for such a career. However, I have the ambitions to go beyond the usual media narratives. And to go deeper than simple platitudes and biases from media outlets. And for that I also read texts from reseachers. I am probably intellectually a fraud. Though, I think if I only researched one topic I could become even stranger. And socially more awkward and maybe a little bit boring. So maybe my lesson is be careful what you wish for. I admire the quantum physics professor actually he was Ivy league educated and I wish was Ivy league educated. Though, with my intelligence my focus had to change. And maybe I would feel less in peace with myself. I think more reading, better writing in certain ways would probably be good. But this comes with certain costs. And I am not sure whether this is worth it considering my fragile mental health.
Edit: I have to add one thing something maybe concerning. I am pretty good at self-reflection and theorey related questions. Sometimes I listen to very long very complex essays or read a couple of articles in dossiers within a short time. I realize though I might become a one trick pony. I am so deep into the things that fascinate me that I forget about the world outside my orbit. For example I am pretty bad at board games. As I kid I loved playing games and I loved to learn new games and video games. But nowadays it feels like I don't want the effort and it distracts me too much from serious stuff. I don't like investing energy in things that don't really have a value for me. Moreover, sometimes I really struggle to think outside the box when it comes to practical things. Playing these boards games felt absolutely worthless for me. I really could never imagine how people can like that. Even though as a kid I loved playing them. I am a little bit scared I becomes to obsessed with my obsessions that it makes me more dysfunctional.
I have the feeling Secular Talk the American Youtuber he is chronically online. I watch him increasingly less. Because I think it is a lot of noise and epistemologically not serious enough. He sceptical towards authority though. I don't it needs a lot of reading to do what he does. It is funny to watch and infotainment.
I think I am often aware of media discourses more from legacy media. I don't spend time on X or Instagram though. I have more knowledge of American independent media than German independent media. And I am not all that aware of discourses on X or other mainstream platforms. Yes. I am chronically online on here. But I am not really exclusive in one space. I tend to be somewhat knowledgeable of US/American politics but my focus often depends on the issue.
I don't knoow that many German influencers. I could not name many independent journalists in Germany. I think the discourse online is quite different to the discourse in the mainstream outlets and journals that I usually consume. And I am also not very educated in scientifical discourses.
And I actually I also don't really strive to become expert in one discourse. There are key topics I am very interested in like media education or the rise of the far-right right. But for being an expert in one topic you have to specialize. And tbh epistemeologically specializing is a necessity. But I rather prefer being interesting and someone with whom you can have thought-provoking discussions even though I am not the ultimate expert in one field. Honestly, to talk only about one topics feels sort of autistic strange to me. It would accentuate my autistic traits I think. I also like to have deep discussions with women, and I got many compliments that I am a great person for that. And actually these connections are more important to me than wanting to find out the absolute undoubted truth. I had to become a researcher and dedicate my whole life for it. Honestly, I am not smart enough for that, data science makes me depressed as fuck and I certainly don't have the mental stability for such a career. However, I have the ambitions to go beyond the usual media narratives. And to go deeper than simple platitudes and biases from media outlets. And for that I also read texts from reseachers. I am probably intellectually a fraud. Though, I think if I only researched one topic I could become even stranger. And socially more awkward and maybe a little bit boring. So maybe my lesson is be careful what you wish for. I admire the quantum physics professor actually he was Ivy league educated and I wish was Ivy league educated. Though, with my intelligence my focus had to change. And maybe I would feel less in peace with myself. I think more reading, better writing in certain ways would probably be good. But this comes with certain costs. And I am not sure whether this is worth it considering my fragile mental health.
Edit: I have to add one thing something maybe concerning. I am pretty good at self-reflection and theorey related questions. Sometimes I listen to very long very complex essays or read a couple of articles in dossiers within a short time. I realize though I might become a one trick pony. I am so deep into the things that fascinate me that I forget about the world outside my orbit. For example I am pretty bad at board games. As I kid I loved playing games and I loved to learn new games and video games. But nowadays it feels like I don't want the effort and it distracts me too much from serious stuff. I don't like investing energy in things that don't really have a value for me. Moreover, sometimes I really struggle to think outside the box when it comes to practical things. Playing these boards games felt absolutely worthless for me. I really could never imagine how people can like that. Even though as a kid I loved playing them. I am a little bit scared I becomes to obsessed with my obsessions that it makes me more dysfunctional.
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