Do you blame your parents?

[Darkover]

nobody can guaranetee your child as a decent life so nobody should have any child

 

[StolenLife]

No. They did screw up, but they are not the main reason why I'm suicidal. If anyone's to blame, it's my bullies and guys who were creepy to me.

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

Always do. They are the reason why I had a fuck ton of unresolved childhood trauma, the reason why I develop depression, bpd, anger issues trust issues and a lot of other shit. I can never feel accepted or comfortable in my own home because of them. I could be having the most horrible breakdown ever but all they care about is that im "ungrateful" and the culprit is always the phone or the games. It has been this way ever since I were young and till now. I do feel guilty for always being such a bitch with them, but still, truth is that they caused this. Parents, please don't give birth if you can't guarantee your child a decent life thanks.

I feel you so much... almost as if you were describing my life too.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

To an extent because an autism diagnosis was withheld from me and I was pulled out from the community autism team I was working with. They had the whole "there's nothing wrong with my boy" mentality. This was in the mid 90s when there was less awareness around it. I still think I would've ended up fucked up regardless.

One thing I do fully put on them is the fact they were neglectful alcoholics who caused me a tremendous amount of shame and embarrassment, growing up. It was the elephant in the room. My friends knew about it. They knew what was really going on when I made up excuses as to why they couldn't come over.

My Dad used to 'square up' to me when he was blackout drunk and try and fight me. I doubt he has any memory of this. I already had violent tendancies before he started doing this, but it got a lot worse after we started fighting. Thankfully, I'm not a violent person nowadays.

 

[ms.astral_01]

Always do. They are the reason why I had a fuck ton of unresolved childhood trauma, the reason why I develop depression, bpd, anger issues trust issues and a lot of other shit. I can never feel accepted or comfortable in my own home because of them. I could be having the most horrible breakdown ever but all they care about is that im "ungrateful" and the culprit is always the phone or the games. It has been this way ever since I were young and till now. I do feel guilty for always being such a bitch with them, but still, truth is that they caused this. Parents, please don't give birth if you can't guarantee your child a decent life thanks.

My parents are the only reason I'm suicidal and do self harm, they made me develop trust issues, super negative body image, terrible self esteem, etc. They're blissfully ignorant and also always blame everything on technology. Whenever I try and inform them of the damage they've caused, they say "what could we possibly have done? we've given you a house, food, water, and other necessities. you're always so ungrateful, how about you learn to smile and be happy from those phones you're always using." It's so frustrating how someone could be so incompetent emotionally. I'm basically living out of spite at this point.

 

[Unknown21]

Yes, I do blame them for giving me life and other stuff.

 

[axxxu]

Yes, and mostly my mother. But both of them put me through hell.

 

[charlotte_]

My parents are the only reason I'm suicidal and do self harm, they made me develop trust issues, super negative body image, terrible self esteem, etc. They're blissfully ignorant and also always blame everything on technology. Whenever I try and inform them of the damage they've caused, they say "what could we possibly have done? we've given you a house, food, water, and other necessities. you're always so ungrateful, how about you learn to smile and be happy from those phones you're always using." It's so frustrating how someone could be so incompetent emotionally. I'm basically living out of spite at this point.

Damn, that is a really tough situation. Are you still going through this? Either way, I'm very sorry you had to go through that, whether if it was in the past or currently. I understand, I also find that incredibly relatable. My body image and self esteem issues also comes from them, yet they never take responsibility when they were told so. Actually, my mom had cried in front of me before when I told her I was depressed. It feels really uncomfortable. But what's worse is that after all that, she told me "If you're not going to forgive me then I'll just move on and forgive myself". At that moment, I genuinely questioned myself if she even cared about me. I find it really disturbing how parents consider the most basic necessities like home, food, water ect like all that you'd ever need, as if they aren't the most basic things you must have in order to have a child. We are humans with emotional needs too, and it is also their job to provide that yet they always think it is our responsibility. It's just so horrible.

I feel you so much... almost as if you were describing my life too.

It's always great knowing there are people who understand. Thanks a lot for letting me know that. Sending hugs (or whatever you're comfy with) to you <3

 

[ms.astral_01]

Are you still going through this?

Not currently, since I moved out. However, it left a crazy mark on me. I genuinely believe I'm unlovable, despite not having a terrible face, and actually being kind of a decent person. I think I don't deserve anything, and anything that happens is my fault in some way. I hate my body so much, I'd even consider transitioning to be a girl, although whoever it is I have left that supports me would probably cut me off if I did that. I'm just really tired of everything tbh.

 

[nightshade00]

They might not have been the best, but I don't think my parents ever acted with negative intent. So no, I don't blame them. Most of my mental issues are either biological or caused by trauma/experiences they had no involvement in.

 

[nopointinlife]

Yes. Although it's been a while since they both died, I'm still haunted by their memories and all the angry emotions and sadness they caused.

 

[unsaiddes]

I don't blame my parents for having kids, they wanted me very much and I was treated well throughout my childhood. However, I really think they weren't prepared to handle having adult children. They haven't effectively communicated with or supported me emotionally since I transitioned from teenagehood into young adulthood. We have nothing in common and it shows; all they can do is pretend I'm still a kid and get frustrated when I prove I'm not. That is what I resent - that they now basically see me as a stranger they used to love and are required to keep loving.