do you believe your situation can never get better?

[Hollowillow]

I'm back with what I consider a trivial question but I'd like to know your guys' opinion :)

I used to be very successful before having my breakdown a month and a half ago. I was close to getting a job and I was "living life to the fullest". things got bad and I started questioning everything around me. long story short, this questioning has led me to the conclusion that life is purposeless and our death means nothing more than our life. that thought is pretty scary because it makes me hesitate during every step I take towards recovery. I'm trying to get better but this thought annoys me on a whole different level that I wish I never reached to this conclusion. if I hadn't reached said conclusion, I think I might've been able to fight back and at least pretend that I'm happy.

My life could get better but I don't have the means & the people supposed to help "put sticks in my wheel"...

I think you can get better. But I don't think you should go back to being in blissful denial, a devoted slave zombie for corporations, you sound burned out.

Questionning everything can sound like depression for people wanting to sedate the masses into dumb obedience...

But it's a sign of a wise awakening, of seeking meaning.

I think there is one. Just exploring life for your own curious satisfaction.

The mere act of living is far more meaningful than any bling & praise by rich narcs.

You make your own dream. I think I wanted to quietly contemplace the universe and try to uncover its secrets. As long as you don't starve it's plenty. I just wish I could better the world. But bettering oneself is enough. And sometimes it means not fitting in the slave mold anymore & being selfish enough to put self care first. Viral needs above wants. Life priorities as core values.

If you do that. Your brain will reward you.

But so much shit can go wrong, so I wish my travel through space ended or at least got a healthier vessel that can actually travel... Being sick motivated me to learn much more than my narc mom & social pressures... Pain opened my mind like a cracked nut pain too had meaning. But I am tired

 

[Anonymus]

As they have already said around here, it depends on how old you are. If I managed to overcome the harmful mental states, obviously yes, that things, no matter how bad they were, would be much easier to deal with and that would allow me to live life in a different way.

But with the physical deterioration I carry and the non-resolution of all the problems I have accumulated, it makes the short-term future quite disappointing and fearful to be lived by anyone.

//

Com ja han dit per aquí depén de l'edat que tinguis. Si aconseguis sobreposar-me als estats mentals perjudicials evidentment que si, que les coses, per malament que anessin, serien molt mes fàcils de païr i això em permetria viure la vida d'una altra manera.

Però amb el deteriorament físic que porto i la no resol·lució de tots els problemes que tinc acumulats, fa que el futur a curt termini siguí força decebedor y temerós de ser viscut per qualsevol.

 

[Hollowillow]

Mine can't to the degree I'd like. I had an eye surgery that disfigured me. I've been to so many doctors in South Korea and the US and they all said what they could do for me is limited because I was so messed up.

I'm sorry... But it reminded me of a guy with holes in his face. He played in zombies movies. I hope you're not blind.

Not really, it is now more than two years since my life went down. I was quite successful in my previous dream job until it was taken away from me (due to an error of mine). The job covered many of the personality issues I have, now they are all back.

I am 43, I do not have the energies to start a new career from zero. I tried but I just cannot. I was given a simialr job in a foreign country but i could not manage to live there. I have now a silly job in my country. It is stable but I feel in a cage, no more travels around the world, no international environment, no way to express my creativity.

I know I will never be more than I was before. I am also unable to make friends or to build a relationship with a woman. I only knew how t do my job and that is not there anymore. I have nothing to do in this world and nothing to offer. I could easily get old in this new job but I feel everyday trapped in my own mind. I would really like a way out and I hope that this forum will help me build the courage to do it.

Job sucks but hopefully you still have energy for hobbies after? Save to travel? Go meet people in game or walk groups? Might meet a nice person
E

Since coming to believe that this place is a simulation, I don't really feel all that bad anymore.

It's more so, "whatever happens, happens".

Nothing in this bitch is real.

We're just avatars plugged into this simulacrum, and our true selves are somewhere outside of this construct, jacked in.

I'm just trying to figure out how to use the simulacrum to my personal benefit.

I think it's the opposite. Everything is energy. Our thoughts are real too. In quantum physics the laws & results change if there is an observer. (Double slit experiment, dr quantum, youtube) Thoughts can affect random things ... Recorded... into the past. We're like god learning its power. Maybe. I'm scared of quantum computers because machines don't have doubt. They can influence the universe with sheer will.

I can't will myself healthy, not even in my dream home... I couldn't imagine being saved I guess... Because every second is agony since I put acid chemicals everywhere... To clean... Id like to clean myself out now...

But what if... Life is indeed the matrix... And there was never anything else. Only energy. Only thoughts

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that for a fact the longer that I stay alive the more that I will suffer and the worse that things will get. Being suicidal is seeing the world for what it really is, it makes sense for me to leave this world as I see no point to suffering until old age just to die eventually anyway. I have no interest in situations 'getting better' anyway. I simply prefer the sound of non existence to any kind of life and living doesn't interest me. I don't understand how anyone could ever want to live in a world as cruel as this.

 

[OnlyWinOnce]

Fuck no, I've been waiting ten years for things to "get better", and they've only gotten worse.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I was very successful as well. I would consider my life having been phenomenal. But everything was taken from me and my life has been totally annihilated. I don't want to recover. I find more peace in the thought of death than I've ever found in life even when I was happy and successful. For some reason, I'm more comfortable now, even though everything has gone to shit.

 

[Funeralprincess]

No, not in this age (40s). However there's a chance for people in 20s and slightly becomes harder to change anything at all when you're in 30s, even if it's naive to hope so, at least your brain isn't fully developed, yet.

Just imagine if you have to start your career at 40 or didn't have any experience in related field. It surely easier if you're 25 and decide to apply an entry level to another company than for a 40 to apply manager position; especially when you already fucked up before, there's no longer such opportunity. The only thing you can do at 40 is to start your own biz which mostly (90%) will fail at the first couple of years.

It's not easier at 25 lol. I'm 25 and the market for people like me is horrible. Even getting an internship has become impossible. Many students around me are dropping out of college because of this… it's unfortunate. Drop out rates in colleges have increased, and it tends to be linked to lack of opportunities. Many of us believed the lie everyone will want to hire us, but that's very false. It's a lie that's fed to the masses and now is the worst time to even try to get a career. I have friends younger than me with experience who still cannot obtain a career and it's infuriating

 

[Euthanza]

It's not easier at 25 lol. I'm 25 and the market for people like me is horrible. Even getting an internship has become impossible. Many students around me are dropping out of college because of this… it's unfortunate. Drop out rates in colleges have increased, and it tends to be linked to lack of opportunities. Many of us believed the lie everyone will want to hire us, but that's very false. It's a lie that's fed to the masses and now is the worst time to even try to get a career. I have friends younger than me with experience who still cannot obtain a career and it's infuriating

Yeah, neither I never had any good experience in workplace. Last time I thought my life still on the track was during my college, after that everything just chaotic and stagnant.

 

[anxious_depressive]

My situation is only getting worse.
I'm so tired and I'm really scared.

 

[wljourney]

I gave myself a one-month time to "get my shit together". if I don't and I'm still as miserable as I'm currently then SN is the way to go.
edit: thanks for the advice by the way

Mmmhh… one month is not very long when it comes to an exhausted psyche.

Think of it like this: how long did it take you to get to the point that you are at right now? How many months or years of stress led to today?
There is a good chance that it will take a bit longer to fix it again. Just like a broken leg takes 6 weeks and often a few weeks or months of rehab.

Allow yourself a chance to get better.

Don't get me wrong.
I'm all for the right to die.
The right to choose.

Once you have given yourself a fair chance. Because you fucking deserve it.