Do you all like/love yourself?

[brokeandbroken]

I like some things about myself but I really don't love myself so it's like something in between

Makes sense. That seems to a popular answer.

 

[permanent_solution]

I dont like being me but i dont hate myself. Does that make sense? I feel like it is unfair to do the latter, theres little you choose when you come to this world. And all the things i dislike, for the most part, are out of my control. It seems unfair to lash out at myself for those uncontrollable parts of life. Though the parts that i do control, and that i can change - i try to, so i dont actually end up hating myself without end. It is creeping up on me lately though, since i've been slacking...

 

[SpiderLink]

Oh interesting. That's good I think?

I hate who I am, and it's not that I'm a bad person, I'm just someone who is deeply broken

 

[brokeandbroken]

I dont like being me but i dont hate myself. Does that make sense? I feel like it is unfair to do the latter, theres little you choose when you come to this world. And all the things i dislike, for the most part, are out of my control. It seems unfair to lash out at myself for those uncontrollable parts of life. Though the parts that i do control, and that i can change - i try to, so i dont actually end up hating myself without end. It is creeping up on me lately though, since i've been slacking...

I understand that completely. I'm not sure I hate myself either but I far from love myself. I also have had my self-esteem ripped to shreds by the world. Basically had everyone tell me what piece of scum I am. How unworthy I am of help of any kind....

I hate who I am, and it's not that I'm a bad person, I'm just someone who is deeply broken

Same here.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Sort of, but not exactly. An IQ test would result in an IQ score, whereas my test produced an ATAR score. IQ tests are usually more comprehensive and make use of lots of specific tests to target singular cognitive faculties, e.g. digit span for working memory. Maybe I wasn't very clear. The aptitude test I sat years ago, before I was even admitted to the course. It granted me the ability to apply to my course, but beyond that it serves no relevance to my current situation. The tests I'm required to sit now are all related to cardiac physiology in some way that require lots of memorization, as is common in any life science degree. The tests and exams are online, and are openbook, which I exploit to the fullest and feel guilty for. If I had to sit these tests in person on campus, I would almost certainly fail. The only silver lining I hold on to is that there is a disconnect between all the academics and theory and the actual hands-on work.

Very generous of you to assume something so highly of me, but alas, no. The degree is referred to as cardiac physiology, which in full requires me to know and be competent in non-invasive cardiac diagnostic testing, a whole bunch of shit relating to the cardiac catheter lab, cardiac implant device testing, transthoracic echocardiograms (but not transesophageal ecgs) and operating electrophysiology equipment. Jesus fucking christ, just typing all that out sent shivers of self-doubt down my spine. Still probably easier than pharmacy, though.


Your story sounds unjust and cruel. I'd love to read your posts, but you would have to direct me there as I can't view your profile. I too am trying to make something of myself, but my faith is waning. Have you ever considered returning to Australia for work in some way? I live in Queensland now, so funny you should mention that you did some of your residency here. I actually moved here from Western Australia to study this, a decision that is sure to make me look double the fool if I fail. It's part of the reason why I wish to complete my current semester before making any mortal decisions, lest I add one more failure to the list before I go. Also, if you don't mind me asking, why oncology? I use to have great fantasies and dreams of becoming a psychiatrist, but I always knew these were to only ever be fantasies and never goals given my current capacities and capabilities.

Thanks for the response.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/advice.130452/ My story is in this thread...

 

[FrostedHoax]

No，quite the opposite actually. I have little more than harsh words for describing myself and no matter how much I may improve myself and get my life together, I will not stop having this harsh opinion of myself.

 

[telw84]

No, no I dont, and frankly never will, I have done terrible things

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

I have never even tolerated myself, I don't know what it's like to actually like oneself, but it makes me happy when I see others that do.

 

[divinemistress36]

I fuckin hate my brain damaged self

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I hate myself. I know I am unloveable. It just makes me want to die, knowing I'm undeserving of happiness or love. I'm cursed

 

[UserHussein]

I utterly despise myself. I was privileged every opportunity others would kill for, and I squandered it doing unproductive things. I feel so guilty, I don't deserve to live. I'm a burden to those that love me. Others with much less than me are able to achieve more at a much younger age, because they, unlike I, are not lazy time-wasters who prefer surfing the web rather than doing their work.

 

[girlsboysthems]

i dont think i am a good person, and i think i fucked up many many things in my life. i think if i got another chance at life i would do everything different, but i would definitely prefer not being alive /:

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

No, I don't.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Absolutely not. Why should I be forced to like the person who's caused me the most suffering and torment?

 

[Shrike]

It's complicated. I feel a bit splintered. Like there's a me and a projection of me and how people react to the projection of me. At the end of the day, I don't feel like I dislike myself. I feel like I could get along with another person similar to myself just fine. But I feel like I'm frequently told I should dislike myself, and I fall into it at times. Especially when it's sold as a prerequisite to "healing".

I've been told I was off since I was in kindergarden. My parents neglected me. Then I was bullied for it, my offness. It never really went away. I learned to mask. To not show who I am, because I have been told quite clearly that it is terrible. I still slip up and if I say too much or expose too much I am informed again of how off I am and how I am doing everything wrong. People are rather quick to tell me.

What, exactly, does "loving yourself" mean in the context of that? Doesn't bode well for the world if I have to reflect all that back to do so.

 

[umopep!sdn128]

If I hate myself, but there are people who love me, by hating myself I make them hate themselves too, which they absolutely don't deserve

 

[kawaiiphantom]

no, I hate every inch of my useless body

 

[Raven2]

I'm proud that I keep going somehow even when life gets really dark but i dont love myself

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I try to stay neutral... But it's hard sometimes

 

[kotonearisato]

If I met myself, I would like me a lot. It's hard to apply that logic to myself when I have to live with all the wrong choices, though.

 

[Quiet_Cricket]

No.

 

[Sivit]

No otherwise I wouldn't be here
One requirement to access the forum is your reason on why you wanna be here
An Admin sees this and determines if you can have access to this forum

 

[KafkaF]

Nope.

Hate myself as the worthless pile of shit I am.

 

[Death is my goal]

lol no

 

[EvisceratedJester]

☆☆ My self-hatred knows no bounds☆☆​

 

[passivethought121]

I have never ever liked my appearance. I know I'm not hideous, but I still don't like it. Even as a child, my pride was entirely in my personality.
I have never ever loved my appearance. Even as a child, my pride was entirely in my personality.

 

[Deicius]

I don't really like myself because of all the embarrassments, mistakes, and lapses I've been involved in because of being me, and I also don't see any importance in myself to even hate it. I often feel like I'm a duplicate of the same mistake made by nature, which calls itself man.

 

[The Ninth God]

I love myself, a lot. I'm not suicidal and I registered on this forum for other reasons.

 

[F@#$]

Nope,I can't stand myself.

 

[Argo]

I'm glad to be myself. I'm glad to have the perspective I do on the world, even though it causes me suffering, because I deeply value what's true. I have a lot of positive intention towards myself even though it's hard to overcome self-criticism sometimes, because that's been drummed into my brain from long term abuse as a child. The kind where nothing was ever good enough. But I've managed to mostly re-parent myself and accept myself, recognize my positive qualities and good intentions. One of the main things that helped me forgive myself for mistakes and flaws(this lets you extend this attitude towards others) is the idea that there's no free will, and we don't choose ourselves in a meaningful way. We just get thrown into our lives. We still have to make choices, but they aren't free choices, it's not something that makes sense to "punish" or "beat ourselves up" over any more than you would punish a cat for going "meow".

This has been incredibly helpful psychologically not just for me but for letting go of things like hatred or resentment towards others-- those attitudes cause a lot of harm that is just based around a confusion that pretends people can be other than what they are.