Venting do they love you really

[luvpup]

why cant they pretend to love me really and actually
well at least one or two do
but i know deep down how they really feel
its sad when they change their tune on me
i dont feel like giving myself away anymore
but i still need something
but the affection and infatuation doesnt make me feel better anymore
i see through it more and more
maybe i need to do worse to myself already
someone just hurt me some more so i can feel something more again
stop lying to me you don't believe in me
you know i can't do anything
when i go silent its quiet
i am no longer entertained or interested in conversations with others as much
i wish i could go back to the times i was even more more more naive and believed such empty silly words from these kinds of people who make me think they love me
someone save me!!
im so pitiful!!
lol
no its silly
but i dont care
i have nothing better to have
so call me nice things ok?
i will do as much as i can for you to make up for it for how useless i am
i dont really care if im an object or not
i say but i know thats a lie too
my best use is being dead