Discussion Do i need to stop selfarm??

[please_kill_me]

I used to self harm but this week, I was like 8 months clean, I selfarm...I couldn't stop thinking on how this would affect my life, on how hot the weather was and that I would need to use sweatshirts or coats. Idk but I did it and now I want more. Even tho I know that doesn't help, it's like a momentary help. I feel the need to cut myself or I'll be in deep crisis that last hours, and most of the time I can't breathe.

My cuts aren't deep, I mean just one.

I know that this is silly, but I think scars are attractive and I wanted to have scars on my neck, I already have on my arms and belly. Not that much, like u can still understand that I have an arm. But I don't want to die now. Cause I want to ctb at new year's.
Do I need to stop to selfarm? Everyone says that's a bad thing...but is it?

 

[almost_dead]

Don't listen to them . If you wanna self-harm go for it and if you are gonna CTB at new year how does it even matter .

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

If that is what you want to do then there is no reason to hold back just be careful not to get an infection. I personally don't mind if someone does that, knew a few people who had visible scars on them, even I did it a few times years ago. However, it really just depends on you. If you think scars are beautiful then you don't have to listen to people who have different views than you.
I know it is hard to get by in this world with a different mindset than the majority but in the end it is your life, your choices.

 

[Lupgevif]

Ideally, yes. It is an addiction, you may obsess over it and hinder other parts of your life, even if you intend to ctb soon. I would say the same about drugs, if you were clean and were considering to go back I'd say ABSOLUTELY NOT. You may just make things worse for yourself before you die. In the end, you do you, but that's what I think.

 

[please_kill_me]

If that is what you want to do then there is no reason to hold back just be careful not to get an infection. I personally don't mind if someone does that, knew a few people who had visible scars on them, even I did it a few times years ago. However, it really just depends on you. If you think scars are beautiful then you don't have to listen to people who have different views than you.
I know it is hard to get by in this world with a different mindset than the majority but in the end it is your life, your choices.

Thank youuu

 

[Deleted member 19654]

If I could make myself stop self harming I would. I was several years clean and now I've started up again, I can't stop. It just makes me feel even worse.

 

[please_kill_me]

Ideally, yes. It is an addiction, you may obsess over it and hinder other parts of your life, even if you intend to ctb soon. I would say the same about drugs, if you were clean and were considering to go back I'd say ABSOLUTELY NOT. You may just make things worse for yourself before you die. In the end, you do you, but that's what I think.

How can I make thing worse give me an example. I'm saying this with the most innocent mindset ever. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or something.

If I could make myself stop self harming I would. I was several years clean and now I've started up again, I can't stop. It just makes me feel even worse.

Why worse and worse for u or for other? This is a real question I'm not trying to me sarcastic or ironic.

 

[Lupgevif]

Sounds like you want more validation to do what you want than any real opinion whether or not you should. Just feel free to ignore my post and proceed to fulfill your wishes. But to answer your question: self-harm is a pathologic behaviour, you can get addicted and obsessed which may raise alarms on people around you, you may end up in a hospital for hurting yourself too bad, or in a psych ward, which may get in the way of you catching the bus; or even injure yourself to the point you lose some movement on a limb (you say you don't like cutting too deep, so try to stay that way, you may rupture a tendon or nerves).

 

[please_kill_me]

Sounds like you want more validation to do what you want than any real opinion whether or not you should. Just feel free to ignore my post and proceed to fulfill your wishes.

The thing is I did post this cause I cant ignore even if I wanted to I just can't. So at the time of my crisis (when I usually selfarm) all my thoughts and things that people said have like a fight and I'm the battlefield. So if more people don't want me to selfarm or more things stop me to do it, I won't. Cause I can't.

 

[Lupgevif]

The thing is I did post this cause I cant ignore even if I wanted to I just can't. So at the time of my crisis (when I usually selfarm) all my thoughts and things that people said have like a fight and I'm the battlefield. So if more people don't want me to selfarm or more things stop me to do it, I won't. Cause I can't.

I am sorry for saying that. I answered why I think it could make things worse in my last post:

But to answer your question: self-harm is a pathologic behaviour, you can get addicted and obsessed which may raise alarms on people around you, you may end up in a hospital for hurting yourself too bad, or in a psych ward, which may get in the way of you catching the bus; or even injure yourself to the point you lose some movement on a limb (you say you don't like cutting too deep, so try to stay that way, you may rupture a tendon or nerves).

 

[Leftover]

Well, I won't encourage you to keep on harming yourself, neither will I tell you to stop. I hate harming myself, sometimes I feel even worse than I did before. The scars hinder me to wear shorts in summer, I'm not allowed to do sports because I once cut myself to deep in the wrong places.
All I can tell you is that sometimes, I have a little bit of relief, but long-term it just made everything worse for me.

 

[please_kill_me]

I am sorry for saying that. I answered why I think it could make things worse in my last post:

:0 thanks now I see why can be bad. But I never cut that deep cause of that but not to superficial cause I want to see them.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Why worse and worse for u or for other? This is a real question I'm not trying to me sarcastic or ironic.

I hate that I need to hurt myself to try and feel better and I hate that it doesn't make me feel better. Seeing and feeling the cuts just makes me hate myself even more.

 

[Lupgevif]

Turns out I kind of relate with you. I have cut before, but very rarely, very superficially (because I am very intolerant to the pain caused by blades) and I liked looking at the scars afterwards (most of which have gone away already since they were very shallow cuts). The thing about doing things on impulse is that while it feels good during the act, it may bring guilt later. So I am legitimately worried you may also end up ashamed and hating yourself for cutting, because that's what happens with most compulsions (for me, I never felt bad about cutting, but other things I had difficult controlling like eating and spending just made me more miserable).

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I don't know when or if I'll end up ctbing so I'm just making myself suffer even more by self harming.

 

[Ghost2211]

If self harm is not a problem for you personally then it's not a problem. It doesn't hurt anyone but yourself. If it causes bad feelings during or after it's likely not ideal, but if you don't mind the process or after effects than why would there be a problem.

 

[please_kill_me]

I hate that I need to hurt myself to try and feel better and I hate that it doesn't make me feel better. Seeing and feeling the cuts just makes me hate myself even more.

I understand that, I have friends like that, and I'm sorry to hear that that's the way u feel about it... but I like to feel pain u know? Makes me feel calm and stuff. And I like how it looks. I know that I make some people uncomfortable so I don't usually use t shirts just when I'm dying and all sweaty.

Turns out I kind of relate with you. I have cut before, but very rarely, very superficially (because I am very intolerant to the pain caused by blades) and I liked looking at the scars afterwards (most of which have gone away already since they were very shallow cuts). The thing about doing things on impulse is that while it feels good during the act, it may bring guilt later. So I am legitimately worried you may also end up ashamed and hating yourself for cutting, because that's what happens with most compulsions (for me, I never felt bad about cutting, but other things I had difficult controlling like eating and spending just made me more miserable).

I've never done anything on impulse I usually think a lot before doing something. My mind just doesn't stop. It's kinda annoying but it helps sometimes.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I used to self harm but this week, I was like 8 months clean, I selfarm...I couldn't stop thinking on how this would affect my life, on how hot the weather was and that I would need to use sweatshirts or coats. Idk but I did it and now I want more. Even tho I know that doesn't help, it's like a momentary help. I feel the need to cut myself or I'll be in deep crisis that last hours, and most of the time I can't breathe.

My cuts aren't deep, I mean just one.

I know that this is silly, but I think scars are attractive and I wanted to have scars on my neck, I already have on my arms and belly. Not that much, like u can still understand that I have an arm. But I don't want to die now. Cause I want to ctb at new year's.
Do I need to stop to selfarm? Everyone says that's a bad thing...but is it?

Yes stop self harming.

Quite frankly scars are not attractive.
Why would they be?

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I know I do it to myself and it makes me a hypocrite, but I don't like it when other people feel they need to hurt themselves to try and feel better.

 

[Lupgevif]

I don't know when or if I'll end up ctbing so I'm just making myself suffer even more by self harming.

I say I think you shouldn't self-harm before ctb because of the further suffering it may bring to some people. Ctb is a delicate process, emotionally heavy. Making yourself suffer more may just hinder your choice making capabilities, which may result in you choosing to die even though you are not ready yet; it may cause you to act on impulse, making mistakes with your method and managing to just hurt yourself permanently while remaining alive; or even, as I already said, you can ruin your chances of doing it because you'll end up either in an hospital or psych ward.

I understand that, I have friends like that, and I'm sorry to hear that that's the way u feel about it... but I like to feel pain u know? Makes me feel calm and stuff. And I like how it looks. I know that I make some people uncomfortable so I don't usually use t shirts just when I'm dying and all sweaty.

If you do it, do responsibly. Sanitize the blade and yourself before and afterwards, don't go deep, avoid arteries, veins, nerves, tendons or any sensitive and important part of your body. I still see it as unhealthy and not ideal, but I just ate three chocolate popsicles in a row despite being overweight, so I am not in any higher moral ground.

 

[please_kill_me]

Yes stop self harming.

Quite frankly scars are not attractive.
Why would they be?

It depends on the person. Why do people find feet attractive??? Idk, they disgust me, but some people just love them.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I say I think you shouldn't self-harm before ctb because of the further suffering it may bring to some people. Ctb is a delicate process, emotionally heavy. Making yourself suffer more may just hinder your choice making capabilities, which may result in you choosing to die even though you are not ready yet; it may cause you to act on impulse, making mistakes with your method and managing to just hurt yourself permanently while remaining alive; or even, as I already said, you can ruin your chances of doing it because you'll end up either in an hospital or psych ward.

I agree with you. It's just fucking up my mind and depression even more. But once you fall back into that cycle of self harm, it's hard to stop. It would be great if everyone here could stop self harming.

 

[Acopia]

I started cutting again a couple of months ago, I'd been clean for years.
& oh damn I'd missed it so much. That rush of endorphins that comes from seeing the blood..
So yeah, now I'm stuck with it again
I know it's not good, it gets out of hand, and I hate the scars that it leaves. But in a crazy, uncontrollable world, it's my one method to feel like I'm in control - although in reality I have very little control over my SH.

So I feel you!
- Gentle hugs, A.

Yes stop self harming.

Quite frankly scars are not attractive.
Why would they be?

My actual dream would be to cut without leaving scars. The scars are vile imo..

 

[Meditation guide]

I used to self harm but this week, I was like 8 months clean, I selfarm...I couldn't stop thinking on how this would affect my life, on how hot the weather was and that I would need to use sweatshirts or coats. Idk but I did it and now I want more. Even tho I know that doesn't help, it's like a momentary help. I feel the need to cut myself or I'll be in deep crisis that last hours, and most of the time I can't breathe.

My cuts aren't deep, I mean just one.

I know that this is silly, but I think scars are attractive and I wanted to have scars on my neck, I already have on my arms and belly. Not that much, like u can still understand that I have an arm. But I don't want to die now. Cause I want to ctb at new year's.
Do I need to stop to selfarm? Everyone says that's a bad thing...but is it?

I can't understand liking that but it's your body to do with as you please so who cares what others think of it?

 

[Acopia]

I used to love the cuts and scars. Just to explain from my perspective for those who may not understand..

I started cutting when I was 11 (I'm now 25) and for a good few years I loved the scars!
I think it was because for me they were a real representation of how much pain I was in, they somehow made my emotions real + my feelings valid.

I've since grown to realise that they never go away and actually my old scars now represent problems that I no longer have, so I find them embarrassing! But they are what they are. I'm stuck with them.

I hate the new ones I create almost instantly because I know that one day I'll feel the same way about them as I do my old ones.

Maybe that's what's happening here? I think it's normal to like the scars and want more, it's all part of the process of making emotional pain real and viable.
Unfortunately, in my experience at least, that like turns to dislike in time.

-A.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I can understand the struggle, I have a history of self harm too and sometimes, I'm worried I will end up doing it again. I usually do it on my arm but if you're worried about having to wear sweatshirts or coats to cover it up, next time you could do it somewhere else that won't be seen, like your leg or stomach or put some makeup on the scars.

You don't need to stop doing it, it's your choice. Many of us on here are self-destructive, whether it's alcohol, drugs, self harm, eating disorders and so on. We all have our coping mechanisms and there's nothing wrong with that. Sending you hugs x