Do anyone else get jealous when they read about someone dying in a freak accident?

[knickknack81]

So yesterday, I was reading a music website talking about a bassist for an indie rock band who died in a random car accident in Canada at the age of 42. It feels terrible saying this but my first response to that was "lucky". Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out for his family and friends and everyone who knew him and I'm sure it had to be absolutely devastating. But for me, as someone who has been having thoughts of CTB for a while now, I can't help but think about going out in a way like that, where you don't have to plan for anything or worry about SI or have the stigma of taking yr own life, etc. Also, to have that feeling of "it should have been me" instead of someone who probably wants to stick around. I dunno, it just seems like every time I read a story of someone dying young and sudden I get upset and think "why couldn't it have been me".

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

My best friend died in his sleep, had a brain aneurysm and never woke up. How I wish that were me instead.

 

[albaboosh]

Same. It's a horrible way to feel but it is what it is.

 

[Kalista]

when i drive, i don't wear a seat belt anymore. i imagine getting hit and launched out of the car, or get the body wrecked from within. does not matter if i barely survive, as i have an advance health directive to not keep me alive.

 

[wham311]

All of us.

And it's a bit of hope but then. You realize it isn't happening and it's depressing.

Any time someone ctb here im just jealous

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand as all I want is to cease existing, I just want to never suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence ever again and I always and only envy those who no longer suffer and I suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing and never exist again as all I wish for is to cease existing, only non-existence is positive for me and is just all I see as desirable in this existence of cruelty and suffering where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer, I'd just never wish to exist, I'm always so tired of being burdened with this futile existence.

 

[timechained]

Yes, all the time. I also get jealous that I can CTB in my mind.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

All. The. Time. Gas line explosions. Drive-by shootings. Cancer. Crushed by a tree in a storm. I always wish that could be me. It's such a cruel irony that so often, those people wanted to live. I wish there was a way to switch places so they could continue their happy lives and we could take their other fate. New business idea - the fate exchange.

 

[SeafoamSkeleton]

I'm even jealous of my two friends who died young from cancer. They were both wonderful people while I am a waste of life. If I could've, I would've switched with them in a second. At one point I thought I could and was planning to sacrifice myself as a replacement in a pseudospiritual psychotic way, but she died before I could make my attempt.

 

[wham311]

Praying for cancer.

My friend left so quick. Found out he had stage 4 colon cNcer and was gone 6 months later.

Thought he was so young at 45. I'm 38. Id do anything for that

 

[itsnigh]

a little jealous and mostly sad, I see it and think, it should have been me, not you. I don't deserve to be here, I don't even want to be. You did. It's so unfair.

 

[33K1LLM3]

For me I'm sad that innocent people got something they didn't ask for, for me I upset because it didn't happen to someone who are begging for it too happen, sometimes luck just really ain't on your side .(

 

[EternalShore]

My best friend died in his sleep, had a brain aneurysm and never woke up. How I wish that were me instead.

so lucky~ >_<

I don't like reading much about dark topics including death tho~ >_< So I usually get jealous about how much people get to enjoy their lives while they're here instead and get sewer slidal from that~ >_<

 

[wham311]

so lucky~ >_<

I don't like reading much about dark topics including death tho~ >_< So I usually get jealous about how much people get to enjoy their lives while they're here instead and get sewer slidal from that~ >_<

I get both

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

Yes so much, every time I hear about an accidental death. It honestly seems like the perfect way to die, not even being aware of it, maybe just a few moments of fear and terror and then nothing. My goodness I wish someone would just shoot me in the back of the head.

I'm even jealous of my two friends who died young from cancer. They were both wonderful people while I am a waste of life. If I could've, I would've switched with them in a second. At one point I thought I could and was planning to sacrifice myself as a replacement in a pseudospiritual psychotic way, but she died before I could make my attempt.

I understand how you feel, if only it was possible to give our lives to save someone else with some awful disease. How much better would the world be if all the people with cancer who don't want to die got to take the lives of us suicidal people and we could die in their place? So sad that life doesn't work that way...

 

[Lost Impact]

oh absolutely i do. sometimes it happens to people so young and all i can think is why was it you and not me. i heard about an incident when i was a kid where a swing fell on a child and killed them and i could only focus on the fact that they were just an innocent kid. why wasn't that me instead? the worst child, the worst thing. i imagine horrible things happening all the time and thinking what is the reality of when i die?

 

[2muchpain2]

So yesterday, I was reading a music website talking about a bassist for an indie rock band who died in a random car accident in Canada at the age of 42. It feels terrible saying this but my first response to that was "lucky". Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out for his family and friends and everyone who knew him and I'm sure it had to be absolutely devastating. But for me, as someone who has been having thoughts of CTB for a while now, I can't help but think about going out in a way like that, where you don't have to plan for anything or worry about SI or have the stigma of taking yr own life, etc. Also, to have that feeling of "it should have been me" instead of someone who probably wants to stick around. I dunno, it just seems like every time I read a story of someone dying young and sudden I get upset and think "why couldn't it have been me".

yes! every single time!!

 

[badatparties]

Yes, but i also feel sad. They most likely didn't want to die, while a bunch of us here are suicidal. Life is so weird like that, you have a whole bunch of people sterilizing themselves and then you have a whole bunch of people getting IVF treatments. Nature isn't fair that's for sure.

Praying for cancer.

My friend left so quick. Found out he had stage 4 colon cNcer and was gone 6 months later.

Thought he was so young at 45. I'm 38. Id do anything for that

Terminal cancer with 6 months to live and then bam off to Switzerland. I hope i don't regret it or cry like a beatchh if it comes true.

 

[kopebaldy]

The video of the man who barely reacted after hanging or the old lady who drank N and dripping peacefully into sleep.

Lovely to be them.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Only if their last moments were likely to be peaceful

 

[lifecanbecruel!]

I always hear about people dying and get jealous. If it's a quick and painless death, or a quick death with minimal pain, then I'm always jealous!

Even if it isn't quick with minimal pain, I can still be jealous at the fact that these people don't have to deal with the shit of this world anymore, and are potentially in peace in a better place!

It really is crazy that there are people who love life so much, but are taken out, when they'd never make the choice to die! And then you have people that have thought about death for many years, and are certain that they don't want to be here for whatever reason, BUT for these people, death can be very difficult to achieve!

Strange, strange world that we live in, that can feel extremely cruel and unfair!

 

[Forveleth]

Hell no! Some of those freak accidents are horrible, horrible ways to die. I would much rather wait and to out in a controlled manner.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I always do. Especially when I see someone is dying anf wants to live, I often wish I could charges places with them. I feel selfish thinking like that, but here I can be honest. I just want to go and tired of waiting.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

A few days ago I saw a dog catch a rabbit, then methodically consume it, crunching happily with half-closed eyes. Blood in its mouth and a brief glimpse of what is on the inside of a rabbit. I watched, mesmerized, wishing I could be the rabbit. I was aware that I should have been upset but instead I was overcome with jealousy. Only people here could understand.

 

[xoxo24]

I had a friend that I've known since kindergarten who had my same name, we weren't close, she died two years ago from cancer and i think of her most days and how it should've been me, her mom always hugs me extra tight and she visits me in my dream that same night.

 

[TAW122]

Not really, but there is a part of me that feels like they got 'lucky' and also some relief knowing they aren't suffering anymore.

 

[alt131313]

well I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one

 

[Pale_Rider]

I do kinda note that they were lucky, but I don't over think it either. Doesn't help me one way, or the other. I also note they probably didn't want to go. Tough break.

 

[systratiotes]

The video of the man who barely reacted after hanging or the old lady who drank N and dripping peacefully into sleep.

Lovely to be them.

Can you share the hanging video? I'm trying to prepare myself by watching peaceful ones (see: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/peaceful-hanging-videos.213108/).

 

[unluckysadness]

Oh yes I'm jealous