Different levels of unconsciousness?

[Judy Garland]

What you are describing scares me a lot. The way I cope with this is that I think no matter how I die ("natural" causes, N, or SN), I will experience different levels of consciousness as I die over minutes to hours. Even if I have N at my disposal (which I don't), in my mind I could be in a really anxious/negative state, and that might cause me to have very distressing/uncomfortable/painful experiences while unconscious, just like how physical pain from any method (or from an illness like cancer) could trigger the same.

Having experienced different levels of consciousness in my past, I know that time stops existing at a certain point (just like it sometimes stops existing in dreams), so we can 'feel' a state persist for a very long period of time even if it's just a few seconds. What I take from this is that when I get ready to CTB, I need to make sure I'm in a calm, peaceful state of mind. I also need to learn to deal with pain (physical and emotional) so that I can maintain this peace of mind as my body dies. In a way, I'm "lucky" that I have a chronic illness that lets me experience very significant physical pain occasionally, and recently I've used those opportunities to sit with the pain and learn to maintain a peaceful state of mind while I'm letting it run its course. I think it's good "practice" for CTB or "natural" death.

You said it all perfectly. All of that can and will happen. We will be feeling a lot of stuff as our body dies, whether it be emotional or physical. I'm so afraid.

 

[again]

Eso suena raro... Lo que sí sé es que durante mi último intento aparentemente convulsioné por todo mi apartamento, me desperté con hematoma en todas partes, etc., y no sentí nada...

Which method did you use?

 

[SofterSoftest]

You said it all perfectly. All of that can and will happen. We will be feeling a lot of stuff as our body dies, whether it be emotional or physical. I'm so afraid.

I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I think that sort of fear (or maybe intimidation) is healthy and a good thing, because it'll help you 'prepare' as best as you can. Have you tried meditating? I used to have a daily meditation practice, and that helped me get a bit more comfortable with different levels of consciousness. Another thing I've found helpful is to write down my dreams, right after I have them - over time, this practice helps you become self-aware as you're dreaming, and you're even able to control your dreams, which is (I think) a very useful ability for when your body starts getting ready to die.

All of that being said, I also know the fear is horrible to sit with. Just know that because you have this fear now, you will likely be motivated to take whatever steps you need to get yourself more grounded. Also keep in mind that you will experience these different levels of consciousness no matter how you die, whether by CTB or "naturally." It's an extremely universal experience for all of us humans, as scary as the unknown is.

 

[Judy Garland]

I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I think that sort of fear (or maybe intimidation) is healthy and a good thing, because it'll help you 'prepare' as best as you can. Have you tried meditating? I used to have a daily meditation practice, and that helped me get a bit more comfortable with different levels of consciousness. Another thing I've found helpful is to write down my dreams, right after I have them - over time, this practice helps you become self-aware as you're dreaming, and you're even able to control your dreams, which is (I think) a very useful ability for when your body starts getting ready to die.

All of that being said, I also know the fear is horrible to sit with. Just know that because you have this fear now, you will likely be motivated to take whatever steps you need to get yourself more grounded. Also keep in mind that you will experience these different levels of consciousness no matter how you die, whether by CTB or "naturally." It's an extremely universal experience for all of us humans, as scary as the unknown is.

I used to write down my dreams. I will again, I had no idea that simply writing down my dreams would allow me to control those different states of consciousness. I will begin again, tomorrow morning. I'll just type 'em out. It would be amazing to have some control in my dreams. And yes, this happens with death in general and will happen no matter if I die "naturally" or by hand. Thank you for reminding me. I feel much better.