Discussion Did you have any doubts about your decision?

[nuva]

I was planning to finally "gone" in about a month, when I would be in another city, and I knew that the closer the date would get, the more I would doubt my decision or have mixed emotions about it.
After I decided on a way that was convenient for me, I was haunted by a terrible fear of failure and thoughts: "What if I fail?" I guess this anxiety makes me doubt everything.
Maybe I'm just gradually realizing that it's all coming to an end, and I feel a little sad about it..
And I guess I wrote this post to pour out my thoughts somewhere and just get other answers and read how others feel about their decision, whether you feel anxious or, on the contrary, approaching peace.

P.S: I used a translator, sorry for any mistakes.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

To be honest with you, no I don't doubt my decision. I feel so worthless inside and like there's no place for me in this god forsaken world. As far as I am concerned my life was setup to kill myself and nothing more. I successfully got everything I needed to craft a nitrogen exit bag. I live in an adult group home. Staff never check my closet so I hide the tank in there. Without the supports in place or living in an adult group home, I don't know how I would have survived. Yet everything pushes me further to this decision, and there are no doubts about it. I'm determined to end it.

 

[darksouls]

I feel dreadful
my only wish is to overcome SI and the fear of death

 

[kagebunshin]

When I attempted last year, I never once doubted myself. I set the date three months in advance and was 100% committed the entire time. This time, however, I vacillate. My plans change and things feel less solid. It's annoying. I want to just go already.

 

[kopebaldy]

Nope.

I do more harm alive than dead, both to myself and to everyone else.