Rationally I don't think I deserve to die by suicide. But before almost drinking SN I thought about it. Jonathan Franzen said about David Foster Wallace that he also had similar thoughts before hanged himself. It was something that almost pushed me over the edge despite it is nonsense in my case I think.
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Kind of yeah, but at the same time I'm using it as a method of making me want to do it moreI don't see suicide as a punishment or even something massively unfortunate that happens to someone. It's a choice. Of course, it's sad that a person's life pushes them towards that choice so- maybe it's a tragic reflection of this world. I see it more as a form of release though. Self-deliverance out of this shit show. So in that sense- yeah, I think I've held on long enough- 34 years of varying intensity ideation. I deserve a rest I think.Similar threads
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