Desensitized (gore videos)

[tvo]

Desensitized (gore videos)

So I went to one of those gore websites and watched (on mute) one of the most fucked up graphic execution I have ever seen. My body was shaking (literally) after watching that, then after several hours later I went numb (emotionless), I barely feel anything right now (as I am busy typing these), there's barely any thoughts, especially those ones that have been tormenting me for a while now from my past traumatic experiences. Now I can't help but wonder, did I just use that extremely graphic content to desensitize and numb my psychological pain, the same way I used to do with a blade, did I just self-harm?

Has anyone ever watched those graphic gore videos and just became numb or or does anyone consciously watch those videos to numb the pain (coping mechanism)?

 

[GreenOctober]

Desensitized (gore videos)

So I went to one of those gore websites and watched (on mute) one of the most fucked up graphic execution I have ever seen. My body was shaking (literally) after watching that, then after several hours later I went numb (emotionless), I barely feel anything right now (as I am busy typing these), there's barely any thoughts, especially those ones that have been tormenting me for a while now from my past traumatic experiences. Now I can't help but wonder, did I just use that extremely graphic content to desensitize and numb my psychological pain, the same way I used to do with a blade, did I just self-harm?

Has anyone ever watched those graphic gore videos and just became numb or or does anyone consciously watch those videos to numb the pain (coping mechanism)?

I used to watch it a lot to psyche myself up when thinking about passing. Seeing how cruel the world is you know. But it still isn't as intense as really staring at the end. Videos didn't prepare me for that.

 

[xinino]

No, not numb, I used to watch them if I got bored. I sometimes empathized with the victims, but often I laughed because they presented them in a cynical way, "also because I have ASPD, moral disalignment, and hero worship tendencies for some particular criminals." I stopped watching them because it gave me nausea sensations. I frequently feel disgusted, especially when I see the internal organs.

 

[tvo]

I used to watch it a lot to psyche myself up when thinking about passing. Seeing how cruel the world is you know. But it still isn't as intense as really staring at the end. Videos didn't prepare me for that.

The one I just watched (without any sound, the sounds are more fucked up than visuals), I couldn't go all the way to the end, I tapped out (permanently), I am not watching that gore stuff again. I don't want to go back to cutting myself either. OMFG this reality that we are in right now, human beings.

No, not numb, I used to watch them if I got bored. I sometimes empathized with the victims, but often I laughed because they presented them in a cynical way, "also because I have ASPD, moral disalignment, and hero worship tendencies for some particular criminals." I stopped watching them because it gave me nausea sensations. I frequently feel disgusted, especially when I see the internal organs.

That makes sense

 

[2messdup]

Desensitized (gore videos)

So I went to one of those gore websites and watched (on mute) one of the most fucked up graphic execution I have ever seen. My body was shaking (literally) after watching that, then after several hours later I went numb (emotionless), I barely feel anything right now (as I am busy typing these), there's barely any thoughts, especially those ones that have been tormenting me for a while now from my past traumatic experiences. Now I can't help but wonder, did I just use that extremely graphic content to desensitize and numb my psychological pain, the same way I used to do with a blade, did I just self-harm?

Has anyone ever watched those graphic gore videos and just became numb or or does anyone consciously watch those videos to numb the pain (coping mechanism)?

I definitely seem to watch them at times when I want to burn myself or binge eat or get drunk, so i'm sure I'm doing it partly to self harm,,,, but I also do it to try to desensitise myself sometimes because at the moment I'm too cowardly to ctb.

 

[tvo]

I definitely seem to watch them at times when I want to burn myself or binge eat or get drunk, so i'm sure I'm doing it partly to self harm,,,, but I also do it to try to desensitise myself sometimes because at the moment I'm too cowardly to ctb.

Geez... Me too, jumping or hanging are just too terrifying for me, I wish I had N to O.D