LonelyPrince
Rotten to the Core
- Dec 12, 2025
- 122
Today I went to my psychiatrist
She prescribed me xanax but I've left out the important detail during these sessions that I'm actively doing "half attempts"
The appointment would have lasted so much longer than it did if I would have just told her.
But I couldn't.
It's too shameful to admit out loud these ridiculous self harm attempts.
"Is there anything else you'd like to add or that I should know?"
"Oh yes, days ago I overdosed on paracetamol and suffocated myself with a plastic bag, which I plan to try out again. I also have sources for substances that could kill me in less than 30 minutes and I'm just one click away from purchasing them."
Yeah no I couldn't.
I don't think she would would have prescribed me this med if I had told her all this.
I'm stuck between actually telling her and fully choosing recovery or getting the xanax and overdose with that too.
I know my death will be a suicide, but I was planning for it to be later rather than sooner.
Instead here I am, getting bolder everyday.
It just feels like there isn't much left for me out there. I'm alone, despite people saying I'm not.
She prescribed me xanax but I've left out the important detail during these sessions that I'm actively doing "half attempts"
The appointment would have lasted so much longer than it did if I would have just told her.
But I couldn't.
It's too shameful to admit out loud these ridiculous self harm attempts.
"Is there anything else you'd like to add or that I should know?"
"Oh yes, days ago I overdosed on paracetamol and suffocated myself with a plastic bag, which I plan to try out again. I also have sources for substances that could kill me in less than 30 minutes and I'm just one click away from purchasing them."
Yeah no I couldn't.
I don't think she would would have prescribed me this med if I had told her all this.
I'm stuck between actually telling her and fully choosing recovery or getting the xanax and overdose with that too.
I know my death will be a suicide, but I was planning for it to be later rather than sooner.
Instead here I am, getting bolder everyday.
It just feels like there isn't much left for me out there. I'm alone, despite people saying I'm not.
