Dealing with family members who don't care

[JGT]

How to deal with family members who pretend to care.

Only says hi and bye.

Never looks at me. Responds when I talk to them but never ever talks to me.

They haven't turned up to Christmas events for nearly 10 years.

Never invites out for birthdays. When contacting me, gets someone else to do it on their behalf.

 

[Life_and_Death]

id cut them out of my life. if you dont need me i dont need you type of thing.

this could just be a me thing, my family is more friends then blood

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I just ignore them. Have lots of those.

If they don't care about me, why should I care about them?

 

[JGT]

Yes, and my mother still wants me to make an effort with them. Because of keep the family together thing instead of admitting that they never make an effort with me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yes, and my mother still wants me to make an effort with them. Because of keep the family together thing instead of admitting that they never make an effort with me.

youre you and your mother is her. if your mother wants to continue with them then thats her choice, but you shouldnt be forced to be ignored by youre own family like that

 

[JGT]

My father is gravely ill and won't be around for much longer. Afterwards we have to sort out dividing the assets afterwards with these people that never talk to me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

My father is gravely ill and won't be around for much longer. Afterwards we have to sort out dividing the assets afterwards with these people that never talk to me.

yeah i dont have much in the way of advice for that. i do/will have some pretty cool stuff (a business and god knows what for different crafts from jewelry making to carpentry) depending on when i die and id be shocked if my parents didnt try to swoop in and claim it all. thats fine they can go F themselves. if i die tomorrow my husband knows what to do and if i die after him i plan on having a will. (i should invite them to the will reading and at the end say "and you ____ and ____. to you she left her middle finger. pulls out picture )

 

[JGT]

Thanks for your responses.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Thanks for your responses.

awww youre welcome. i hope i helped a little bit at least

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

Thanks for your responses.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It's unfair that your mom holds you to a different standard than those other members of the family. I believe that if they do not enrich your life then you have a right to keep a distance. Self-care is #1.