Dad found my helium tank and exitbag in my room

[coolbeansniner55]

He found my helium tank and exitbag in my closet in my room, He asked me about it tearfully and said that if I CTB I'm pretty much killing him and that hes waiting me to give him grandchildren and I just replied in my fake happy tone that it was for my friend's bday, not sure if he told my mom, not sure where to store my helium tank now, Im sure I can't store my helium tank somewhere outside because it gets really cold where im at in the winter (as cold as -40 Celsius sometimes)

While apart of me feels like CTB will be so much harder, another part of me feels like even more reinforced to do this, I don't want my parents to worry and spend anymore money on me, I dont want to be a burden to them anymore.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't want my parents to worry and spend anymore money on me, I dont want to be a burden to them anymore.

Given how he reacted when he discovered your suicide equipment you can see that they would much rather you be alive even if you have "problems"?

l understand where you are coming from but surely you can see that killing yourself to spare your parents worry isn't sound reasoning.

Guilting you and pressuring you for children is counterproductive but that's the kind of responses we can expect especially spontaneously.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Can't imagine how your dad bought the idea of your "exit bag" tying in with friend's bday . Helium maybe. But, exit bag? Hmmm.

 

[coolbeansniner55]

l understand where you are coming from but surely you can see that killing yourself to spare your parents worry isn't sound reasoning.

Yeah, I completely understand that isn't sound reasoning l I was lowkey just in a hyper emotional state a bit ago. I'm just coping and finding reasons to CTB even if they are just not rational.

Can't imagine how your dad bought the idea of your "exit bag" tying in with friend's bday . Helium maybe. But, exit bag? Hmmm.

yeah, Im unsure if he saw the exitbag but the exit bag is pretty close to the tank so im assuming he saw it, and im sure he just trying to not assume the absolute worse and take my word for it, I havent really shown any signs of wanting to CTB until I guess now lol

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah, I completely understand that isn't sound reasoning l I was lowkey just in a hyper emotional state a bit ago. I'm just coping and finding reasons to CTB even if they are just not rational.

Well I understand that but you owe it to yourself to approach this decision rationally. No judgment there. It's a touchy subject but all of us here are susceptible to gaps in our thinking. That's why it is important to be vigilant about our thoughts.

What are your reasons to die? Specifically those that aren't concerned with other people as the center.

Do your parents have any notion of your ideation? From his reaction and immediate deduction that stuff had to do with suicide it sounds like they have some.

Is your helium even pure? Normal retail helium is diluted with oxygen.

 

[coolbeansniner55]

Well I understand that but you owe it to yourself to approach this decision rationally. No judgment there. It's a touchy subject but all of us here are susceptible to gaps in our thinking. That's why it is important to be vigilant about our thoughts.

What are your reasons to die? Specifically those that aren't concerned with other people as the center.

Do your parents have any notion of your ideation? From his reaction and immediate deduction that stuff had to do with suicide it sounds like they have some.

Is your helium even pure? Normal retail helium is diluted with oxygen.

I don't really wanna disclose my reasons but its not really centered around other people

As for my parents having any notions of my ideation, I don' think so well I haven't really shown any signs in the past til I guess now, I guess with some life events and circumstances in my life the deduction was made.

As for my helium the tank says 100% helium, I reached out to customer support and they said it was 98% and through my own (not very comprehensive) testing with a o2 detector, it was down to 5-6%, im gonna do more testing to fully verify everything.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't really wanna disclose my reasons but its not really centered around other people

As for my parents having any notions of my ideation, I don' think so well I haven't really shown any signs in the past til I guess now, I guess with some life events and circumstances in my life the deduction was made.

As for my helium the tank says 100% helium, I reached out to customer support and they said it was 98% and through my own (not very comprehensive) testing with a o2 detector, it was down to 5-6%, im gonna do more testing to fully verify everything.

It's understandable you don't want to share your reasons. Just asked in case you wanted to talk about things. I urge reflection in any case.

Do you think your father accepted your explanation? It sounds like you may be in for a certain conversation.

 

[RadioRamen]

Can't imagine how your dad bought the idea of your "exit bag" tying in with friend's bday . Helium maybe. But, exit bag? Hmmm.

Honestly till I found this site I never heard of an exit bag , wouldn't been able to identify one either and I'm in my 40s

 

[coolbeansniner55]

Do you think your father accepted your explanation? It sounds like you may be in for a certain conversation.

Not sure he just kinda left it there, I said my buddy's bday is this Saturday so i gotta get rid of it this/hide it week when i go out with my buddy's. Im planning on buying a new tank for the actual attempt, this was just the *"test/practice" tank

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Honestly till I found this site I never heard of an exit bag , wouldn't been able to identify one either and I'm in my 40s

Yeah, that's a good thought. Good point. Idk, still I *think* I'd be able to tell if something my kid had seemed out of place, or didn't look right. But, thinking about what you said, I can't say, either, that I knew what an exit bag was before coming here. I don't know if it would look like something to me that my kid shouldn't have, not knowing what it was.