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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
Sadly my time has come, I gave life many chances but alas it seems that their calling me home. Nothing has gotten better and things are about to get a lot worse so I have to CTB before. Please help

Any advice would be appreciated please I am leaving in 2 days. It was all so unexpected so I Hate how all this has to be last minute. I thought I had more time.

I have attached my questions at the end of the post. Thank You

So a couple of important things I'd like to mention again.
-I am autistic and have sensory issues meaning I vomit easily.
-I also already have heart issues with tachycardia so i will be using propranolol
-I gained some weight to almost 140lbs recently and it fluctuates but currently I weigh 135lbs I feel that 25g might be a bit too much? So I'm thinking of sticking to 20g as I consider myself an average size? I need more water so 100mL for me

I am not to sure about the 48hr regimen since just like others mentioned it seems like an overkill but it may reduce the amount of vomiting so I mentioned it. BUT I don't see the 48hr regimen in the ppeh like vizzy said it was in his SN bible? On the contrary taking too much medication can also cause stomach discomfort leading to vomiting so not really sure.

Draft Plan:
Stat

Day of:
Benzos throughout the day to remain calm

Last meal at 3

Last snack by 6pm: only water after

Stop water at 11PM

12:00AM: prop 200mg or less maybe 100? and 600mg of ibuprofen or acetaminophen (prepare two SN drinks)

12:20AM: 30mg Meto (maybe more?)

12:40AM: .5mgx5= 2.5mg klonopin maybe a little more depending on how I am feeling?
(Or maybe should I take the klonopin with the SN so I don't fall asleep/pass out in those 20 mins before taking the SN?)

Maybe orajel?

1AM: Drink SN- cookie for taste if no orajel


-48 Hour regimen

Day before

Every 8 hours meto

Around 9AM 10mg meto

Around 5pm 10 mg meto

Around 1am 10 mg meto



Day 2 Final (repeat of stat but with meto inclusions)

Around 9AM 10mg meto

Benzos throughout the day to remain calm

Last meal at 3

Around 5pm 10 mg meto

Last snack by 6pm: only water after


Stop water at 11PM


12:00AM: prop 200mg or less? and 600mg of ibuprofen or acetaminophen (prepare two SN drinks)

12:20AM: 30mg Meto

12:40AM: .5mgx5= 2.5mg klonopin maybe a little more depending on how I am feeling?

(Or maybe should I take the klonopin with the SN so I don't fall asleep/pass out in those 20 mins before taking the SN?)

Maybe orajel?

1AM: Drink SN- cookie for taste if no orajel

QUESTIONS:
-What do you think about the 48 regimen?
-What do you think about all the medicines and the dosages? There is no pain killers/ibuprofen recommended in the ppeh
-I have 4x strength of oragel, should I use it? When should I use it?
-Using a syringe or just taking it as a shot? Whenever I take normal alcohols shots it taste disgusting. Maybe a syringe to avoid the tongue.
-Is 20g enough for my weight? I feel 25 may be too much
-I want to make 2 glasses of SN but I don't want them to find the glasses I want it to be seen as a natural death as much as I can so if the first one works then the 2nd one would be used as evidence for suicide
But then if I make only one glass, not sure if I will be conscious enough to prepare/stir/dissolve the second glass. After drinking the first one I would have to hide it somewhere so it isn't found.
-I'm thinking of keeping my door locked so no one comes in and interrupts me unless I make sounds. But then that means my family/police will have to break the door open when I don't respond plus suspicious that my cat is not in my room since he sleeps with me every night. If I keep the door unlocked then they might not even notice that I am gone/just sleeping/let my cats in but would obviously be suspicious and find out anyways.
-Laying on your right side for faster absorption?
-If I throw up the first one, I take the 2nd one? But only a lot right? if it's only a little bit then it's fine? and if I also vomit the 2nd one, then it should be aborted?
 
Last edited:
S

SaltySuh

Member
Aug 12, 2023
73
Don't inject alcohol. It burns going through your veins.
 
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
Have you tried the medications before to make sure there are no unwanted side effects? That can help you decide what to take and when, and knowing how they affect you. Benzos would be best before SN so they have time to work. Some experimentation before ctb would be useful to know what amount makes you relaxed/sleepy and how long it takes. No one can tell you how these meds will affect you. It sounds like you need more time before CTB to work out these questions.

I don't think your fast is long enough, I would give at least 8 hours for fasting so skip the snack and have your last meal earlier, especially since you said you're prone to vomiting and nausea. The less in the stomach the better. Don't eat a cookie after the SN either, that will increase nausea and vomiting and break the fast. Maybe a tiny altoid mint instead? I'm going to use a straw to suck down my SN drink to help with the taste and drink it faster.

I think 20 grams is fine. 25 is overkill IMO.

Hiding the glasses won't obscure the cause of your death unfortunately. Sn poisoning causes cyanosis and will be detected by the coroner. It's not something you can hide.

I hope this was somewhat helpful. I would encourage you to take some more time for research and medication trials before CTB to raise your chance of success. Good luck. I will be doing my sn journey very soon also, in a little over a week.
 
Aisley

Aisley

Wizard
Mar 12, 2023
627
Vizzy ended up going out with the hood, so take his sn bible with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry this is feeling rushed for you. It really fucks everything up, doesn't it? Like, even the thought process that's trying to put all this together. i'm sorry. I hate the all too familiar feeling of circumstances beyond my control.

A second glass is the only way to go, so long as you have enough product. Label it somehow so it's obvious what it is.

Orajel doesn't kill taste.

Your cat will most likely make this as inconvenient as possible for you, and scratch at your door all night. They never do what we want them to... Where you go from there, I don't know. Let him in so he can deal with all this? Or leave him in the hall to yowl at your door. Maybe some catnip to keep him busy? I really don't know, just preparing you for his meddling.

Good luck. And again, sorry life took control of your plans.
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
Don't inject alcohol. It burns going through your veins.
The syringe is a droplet and is for your mouth not veins
Have you tried the medications before to make sure there are no unwanted side effects? That can help you decide what to take and when, and knowing how they affect you. Benzos would be best before SN so they have time to work. Some experimentation before ctb would be useful to know what amount makes you relaxed/sleepy and how long it takes. No one can tell you how these meds will affect you. It sounds like you need more time before CTB to work out these questions.

I don't think your fast is long enough, I would give at least 8 hours for fasting so skip the snack and have your last meal earlier, especially since you said you're prone to vomiting and nausea. The less in the stomach the better. Don't eat a cookie after the SN either, that will increase nausea and vomiting and break the fast. Maybe a tiny altoid mint instead? I'm going to use a straw to suck down my SN drink to help with the taste and drink it faster.

I think 20 grams is fine. 25 is overkill IMO.

Hiding the glasses won't obscure the cause of your death unfortunately. Sn poisoning causes cyanosis and will be detected by the coroner. It's not something you can hide.

I hope this was somewhat helpful. I would encourage you to take some more time for research and medication trials before CTB to raise your chance of success. Good luck. I will be doing my sn journey very soon also, in a little over a week.
Yes I have tried these medications before and tested them. They are fine. and Yes the snack part I miscalculated, I'll have it earlier or just the meal at 3 pm which It would probably take me 1 hour to eat meaning my fast will begin at 4 which is 9 hours of fasting till SN. Or I'm thinkin of doing it earlier even maybe at 1- 2 so I can just get it out the way, and my body feels very full for HOURS after eating so yeah most likely earlier the point is atleast 8 hours of fast right?

I've been on SS for a bit over a year now and have seen lots of SN cases of people eating things after for the taste. A small cookie should be ok to get the taste out since the taste will also cause the vomiting.

The most I could do is wait another week because this was VERY unexpected but it's REALLY pushing it. I really wanted to go out in peace and take my time with all the preparations and not in an anxiety rush.


Yes I'm either thinking a straw or syringe droplet. I think I'm gonna make a glass of salt water and with the same concentration as SN and try different ways to ingest it. Do you think Maybe a straw under the tongue an sides of the mouth avoiding the tongue? That's how I used to drink alcohol sometimes to avoid the taste and it worked greatly.

And well my point is I don't want it to LOOK like a CTB at the scene so I want to hide the glasses or any physical evidence incase I do survive and they start questioning if it was ctb. I want it to look like it natural as possible. I know my skin will be blue which can just indicate something happen to me and my family can then find out during an autopsy, that I don't care about much. Because if they find my SN glasses they'll instantly know it was CTB and I want them to speculate and wonder. and then they will finally come to a conclusion. So still not sure about the 2nd glass.


Vizzy ended up going out with the hood, so take his sn bible with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry this is feeling rushed for you. It really fucks everything up, doesn't it? Like, even the thought process that's trying to put all this together. i'm sorry. I hate the all too familiar feeling of circumstances beyond my control.

A second glass is the only way to go, so long as you have enough product. Label it somehow so it's obvious what it is.

Orajel doesn't kill taste.

Your cat will most likely make this as inconvenient as possible for you, and scratch at your door all night. They never do what we want them to... Where you go from there, I don't know. Let him in so he can deal with all this? Or leave him in the hall to yowl at your door. Maybe some catnip to keep him busy? I really don't know, just preparing you for his meddling.

Good luck. And again, sorry life took control of your plans.
Hi thanks for your words it really does suck the most I can do is extend another week which is really pushing it.

Vizzy started the SN though right? and then I guess something happen/went wrong or he couldn't take the palpitations maybe because he was speaking about that before and maybe vomited? So he went through with the hood.

I have more than enough SN product

Orajel won't help with the taste? even if i put it on my tongue?

My cat will be in his cage outside in the living room over the night so not worried about that. I do have another cat but he won't be a problem. You never want to CTB infront of your pets because they will try to eat your body. I think I'll have to lock my door for sure so if my family gets suspicious on why my cat is not in my room.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
@dimstar any advice would be appreciated
I'm really scared guys but also unusually calm. I'm having bits of panic which is normal but then I get numb, this is coming so fast and unexpected and I keep falling asleep at night even though I am meant to stay awake at night to do my preparations but the body is tired. I won't get to watch my last minute shows/movies, spend as much time with my soulmate cats. I feel too rushed. I wanted to go in peace.
 
Last edited:
Dying Knight

Dying Knight

-
Sep 17, 2023
329
-I'm thinking of keeping my door locked so no one comes in and interrupts me unless I make sounds.
In case if you vomit, it's unlikely that you could do it quietly enough, especially in the silence that may take place after 12:00 AM.
 
Next

Next

Member
Jul 13, 2023
54
I whish you all the best on your way. We will miss your beautyfull picture and your nice posts.
 
S

soleil

…
Apr 28, 2023
156
You should try miracle berries to help with salty taste instead of a cookie. I've never used it but I've heard it works.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
In case if you vomit, it's unlikely that you could do it quietly enough, especially in the silence that may take place after 12:00 AM.
That's Definity the plan I have, I'm gonna have sounds in the background and I'll have a bucket next to me and try to vomit as quietly, not sure what other sounds of groaning and what not may come out but yes
I whish you all the best on your way. We will miss your beautyfull picture and your nice posts.
Thank you! I'm trying my best to push it to next week but if I can't monday is the day
You should try miracle berries to help with salty taste instead of a cookie. I've never used it but I've heard it works.
Aw man I wish I had the time to research and buy it. ironically I love salty taste but this is obviously gonna be disgusting. I'm gonna try the syringe, straw, and orajel strategies now with salt water and see how it goes. I'll post updates here
I hope everything works out. goodluck
Thank you:heart: I'll post updates here
 
Last edited:
Dying Knight

Dying Knight

-
Sep 17, 2023
329
That's Definity the plan I have, I'm gonna have sounds in the background and I'll have a bucket next to me and try to vomit as quietly, not sure what other sounds of groaning and what not may come out but yes
I had an "opportunity" to hear someone's puking inside other apartment, I'd say that it's damn loud. Doing it quietly is barely possible due to a specific reflex cough. You should have a good plan how to avoid a needless attention of others in such a situation.
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
I had an "opportunity" to hear someone's puking inside other apartment, I'd say that it's damn loud. Doing it quietly is barely possible due to a specific reflex cough. You should have a good plan how to avoid a needless attention of others in such a situation
Yeah I've puked many times before and some were rather really loud and some quieter but obviously not elegant quiet I have some a loud fan and air purifier in my room but if I put on the tv then they might ask me to turn it down and interrupt/find me/catch me
 
X

x0nSS

Member
Aug 11, 2023
37
Strength in your decision. Failing was terrible for me so good luck on success.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
It sounds like you need more time before CTB to work out these questions.
Hey guys

UPDATE:

I bought some more time. I kept falling asleep at night when I was suppose to stay awake and prepare everything but my body got tired especially with the benzos to help relax me because of my panic attacks and on top of that depression just makes you wanna sleep. I live with an abusive family and an incident occurred out of nowhere where I have never been so insulted and degraded in my life by someone in my family, he went way beyond the limits and crossed the fucking line and I finally cracked and acted out of impulsive where I had enough, the last straw so It forced me to accelerate my plans also because things are about to get a lot worse.. ( I should have just fucking CTBed a while ago) I felt horrible that I am forced to leave so soon I wasn't expecting it and I'm not fully prepared, I was rushed I didn't get to fully have my final moments with my cats and have my peaceful routine that I planned, instead I woke up this morning realized I fell asleep wasted time and had a huge panic attack and started crying and then after talking to my family in the morning a little bit about buying time, the benzos made me so drowsy THAT I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN AND WASTED THE WHOLE DAY WHEN I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE! I was so ashamed.........so I JUST NOW got final confirmation at night that I can extend my time because I WAS NOT READY. I feel much more relieved BUT I still cannot waste time, I have to prepare now.

If anyone else can please help or give any input in my final SN routine. So far I think it's decent. I'm gonna do the different ways to ingest SN experiment now and let you guys know how it went
 
Last edited:
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
Hey guys

UPDATE:

I bought some more time. I kept falling asleep at night when I was suppose to stay awake and prepare everything but my body got tired especially with the benzos to help relax me because of my panic attacks and on top of that depression just makes you wanna sleep. I live with an abusive family and an incident occurred out of nowhere where I have never been so insulted and degraded in my life by someone in my family, he went way beyond he limits and crossed the fucking line and I finally cracked and acted out of impulsive where I had enough, the last straw so It forced me to accelerate my plans also because things are about to get a lot worse.. ( I should have just fucking CTBed a while ago) I felt horrible that I am forced to leave so soon I wasn't expecting it and I'm not fully prepared, I was rushed I didn't get to fully have my final moments with my cats and have my peaceful routine that I planned, instead I woke up this morning realized I fell asleep wasted time and had a huge panic attack and started crying and then after talking to my family in the morning a little bit about buying time, the benzos made me so drowsy THAT I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN AND WASTED THE WHOLE DAY WHEN I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE! I was so ashamed.........so I JUST NOW got final confirmation at night that I can extend my time because I WAS NOT READY. I feel much more relieved BUT I still cannot waste time, I have to prepare now.

If anyone else can please help or give any input in my final SN routine. So far I think it's decent. I'm gonna do the different ways to ingest SN experiment now and let you guys know how it went
I'm so sorry your family is abusive and hurting you in that way. That's terrible. It's ok that you slept, I hope you dont feel much shame over that, sleep is important and you need rest especially when suffering so much it's a nice escape. You deserve to have the time you want with your cats and to feel some peace before you go. I hope you can get that and don't feel rushed although I don't know the circumstances that make you feel rushed.

have you tested your SN? Other then potentially that it sounds like you're good to go. I'm doing SN very soon also. The preparation has been very emotionally taxing so I understand how hard it is.
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
I'm so sorry your family is abusive and hurting you in that way. That's terrible. It's ok that you slept, I hope you dont feel much shame over that, sleep is important and you need rest especially when suffering so much it's a nice escape. You deserve to have the time you want with your cats and to feel some peace before you go. I hope you can get that and don't feel rushed although I don't know the circumstances that make you feel rushed.

have you tested your SN? Other then potentially that it sounds like you're good to go. I'm doing SN very soon also. The preparation has been very emotionally taxing so I understand how hard it is.
Thank You for your kind words. I haven't tested my SN. I have been on SS for a while and got mine from a reputable company that everyone was using back then. I think I could trust it. I've had it for a year and haven't even opened it yet.
 
Last edited:
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod
Jun 5, 2023
3,144
Thank You for your kind words. I haven't tested my SN. I have been on SS for a while and got mine from a reputable company that everyone was using back then. I think I could trust it. I've had it for a year and haven't even opened it yet.
I remember your posts a while back on the podcasts from the peaceful pill specifically about SN, I wish you all the best your plans and honestly, your plans seem quite good and well organized, keep in mind that people have ctb with less.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
I remember your posts a while back on the podcasts from the peaceful pill specifically about SN, I wish you all the best your plans and honestly, your plans seem quite good and well organized, keep in mind that people have ctb with less.
Thank you so much. I had that exact thought where people have CTBed with less. I just hope I don't fail.
 
Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod
Jun 5, 2023
3,144
Thank you so much. I had that exact thought where people have CTBed with less. I just hope I don't fail.
That's the thing with us all when the preparation is done, the very last thing we want is failure so I 10000% feel you there. People have done it with less and done it without everything ready to use like benzos for example and had the same concerns too. At the end of the day, it's a big risk and the only end result should be to ctb, well it definitely is in my case.
 
outlook56

outlook56

.
Sep 24, 2023
87
You are one of the old members of the forum. I saw your topic and I may see the reason. I feel a little sad for no reason and I wish you a happy journey.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
UPDATE:
Disclaimer: I have a very small mouth
I dissolved 20g of salt (Used Himalayan pink salt since I ran out of regular salt) into 100mL of water and wow it is actually quite a lot to drink. I had a couple tools with me, a thick straw, skinny straw, syringe, dropper, and orajel.

Now Mind you ingesting this much salt is not good so I obviously couldn't drink the entire thing. I brushed my teeth before hand.
So first I took a sip to see how it would taste and yeah it was fucking disgusting......like repulsive. I am assuming that is what SN tastes like where people have described it as ocean water and yeah it definitely was that.
So I tried the bigger straw and it was difficult to fit in the corner of the back of my mouth and suck on it. So I tried the skinny straw at the same spot and better but I could still easily taste it and it was only sucking in a tiny bits at a time so for me personally I don't think drinking from a straw would make it faster. I tried the syringe also at the back of my mouth and it was faster but I could still easily taste it.

So I said fuck it and took a small gulp and that was the best one so far. it was quick and I couldn't taste it as much so that's interesting because I thought that would be the worst approach since when I take alcoholic shots I could easily taste it. I had to take a break because that was too much salt and I still had a quite a bit to go. Ofcourse I wretched and gagged throughout and felt nauseous. Oh and after every sip I had to drink water to get the taste out of my mouth. I need water I can't do it without.

I'm gonna try the oragel later and try to experiment more with it but so far there is NO WAY I will be able to drink it in one shot, I would have to take sips or take small gulps. Should I put the oragel all in my mouth, on the tongue etc?
You are one of the old members of the forum. I saw your topic and I may see the reason. I feel a little sad for no reason and I wish you a happy journey.
Thank you. I see that you are new. I hope that you find peace as well.
 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod
Jun 5, 2023
3,144
I'm gonna try the oragel later and try to experiment more with it but so far there is NO WAY I will be able to drink it in one shot, I would have to sips or take small gulps. Should I put the oragel all in my mouth, on the tongue etc?
I'd say why not, anything to help numb the taste of it because for many, I'd argue the taste alone is a reason why they also vomit.
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
I'd say why not, anything to help numb the taste of it because for many, I'd argue the taste alone is a reason why they also vomit.
Absolutely. I felt nauseous afterwards so rn I am trying to stabilize myself but I will definitely try again and update here. Is SN also your method?
 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod
Jun 5, 2023
3,144
Absolutely. I felt nauseous afterwards so rn I am trying to stabilize myself but I will definitely try again and update here. Is SN also you method?
Indeed it is, it's been my method after I found I could gain access to it and evaluated it as a good alternative to hanging.
 
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outlook56

outlook56

.
Sep 24, 2023
87
Absolutely. I felt nauseous afterwards so rn I am trying to stabilize myself but I will definitely try again and update here. Is SN also your method?
I once drank 50 ml of hand sanitizer and added salt to it as well. I was just covering my nose so as not to smell it, and after drinking it I rubbed my tongue with the toothpaste a little. Alcohol wipe also help with vomiting symptoms + (Psychological preparation is also important and lie on the right side)
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
I once drank 50 ml of hand sanitizer and added salt to it as well. I was just covering my nose so as not to smell it, and after drinking it I rubbed my tongue with the toothpaste a little. Alcohol wipe also help with vomiting symptoms + (Psychological preparation is also important and lie on the right side)
wow that's interesting. Why did you try hand sanitizer? as a way to CTB?
 
outlook56

outlook56

.
Sep 24, 2023
87
wow that's interesting. Why did you try hand sanitizer? as a way to CTB?
Alcohol is Not available for me. I am over 21. It was a really stupid attempt. I discussed the issue of vomiting with many people in the beginning. The taste or/ psychological fear may be the cause of vomiting in the first 5 minutes. After five minutes, the cause of vomiting is not psychological or as a bad taste. It is because the body has discovered poison and must be expelled (if your stomach is normal and empty, the water will be absorbed scientifically in the stomach within 5 minutes 25ŮŞ of water ). Any person will keep the substance in his stomach.Between 5 to 8 minutes, it will be at least 25 percent absorbed. After the 11th minute, more than half will be absorbed (which is enough). I think if the vomit is held for five or six minutes, it will be fatal.

 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
800
Alcohol is Not available for me. I am over 21. It was a really stupid attempt. I discussed the issue of vomiting with many people in the beginning. The taste or/ psychological fear may be the cause of vomiting in the first 5 minutes. After five minutes, the cause of vomiting is not psychological or as a bad taste. It is because the body has discovered poison and must be expelled (if your stomach is normal and empty, the water will be absorbed scientifically in the stomach within 5 minutes 25ŮŞ of water ). Any person will keep the substance in his stomach.Between 5 to 8 minutes, it will be at least 25 percent absorbed. After the 11th minute, more than half will be absorbed (which is enough). I think if the vomit is held for five or six minutes, it will be fatal.

AH interesting. So far I didn't throw up. I had some chocolate afterwards which I think made it worse because honestly it was after eating the chocolate I felt really nauseous but then I researched ways to stabilize salt and ate a carrot and now I feel better.
 
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