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needed_

needed_

waiting for a miracle
Dec 17, 2021
804
Well it did wonders to calm me down. But I'm still kinda scared as the time approaches. Obviously it's kinda the fear of the unknown. How painful it could be etc
maybe there's something calming you can think of if the pain starts? your favourite memory or fantasy?
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
maybe there's something calming you can think of if the pain starts? your favourite memory or fantasy?
I'll try and watch something or talk to someone
 
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needed_

needed_

waiting for a miracle
Dec 17, 2021
804
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Took my second dose of propranolol right now. Paracetamol in half an hour.
 
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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,257
U stck up 4 slf @ lst twce in thrds & wll alwys b gr8fl 4 tht
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
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LastLoveLetter

LastLoveLetter

Persephone
Mar 28, 2021
654
I didn't get a chance to know you but I have seen several of your articulate posts and always liked to read them. You come across as honest, outspoken and passionate, and unafraid to speak up against injustice and stand up for others. I really admire that. The world needs more people like that - people who have the ability and the desire to take a stand, people who are willing to defend others, people who will speak out even if it results in consequences and ruffling some feathers. Thank you for the impact you made here in so little time.

I am so sad and so sorry that your suffering has brought you to this point. You didn't deserve this.

As I always say, there is no shame in postponing your plans or changing your mind. Death isn't going anywhere. However, I respect your choice, whatever happens. If you do proceed with your plans, I truly hope you find the peace you deserve. :heart:
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
I didn't get a chance to know you but I have seen several of your articulate posts and always liked to read them. You come across as honest, outspoken and passionate, and unafraid to speak up against injustice and stand up for others. I really admire that. The world needs more people like that - people who have the ability and the desire to take a stand, people who are willing to defend others, people who will speak out even if it results in consequences and ruffling some feathers. Thank you for the impact you made here in so little time.

I am so sad and so sorry that your suffering has brought you to this point. You didn't deserve this.

As I always say, there is no shame in postponing your plans or changing your mind. Death isn't going anywhere. However, I respect your choice, whatever happens. If you do proceed with your plans, I truly hope you find the peace you deserve. :heart:
This has to be the sweetest message. Thank you so so much for your kind words. Please take care.
 
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S

Someoneone

Member
Dec 15, 2021
10
Wish you have peace experience and journey. In 2 - 3 months, it maybe my SN turn too.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Hi update: I've done my entire routine. The only thing left is to take the sn mixed with propranolol. Fifteen minutes to go.
 
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little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
518
There's other types of love. I'm trying too though I think I might ctb too.

although sometimes people try too hard and then ctb. baby steps. there's no shame taking baby steps, that is, if you want it.

sending love.
 
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Rayzieka

Rayzieka

Not Really Here
Apr 28, 2021
637
Sending love <3
 
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dustbiter

dustbiter

hewwo one and all :3
Nov 24, 2021
91
;~;/ i wish you peace!!
 
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S

sadpinky

Stargazer
Jun 10, 2021
202
Still with us?
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Guys I'm kinda scared...
I have the glass in my hand but i can't bring myself to drink
 
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dustbiter

dustbiter

hewwo one and all :3
Nov 24, 2021
91
Guys I'm kinda scared...
I have the glass in my hand but i can't bring myself to drink
its ok, deep breaths, whatever you decide, we are here with you ;~;/ youre not alone no matter what choice, ok?
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
See that's the problem. It's tough. I really can't do it. I want love so fucking badly i can't-

UPDATE: took my first dose of beta blocker just now
Not trying to change your mind but I don't think love is impossible at all for you. Only because I know plenty of people with BPD that are in happy relationships that they've never complained about. It's awfully hard ngl so I respect your personal decision.

I'm worried whether the drugs affect feelings to whether or not someone really wants to ctb. I suffer from awful anxiety myself (another cause that needs looking into) and those beta-blockers sound like something I should look into!
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
Guys I'm kinda scared...
Take slow deep breaths and it's ok to bail or call for help. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find peace either way.
 
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Elri

Elri

Student
Dec 2, 2021
180
Tell yourself right now "i don't have to do this and no one's expecting me to do this now" and listen to your heart ily you're not alone pls take a deep breath call help if you can't do this alone, everybody loves you
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
Guys I'm kinda scared...
I have the glass in my hand but i can't bring myself to drink
I'd be scared too. You can always delay the whole thing❤️
 
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B

Bleak

Student
Nov 10, 2021
178
Guys I'm kinda scared...
I have the glass in my hand but i can't bring myself to drink
I had the glass in my hand too and had taken regimen but I couldn't do it. There's nothing wrong with stopping now if you're unsure. I've only been a member here a short time but I appreciate your posts and viewpoints.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
I'm sorry I'm shit scared i can't do this...
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
Not trying to change your mind but I don't think love is impossible at all for you. Only because I know plenty of people with BPD that are in happy relationships that they've never complained about. It's awfully hard ngl so I respect your personal decision.

I'm worried whether the drugs affect feelings to whether or not someone really wants to ctb. I suffer from awful anxiety myself (another cause that needs looking into) and those beta-blockers sound like something I should look into!
Can't argue with that^
BPD is a royal and worst pain in the butt, but my partner has been around and he promised not to leave, so it's possible. It's been 3 years with him. I'm the one having issues, he doesn't think my BPD makes me a bad girlfriend. He learned to ignore the outbreaks.
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
I'm sorry I'm shit scared i can't do this...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with delaying it or putting it aside for now you'll know when the time is right *hugs*
 
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Elri

Elri

Student
Dec 2, 2021
180
Throw it away and go eat something, you don't want to do this now , uncertainty always brings regret, you have planty other time
 
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LastLoveLetter

LastLoveLetter

Persephone
Mar 28, 2021
654
I'm sorry I'm shit scared i can't do this...
That's okay. You have nothing to apologise for - you have done nothing wrong. That must have been so difficult and frightening for you. I'm sorry you went through this. We are here for you.
 
Last edited:
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
There's nothing wrong with delaying it!
 
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