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銉兂銇曘倱

銉兂銇曘倱

Rina 鈥 she/her, lesbian
Sep 9, 2023
323
It's okay! I'm not ctb because of pain or the ugly parts of life, it's just something I believe it has to be done, it's all about my creed, an existential factor.

But thank you so much for your empathy and caring words! 馃
Sorry to pry into the convo, but I'm happy to see someone who also desires to ctb due to their beliefs and outlook on life and death. Even if we might have different views and understanding of it (which is totally fine). It's admirable that you follow your heart on such serious matters.

To me, death is just as captivating and beautiful as life itself. It's not the end, but the beginning. There's no need to fear it or criticize it. I'm looking forward to my own departure, once I'm done with everything I need to do in this life.

My heart aches for those who resort to suicide out of pain and hopelessness. I wish our world was kinder. I sympathize heavily with those who suffer, and know how it feels to suffer myself. I just wish it could be better for all of us on here.

Thank you for staying here and sharing your thoughts and experiences with all of us.
 
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thebookofdisquiet.

thebookofdisquiet.

Student
Sep 9, 2023
188
Sorry to pry into the convo, but I'm happy to see someone who also desires to ctb due to their beliefs and outlook on life and death. Even if we might have different views and understanding of it (which is totally fine). It's admirable that you follow your heart on such serious matters.

To me, death is just as captivating and beautiful as life itself. It's not the end, but the beginning. There's no need to fear it or criticize it. I'm looking forward to my own departure, once I'm done with everything I need to do in this life.

My heart aches for those who resort to suicide out of pain and hopelessness. I wish our world was kinder. I sympathize heavily with those who suffer, and know how it feels to suffer myself. I just wish it could be better for all of us on here.

Thank you for staying here and sharing your thoughts and experiences with all of us.
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here even though I believe that every wish to ctb is equally valid, everyone else has lots of problems and sad reasons to die while I'm motivated by spiritual and philosophical questions, so thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone!!

If you feel comfortable, please tell me more about how you view death as a beginning, I'd love to read about your beliefs!
 
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銉兂銇曘倱

銉兂銇曘倱

Rina 鈥 she/her, lesbian
Sep 9, 2023
323
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here even though I believe that every wish to ctb is equally valid, everyone else has lots of problems and sad reasons to die while I'm motivated by spiritual and philosophical questions, so thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone!!

If you feel comfortable, please tell me more about how you view death as a beginning, I'd love to read about your beliefs!
I understand your feelings regarding that, and feel very similar. It's almost guilt. Like I'm not suffering enough to think about suicide. I realize that it's just in my head, and SS welcomes anyone who wants to have conversations surrounding CTB without fear of censorship, but it still feels wrong sometimes.

It's a bit difficult to find correct words while trying to describe something as abstract as death, though my beliefs aren't exactly new or complicated. It's more of me simply accepting death as an integral part of life, the next step in the endless journey of existence. Doing what I feel like I was meant to do in this life, embracing it, then moving on to my next destination, when I feel like the timing is correct. I always knew I would be the one to take my own life, it's something natural. I don't exactly believe in reincarnation per se, but judging by my own premonition, it's as close as it gets.

It's not nearly as in depth as your beliefs must be, it's just鈥 a concept I live and function by, I guess.

Anyway, if you feel like sharing, it would be amazing to hear your point of view on all of this! Life, death, and perhaps beyond.
 
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thebookofdisquiet.

thebookofdisquiet.

Student
Sep 9, 2023
188
I understand your feelings regarding that, and feel very similar. It's almost guilt. Like I'm not suffering enough to think about suicide. I realize that it's just in my head, and SS welcomes anyone who wants to have conversations surrounding CTB without fear of censorship, but it still feels wrong sometimes.

It's a bit difficult to find correct words while trying to describe something as abstract as death, though my beliefs aren't exactly new or complicated. It's more of me simply accepting death as an integral part of life, the next step in the endless journey of existence. Doing what I feel like I was meant to do in this life, embracing it, then moving on to my next destination, when I feel like the timing is correct. I always knew I would be the one to take my own life, it's something natural. I don't exactly believe in reincarnation per se, but judging by my own premonition, it's as close as it gets.

It's not nearly as in depth as your beliefs must be, it's just鈥 a concept I live and function by, I guess.

Anyway, if you feel like sharing, it would be amazing to hear your point of view on all of this! Life, death, and perhaps beyond.
I agree, death is not an enemy that needs to be feared.
So you believe in predestination?

I commented about my beliefs here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...eflection-on-schopenhauer.131970/post-2148601

But feel free to ask anything about it, there's nothing that I love more than answering questions haha!
 
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銉兂銇曘倱

銉兂銇曘倱

Rina 鈥 she/her, lesbian
Sep 9, 2023
323
I agree, death is not an enemy that needs to be feared.
So you believe in predestination?

I commented about my beliefs here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...eflection-on-schopenhauer.131970/post-2148601

But feel free to ask anything about it, there's nothing that I love more than answering questions haha!
Read up on your linked post, seems very intricate and extremely interesting. I'm intrigued! I can definitely see logic in your thinking. Thank you for sharing your perspective <3

I wouldn't say I believe in complete predestination. Sometimes it can definitely feel like it, but I'm not entirely sold on the idea. I'm still on my journey to discovering what I truly believe - which is also one reason why I'm still in this world.

It's people and conversations like you which help me discover new ideas and enhance my understanding. Thank you.
 
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swagattack

swagattack

Member
Sep 12, 2023
16
I wish you the best of luck
 
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thebookofdisquiet.

thebookofdisquiet.

Student
Sep 9, 2023
188
Bad news: all the restlessness made my gastritis flare up.

I'm going to start taking famotidine now to see if it helps a little bit because oh boy, I'm burning up inside.
 
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Agon321

Agon321

I use google translate
Aug 21, 2023
902
Bad news: all the restlessness made my gastritis flare up.

I'm going to start taking famotidine now to see if it helps a little bit because oh boy, I'm burning up inside.
This was to be expected. We are machines created in such a way that even the slightest pain will try to dissuade you from your ctb decision. Your brain will convince you in every possible way that you shouldn't do it. Unfortunately, this is hard to beat.
 
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thebookofdisquiet.

thebookofdisquiet.

Student
Sep 9, 2023
188
This was to be expected. We are machines created in such a way that even the slightest pain will try to dissuade you from your ctb decision. Your brain will convince you in every possible way that you shouldn't do it. Unfortunately, this is hard to beat.
It's so frustrating but I'll have to endure the literal rubbing salt in the wound because I refuse to postpone this.
 
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not_telling

not_telling

Scared
Sep 9, 2023
90
It feels very good to understand a little better about your reasons and beliefs OP, really it just gives the whole thing a better perspective. I hope thing keep going as planned, and that your truth is as peaceful as it sounds. Really, it's a very interesting point of view. And the thing with the mom, I just can't seem to understand how they do it! I think it's not always your mom either, but it's like someone is linked to you or someone else so deeply that this kind of thing just happens! My sister hasn't failed to notice a single time I was feeling at my worst, and it really scares me. Anyway, best of luck! I'll make sure to keep up with the thread.
 
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thebookofdisquiet.

thebookofdisquiet.

Student
Sep 9, 2023
188
It feels very good to understand a little better about your reasons and beliefs OP, really it just gives the whole thing a better perspective. I hope thing keep going as planned, and that your truth is as peaceful as it sounds. Really, it's a very interesting point of view. And the thing with the mom, I just can't seem to understand how they do it! I think it's not always your mom either, but it's like someone is linked to you or someone else so deeply that this kind of thing just happens! My sister hasn't failed to notice a single time I was feeling at my worst, and it really scares me. Anyway, best of luck! I'll make sure to keep up with the thread.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my beliefs! I love sharing what is important to me.
And yeah, my mom freaked me out haha I'm trying really hard to act like everything's fine but it's not easy at all, I'm dissociating pretty hard right now.
 
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ab_

ab_

"I'd feel trapped if I couldn't CTB at any time."
Feb 15, 2019
276
Rest easy friend.
 

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