CTB by OD, help needed.

[dedsadLoner98]

I want to CTB. Currently planning on overdosing (but I am also open to suggestions about other methods, preferably those which are physically painless). I am completely inexperienced about OD, and in over a decade of struggling with suicidal thoughts and attempts I have only seriously begun to consider this method as probably the best for me in the last two days.

I live all alone, have no friends, and practically no family either. I am fairly certain that I won't be discovered for several days if anything were to happen to me.

I currently have 7.5 mg of clonazepam, over 1500 mg of amitriptyline and about 10 mg of haloperidol, all in tablets from when I was under medication last year (i.e., haven't taken any of these in several months). I also have a prescription for citalopram, although I never took it and apparently it isn't that lethal. Additionally, it seems that taking these with alcohol increases lethality of the drug and although I don't have any with me at the moment, acquiring alcohol won't be a problem at all.

I need help with the options I have, or any more options that I need to consider, and how to do it.

 

[ghostgoth]

I have had several experiences with OD and I can assure you it is not painless at all, even on lesser dosages it was still painful and disorientating. However, I have also been considering OD again the past few days, mixed with alcohol, but I know deep down the success rate isn't that high. As well, I don't believe those specific medications are at high risk of death. I would recommend a different method if you are really serious, or if you're like me at the moment and it feels more like a fuck it I'll see and I pray. Being lonely is definitely the worst bit and having no one around, it makes me feel worse that no one would discover me for days. If you have only contemplated it for a while now, what has made you want to finally CTB?

 

[downndone2]

That won't be enough. I've been thinking of OD as well and I don't think I have enough either. OD often fails. Prob just have a nice sleep and wake up disoriented. I'm sorry

 

[Shadowlord900]

Amitriptyline is something you may be able to overdose on alone, but 1.5g is not near anywhere enough. For example, the 5 drug mixture in the PPeH contains 8g of amitriptyline, and that's even in addition to 15gs of morphine (an opioid) and 5gs of Phenobarbital (a barbiturate)! Haloperidol might help, but not only it will not contribute much to a fatal oral OD, the amount you've listed is tiny.

I don't think your current stockpile of drugs will cut it I'm afraid. Even if you could get enough ami to CTB on that alone, I wouldn't recommend it because death will come from cardiac arrest. Not the most painful death, but also far from the most pleasant. If you could combine ami with an opioid and/or a barbiturate in large enough quantities, the 2/3 in combination can be very deadly while (hopefully) still being fairly pleasant.

 

[dedsadLoner98]

If you have only contemplated it for a while now, what has made you want to finally CTB?

I have a long history of contemplating and trying to end my life, but the urge and obsession with death has become worse now after having gone through everything. Even though situation-wise I'm in a better place right now than in the past, I just feel exhausted, physically and mentally, and don't want to keep living anymore having to deal with the same things again and again and feeling stuck without a way out. The only reason I'm still alive is because I don't actually know how to ctb and that feels so very frustrating that I just feel like making an attempt on impulse.