Venting CSA vent - I hate my body

[ivllis]

I can't take this much longer. I hate my body so much, I cant even take a shower without wanting to throw up. I cant change without needed to cvt myself. I cant sleep at night because I still feel their touching on my body. I hate looking at my body knowing its the reason I'm in so much pain. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I never got rped. Maybe I wouldn't want to CTB, maybe I would be able to go outside without fear of her or anyone who passed by. I just want this all to end. I want to CTB so badly it physically pains me.

 

[Vesiira]

I can't take this much longer. I hate my body so much, I cant even take a shower without wanting to throw up. I cant change without needed to cvt myself. I cant sleep at night because I still feel their touching on my body. I hate looking at my body knowing its the reason I'm in so much pain. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I never got rped. Maybe I wouldn't want to CTB, maybe I would be able to go outside without fear of her or anyone who passed by. I just want this all to end. I want to CTB so badly it physically pains me.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I have always hated my body too. My eating disorder makes it impossible not to. All the hurt and pain I have put my body through still haunts me. Dealing with sexual trauma is a thing I would never wish on anyone. Sending love.

 

[Weltall]

I can't take this much longer. I hate my body so much, I cant even take a shower without wanting to throw up. I cant change without needed to cvt myself. I cant sleep at night because I still feel their touching on my body. I hate looking at my body knowing its the reason I'm in so much pain. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I never got rped. Maybe I wouldn't want to CTB, maybe I would be able to go outside without fear of her or anyone who passed by. I just want this all to end. I want to CTB so badly it physically pains me.

I know you don't want to be touched, so I'm hugging you mentally.
You're a beautiful person, and deserve to be happy.
Let us know if you need support with anything.

 

[wait.what]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm sure people have told you that you didn't deserve the abuse and don't deserve your hate. Both are true, but the thing is, the people who do deserve your hate are probably beyond your reach. Vigilantism is seldom a good idea either, but shrugging philosophically and saying "it's just one of those lifetimes, I guess," can be a bit much to ask of a csa survivor.

I don't really know what to say either, except that the world can be an absolute bitch.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's horrible how some humans just create so much suffering, it's certainly understandable just wishing to be free but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Neogoloid]

Humanity was a mistake.