Crying at my job rn lmao

[selfeater]

Things have been tough lately
Seriously my nose just started bleeding
This sucks

Ok I left the chair I was sitting and crying at and I managed to make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing me and for the people who did see me I dont think my bloody and tear covered face and hands registered and so they didn't see anything
Fortunately I get to get off work now
I think I'm going to quit this job I can't handle it

Walking to car now
My brains gone into fuck it I don't care mode now
I just tried to get into the wrong car AND THE PERSON WHO OWNED THE CAR SAW ME HAHA
I'm going crazy lmao
I'm going to drive to my next job and cry on the way there and also there too
There's less cars in their parking lot
I hope this is it for me and I decide to quit this job
There's blood on my pants but fortunately they're black people won't notice
I honestly didn't cry too much on the car ride some dry sobs and then was it
Now I just feel a large achy feeling in my chest and your usual dark depression
Been a while since I had a big break like this the last time I really remember was when I got carted off to the hospital rip
Listening to my "Sad Songs" playlist lol
I'm tired of experiencing this
I have 20 min till work I'll watch some YouTube and see if I have any food in my bag
I just went in but a guy was still cleaning so I wait
Just talking to him I felt like I was gonna collapse
It felt like everyone knew
I wish I could call off
Definitely probably gonna quit my library job

Work is over now
Seeing the kids cheered me up but as soon as they left the depression came right back
I definitely feel like I'm on a breaking point and I don't even understand why
Well I guess I kinda get it
I just keep mistake after mistake
I'm going to drive home now
Today was a really hard day.

 

[onthefence]

Hey self. I can totally relate to what you are saying here. I've been crying daily at work the past week. It sounds like you are dissociating hard… I only feel qualified to say that because except for the exact details that is how I have been. In multiple meetings this week I was so checked out that they said my name a few times n then someone else answered the question. I'm like a zombie. Any human interaction is draining. Even the socially polite smile takes too much energy. Be careful driving in this state…

 

[Forveleth]

Have definitely hidden in the bathroom crying at work before. Hell, I have left early for the sheer reason I could not stop bawling at work and just did not want to have to explain it to anyone.

On the bright side, you made it! Today was tough but it is over now and you made it through! Good job!

 

[_void]

and well done for making it through an incredibly tough and challenging day

 

[moonstroll]

However SHIT work is, you're still getting paid. Earning money, having some sort of a vague purpose in life. Imagine being in the same situation you are now, but without a job or a purpose or a pay cheque... I hope that thought helps?

 

[selfeater]

Hey self. I can totally relate to what you are saying here. I've been crying daily at work the past week. It sounds like you are dissociating hard… I only feel qualified to say that because except for the exact details that is how I have been. In multiple meetings this week I was so checked out that they said my name a few times n then someone else answered the question. I'm like a zombie. Any human interaction is draining. Even the socially polite smile takes too much energy. Be careful driving in this state…

I totally feel the socially polite smile stuff. Going from actual me to public me where I have to be kind polite and helpful and normal and having to mask my anxiety and depression is getting harder and harder and more often I'm slipping to my actual me to make cynical and depressive comments lmao. Thanks for the warning too

However SHIT work is, you're still getting paid. Earning money, having some sort of a vague purpose in life. Imagine being in the same situation you are now, but without a job or a purpose or a pay cheque... I hope that thought helps?

Thanks lmao. Life may suck rn but I guess it sucks a little less when I can get food delivered and eat cake in bed