Venting Crushing loneliness and social alienation

[The Disqualified]

It is a horrible feeling.
But I will try something tomorrow.

And I don't like to just give up like that.

I feel lonely now.
I can feel lonely even in the middle of a party, in the middle of a crowd, while smiling, laughing...

It is something profound. A crushing deep loneliness.

I don't know what can fill that void.
I see people complaining about loneliness a lot it seems.

The loneliness I feel is existential. I feel like the only one of my kind. The others, they seem so distant when I talk to them.
Their experiences... the things they say... I don't even know how to respond.
I feel like me trying to engage with them is me putting on a charade of being human.
A farce.

I feel hopeless when it comes to friends and my future. I don't know what to say really.

I don't even know how I could even come back to society...
I have no idea how it would be for me to live the normal life of a human being...
Going to the cinema with a big group of friends, laughing together, people with their partners, sharing stories, being... alive...

I don't know how someone can slip through the cracks so deep like me. But here I am.
I feel completely detached from the rest of the human species, a permanent outsider.

I don't what more to say. I guess I have said enough for this thread.

 

[Z0002]

If you want we can talk, I am lonely af too. Anyway I hope you'll find your peace

 

[_Vasa&Him_]

A lot of the stuff you mention deeply resonates with me.

I used to enjoy loneliness, I relished in it, but eventually it became too much and I got a reality check from my delusions. The problem is that it was far too late.

I see you can at least imagine interacting with people in the future, or scenarios where you are with people, I cant even see that. I feel so hopeless regarding it that I cannot even imagine myself having a conversation and forming bonds with people beyond the casual conversation.

I tend to daydream alot, everyday actually, and even inside there, I do not see myself in a company of friends or people… just a boyfriend, thats really it.

The worst part is when I look into the future and only see death or suffocating loneliness in my 30s and then still an eventual suicide in 40s.

I dont know how this information helps really… but I hope you can understand that people like you exist, not entirely like you, maybe not understanding all aspects of your misery, but enough for it to matter.

Sorry you are like this… life is a bitch, theres nothing else to say…

 

[fadedghost]

I would guess a lot of people feel this way. There is a lot about society that is alienating. A large percent of people have no friends, it's not just 1 or 2 percent. People used to live in tribes and villages and interact constantly. It's just different now.