Venting Crazy Stigma / Suicide

[sweetandsanctioned]

Does anyone else deal with this too? People calling you crazy just because you have problems and they don't understand you, or just simply refuse to? That is all I've ever heard most of my life any time I was hurt or angry, even my family would say it and guys I liked who hurt me even though I do not have any delusional disorder and do everything I possibly can for my mental health like take meds, go to therapy and exercise etc. People still dismiss me as just a crazy person because I struggle with my emotions, especially when people HURT me and often times, doctors don't even take me seriously. I kinda get the opposite from them where they just dismiss my depression. Seems like people only ever say it to abuse and bully me because it doesn't actually ever "help". That's what they always love to say.. that they are just trying to help you even though they are actually the ones upsetting you and making you act that way in the first place. So, because of this I deal with a lot of shame and don't see the point in living anymore because if you are someone who suffers like I do, your feelings and thoughts just get dismissed. The world isn't kind to people who feel too much or who defend themselves. They always turn themselves into the victim despite attacking you first and now I even have people making accounts just to call me crazy because I like someone extremely popular who they also like too and want attention from. But they act like I'm the one wanting attention and call me names, then tell everyone I'm crazy when I get upset and angry at their lies. It's gotten to the point now where it's actually EFFECTED my mental health and reputation as a result. I have been humiliated online and no one talks to me. I am always left out and made to feel like the bad guy even though people come TO ME with their unsolicited opinions that are HURTFUL and attack me FIRST. I have told them repeatedly I DO NOT find their words helpful, that it actually really hurts and to STOP but they continue to call me it, even after i BLOCK them (which they also act like I'm bad for despite coming TO ME first and me not wanting to hear from them), they keep making accounts to monitor my posts, slander me.. accuse me of things they are actually doing themselves and just try to dismiss me as "crazy". I am so ved up of that word and am at a point now where I just think what's the point in even living? If I am only ever seen as crazy .. despite doing my absolute best to look after my mental health, then why stick around? People only seem to treat each other like shit and don't care how they are making someone else feel, especially on sites like Twitter but even though I know they are strangers and not my fucking doctor, it still REALLY HURTS and I struggle to get people to believe me. I also wonder if it's true because I've gotten it a lot but my family was neglectful/borderline abusive and the men I liked who called me crazy also called me ugly, told me I was gonna die alone etc. So I don't know whether to believe these strangers online too who came TO ME and accussed me of attention seeking and called me insane but also insulted my appearance. Yet no one listens to me.. I'm always the bad guy and this is the final straw. I've been publically shamed and humiliated online in front of everyone and refuse to put up with that crap anymore. I feel my anger is completely justified in most cases and now it's even worse because I actually WANT to live so I can play my guitar and do things I've always wanted etc. I've made so much progress in my life only for it to be ruined and genuinely tried to be happy and be a better person but no matter what I do to improve myself both mentally and physically, it's still not good enough and I don't want to have to carry this burden of anger or shame around with me forever so I am planning on not living anymore as too much damage has been done and it doesn't seem to be getting better any time soon. The only reason I've stuck around this long is that I still hope things will get better and that I will finally get justice or the respect I deserve but maybe THAT IS delusional and I AM crazy after all...

 

[Gaga786]

Yes, that is exactly how I feel. My family thinks I am mentally ill and they treat me like it. It's like they believe im not even a human being.My relatives all push me away due to my struggles. It can be very enervating trying to deal with that– especially with such a wall manufactured by everyone against you. Im sorry that you have to suffer so much, and I hope you find the inner peace you deserve. Wishing you the best, take care of yourself

 

[sweetandsanctioned]

Yes, that is exactly how I feel. My family thinks I am mentally ill and they treat me like it. It's like they believe im not even a human being.My relatives all push me away due to my struggles. It can be very enervating trying to deal with that– especially with such a wall manufactured by everyone against you. Im sorry that you have to suffer so much, and I hope you find the inner peace you deserve. Wishing you the best, take care of yourself

Thank u so much. I wish for nothing but peace for everyone struggling with this issue. They don't know how hurtful and hard it is for us or seem to care but I'm glad someone else understands.