Couple of q’s...

[andiewithanie]

Q1: those of you who know someone who CTB'd, was there a note and did it help in any way?

Q2: how best do you minimise the impact of your passing wrt both the people you care for and whoever has to deal with the physical mess?

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Hello there!

1) My carer died by suicide and he left a public note on Facebook. It helped a little but I still have a lot of questions that I am unable to ask him. With my own personal notes I have written why I have chosen to CTB. I have them on a USB that I will hide as police will take them as evidence and your relatives won;t see them.

2) To be honest I don't think you can. I would fulfill any promises you have given them and then decide what you will do. It's your life, it depends if you think things can improve or not but in reality if you have people dependent on you then it's going to be tougher. I am planning to have an automated text go to 999 as I have a disability so I have signed up for a texting version of 999. Depends on the method you could ring 999 before, or leave a note on the door.

 

[andiewithanie]

would it be inappropriate of me to ask what kinds of questions you had?
I was planning on saying the bare min tbh: apology; found life wanting; my decision; nothing anyone could do to help; just an unlucky set of circs, etc.

 

[TowerUpright]

I was planning on not leaving anything at all. People can make up whatever that want to recover faster.

 

[YukiFox]

1. A college friend died by suicide but I didn't know if she left a note. For what I remembered, all her friends were shocked for the event and the schizophrenia of a friend in common worsened since the death. So probably she didn't left any note.
2. Will never minimize the impact. At least you commit some atrocity, like rape or massive fraud to the family that makes them hate you, a suicide will leave a wound that will be hard to heal. How every person will manage that mourning, it depends how that family member cared about you. We must remember that society teached that suicides is a "tragedy" and something that "must" prevent at any cost. So the consequences of catching the bus will never know.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Q1: those of you who know someone who CTB'd, was there a note and did it help in any way?

I knew a guy whose mother had jumped off a building in the middle of town without warning. He barricaded himself in the bathroom and slit his throat, with his relatives banging on the door. I can't help but feel that a more secretive way with a goodbye note would have been kinder, and offered more peace for those remaining.

Q2: how best do you minimise the impact of your passing wrt both the people you care for and whoever has to deal with the physical mess?

I think leaving a note, the longer the better, may be able to control the damage a little bit. I have to sound somewhat callous when referencing those who deal with the body, as I feel if they've put themselves forward for the job, they're going to be desensitised to what they find. Trying to empty the bowels beforehand can't hurt, and it seems to me that the bloodier the scene the more unpleasant it'd be.

Maybe a superfluous thing to add, but I'll likely be found by my housing manager, but she's tough as nails, then it'll be passed to the authorities. I'm just glad it won't be my family.

 

[andiewithanie]

Thinking about it a 'thank you' is probably what I was missing.

Thanks all x

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

would it be inappropriate of me to ask what kinds of questions you had?
I was planning on saying the bare min tbh: apology; found life wanting; my decision; nothing anyone could do to help; just an unlucky set of circs, etc.

Well before he died our last conversation was an argument and so I would ask if I contributed to his death.
I would ask why he killed himself when he told me he didn't believe in suicide and why he got me medical help on my attempt when he was planning to do the same.
I would ask if I failed to help him.
Just questions about our relationship and his mood.