Help could be pregnant, scared af

[almaranthine]

damn, never thought I'd end up here again... before I share I just wanna say I don't assume that everyone that's pro-choice for suicide/euthanasia is pro-choice for abortion, and while I don't personally understand that viewpoint, I don't want to offend any one that has it here, nor do I want to debate the issue...

Anyways, I'm pretty upset right now. I don't have any confirmation- it's still too early to tell, and I did take plan B as soon as I could, but I've been pregnant before and something just feels off in an unsettling and familiar way. I've only had one abortion in my life, and had to pay out of pocket for it. It was a little over $500 with no insurance. Crazy that you have to pay that much for a few fucking pills.

I live in the US and my state is one of the ones that has effectively banned any form of affordable insurance (Medicaid, marketplace) from covering/offering some coverage for an abortion. I priced a plan from an insurer direct, just me on the plan, 25, female, smoker, no health conditions: $350 per month.... insane.

Whole situation is just making me feel numb, worried. Was already in a pretty dark place, having to mentally plan for this whole potential ordeal is really fucking me up. Can't confide in the guy at all- we weren't in a relationship or even close. He actually lives with an ex he still has "relations" with... if that makes any damn sense (didn't know that when I got involved the one.... and only time) and has way too much other shit going on to even paraphrase.

Not sure what to do with myself, other than wait.

 

[jenepeuxdiremonnom]

:(

 

[PartlyHuman]

damn, never thought I'd end up here again... before I share I just wanna say I don't assume that everyone that's pro-choice for suicide/euthanasia is pro-choice for abortion, and while I don't personally understand that viewpoint, I don't want to offend any one that has it here, nor do I want to debate the issue...

Anyways, I'm pretty upset right now. I don't have any confirmation- it's still too early to tell, and I did take plan B as soon as I could, but I've been pregnant before and something just feels off in an unsettling and familiar way. I've only had one abortion in my life, and had to pay out of pocket for it. It was a little over $500 with no insurance. Crazy that you have to pay that much for a few fucking pills.

I live in the US and my state is one of the ones that has effectively banned any form of affordable insurance (Medicaid, marketplace) from covering/offering some coverage for an abortion. I priced a plan from an insurer direct, just me on the plan, 25, female, smoker, no health conditions: $350 per month.... insane.

Whole situation is just making me feel numb, worried. Was already in a pretty dark place, having to mentally plan for this whole potential ordeal is really fucking me up. Can't confide in the guy at all- we weren't in a relationship or even close. He actually lives with an ex he still has "relations" with... if that makes any damn sense (didn't know that when I got involved the one.... and only time) and has way too much other shit going on to even paraphrase.

Not sure what to do with myself, other than wait.

Hey, I hope everything will be okay! Actually if you've taken plan b you're more likely not to be pregnant than you are to be. Just figured out that it has 95% efficiency if taken in first 24 hours and 61% if in first 72 hours. I really hope it'll turn out okay for you!
I don't know how it works in USA, here I'd have advised to make hCG blood test done (after 12+ day), it's more precise than just a pregnancy test and its levels can show ectopic pregnancy. Also you must remember that emergency contraception messes up your cycle so don't assume that you're pregnant based just on lack of it. And, I'm sorry to say it, but if you haven't use any barrier contraception with the guy it might be a good idea to check for std later. Always a good idea, actually. Now, I really have no idea how it works in USA (my country has shitty but free healthcare) but I wish you all the luck! Also, it seems fair to me to ask the guy to split abortions costs if it turns out you do need it.
Really sorry for unwanted advices if you just wanted to vent.
I feel a bit awkward offering it after recent events on the site but if you want some support (I'm pro-choice) you can PM me :) Wish you good luck!

 

[almaranthine]

Hey thank you for writing me, I appreciate it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get the plan b in the first 24 hrs. I had to get it delivered to my house when no one was home (don't have a car) and it was about hour 32ish when I took it. I think the blood test you're talking about is what they perform at the doctors offices/hospital. I don't have great access to healthcare with no insurance but I would like to get all the std testing done, I just didn't mention it in my post. The guy obviously doesn't practice safe sex with anyone and that was pretty unsettling to me. First, he drove me to his house and didn't tell me about his "ex" living there... proceeded to walk in and have this woman start freaking out. Then in the moment, I ask him to get a condom and he's basically like, oh yeah I don't use those. Didn't know what to say, honestly. I was scared to refuse. I couldn't just leave. I was 40 minutes away from my house and didn't drive there. That's why I'm not sure whether to approach the guy or not... I doubt I'd get a positive reaction.

 

[PartlyHuman]

Hey thank you for writing me, I appreciate it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get the plan b in the first 24 hrs. I had to get it delivered to my house when no one was home (don't have a car) and it was about hour 32ish when I took it. I think the blood test you're talking about is what they perform at the doctors offices/hospital. I don't have great access to healthcare with no insurance but I would like to get all the std testing done, I just didn't mention it in my post. The guy obviously doesn't practice safe sex with anyone and that was pretty unsettling to me. First, he drove me to his house and didn't tell me about his "ex" living there... proceeded to walk in and have this woman start freaking out. Then in the moment, I ask him to get a condom and he's basically like, oh yeah I don't use those. Didn't know what to say, honestly. I was scared to refuse. I couldn't just leave. I was 40 minutes away from my house and didn't drive there. That's why I'm not sure whether to approach the guy or not... I doubt I'd get a positive reaction.

Well now you really only have to wait (statistics is still on your side with plan b!) and then get tests as fast as you can so you can avoid surgical abortion if one needed at all.
Yeah from what you've said, the guy sounds like a complete asshole and it might be better for your own safety not to contact him. He can also be pro-life and it'd make the situation significantly harder.
Now the thing you should really do is some visualisation I think. At least, negative visualisation really helps me, maybe it'll help you too. So, just try to calm down and visualise and plan ahead all your actions in both negative and positive outcome. The whole situation is cruel and scary, I do hope it'll turn out good but in case it isn't, I really believe you will do everything alright and it'll turn out good. Even if it won't, it's still not the end.
These things happen to a lot of women every day and well it's how our world is. Sending you mental hugs and really you can PM me for more support if you need. I'm not really sure how it's done here, fairly new on the forum.
Good luck! You can do it!

 

[almaranthine]

Thank you for the advice- I will try the visualization technique; I have done some to a degree already, but haven't imagined the positive outcomes. I had to have one abortion in the past, so I already know the average cost, and where I can go to get an appointment and a prescription for the pills. I've thought about the strange possibility that this man, who doesn't give enough of a shit to use basic contraception, and seems to be pretty promiscuous, could be pro-life- as contradictory as it seems, damn I would not be surprised. I decided that if I contacted him, it would be after the procedure to request that he pay for some of it. However, I almost expect him to say that I can't prove it was his. I will wait it out and see, fingers crossed. I guess I learned all over again that you really, really can't trust people at all. I wonder how many women just let it happen because their afraid of saying no.

 

[PartlyHuman]

Thank you for the advice- I will try the visualization technique; I have done some to a degree already, but haven't imagined the positive outcomes. I had to have one abortion in the past, so I already know the average cost, and where I can go to get an appointment and a prescription for the pills. I've thought about the strange possibility that this man, who doesn't give enough of a shit to use basic contraception, and seems to be pretty promiscuous, could be pro-life- as contradictory as it seems, damn I would not be surprised. I decided that if I contacted him, it would be after the procedure to request that he pay for some of it. However, I almost expect him to say that I can't prove it was his. I will wait it out and see, fingers crossed. I guess I learned all over again that you really, really can't trust people at all. I wonder how many women just let it happen because their afraid of saying no.

Just make sure to be safe! He does sound shadowy or maybe I'm just paranoid?.. but anyway if there is a possibility he can do anything to you or harm your life in any way, pls think it through. I'm pretty sure he's prolife, seems the type in my experience.
Good luck and be safe :)

 

[almaranthine]

Just make sure to be safe! He does sound shadowy or maybe I'm just paranoid?.. but anyway if there is a possibility he can do anything to you or harm your life in any way, pls think it through. I'm pretty sure he's prolife, seems the type in my experience.
Good luck and be safe :)

Thank you, and I hate to say it but after my experience with him and learning other things, (guy apparently lost his license for 6 years... not sure how many dui's you have to commit to accomplish that but he still has a breathalyzer in his car) I would have to agree. Definitely think something is off about him. He does actually have some form of a brain injury from when he was in the navy, and I'm not sure how that affects his personality/behavior. Damn I wish I knew how to meet responsible, trustworthy people.

 

[Mentalmick]

Thank you, and I hate to say it but after my experience with him and learning other things, (guy apparently lost his license for 6 years... not sure how many dui's you have to commit to accomplish that but he still has a breathalyzer in his car) I would have to agree. Definitely think something is off about him. He does actually have some form of a brain injury from when he was in the navy, and I'm not sure how that affects his personality/behavior. Damn I wish I knew how to meet responsible, trustworthy people.

6 years? Fuck me, that's quite a warning sign. Definitely something off about him.

 

[almaranthine]

6 years? Fuck me, that's quite a warning sign. Definitely something off about him.

Yup... he mentioned something about if he ever got pulled over with weed he'd literally lose his license forever. Crazy. He had medicinal weed and a card for it but I dk if it's fine to drive on it still?? So many red flags.

 

[Bat 17]

Yup... he mentioned something about if he ever got pulled over with weed he'd literally lose his license forever. Crazy. He had medicinal weed and a card for it but I dk if it's fine to drive on it still?? So many red flags.

Look I'm really sorry you are going through this @almaranthine , on top of everything else you've had to deal with. Wanting a bit of intimacy and connection with someone isn't a crime, but then all this other stuff spills out and it sounds like he's a jerk really. It really is rotten luck. There are good guys out there though and I'm sure you will meet one in time

With any luck , you aren't pregnant. Whatever happens, we are here for you and support you

Keep us updated

 

[noaccount]

Sorry this is happening! Safe2choose has some good guides to early options...