Corpse Exposure & Consideration.

[TiredHorse]

Do you live in the area?? There are many people who go to the Olympics to ctb and very few of them are found. This is what I was thinking of doing for a while. Or Deceptions Pass...

Yes, I'm near Oly now, but used to live in P'bo, so the BI ferry was just part of the commuter system. It's free for walk-on passengers from the BI side, too.

Deception Pass would be good. So would the TacNar bridge.

 

[HappilySoaring]

Thank you. I was curious because there are so many tourists/hikers/campers, etc. there.

Can I PM you when my post count is high enough?

Yes, there are many. Some people are even lucky enough to be carried away by cougars. Lol and of course you can!

 

[HappilySoaring]

Yes, I'm near Oly now, but used to live in P'bo, so the BI ferry was just part of the commuter system. It's free for walk-on passengers from the BI side, too.

Deception Pass would be good. So would the TacNar bridge.

Oh yeah, you're right in the neighborhood. I live near PO in the boonies. And that bridge would be perf, plus it's pedestrian. And if you're lucky enough, a giant squid will take care of the body.

 

[longingforrelease]

Thanks so much OP for this contribution. I recently had a shitty exchange with someone in a comments thread who announced her disdain for those who commit suicide because they obviously are all selfish and have no consideration for others. I wish that person could read your eloquent and compassionate call to be attentive to the wellbeing of those who will encounter our corpse. Since I now sadly live 10,000 miles from what still seems like home, I haven't given your concerns much thought. My concerns have been mainly the effect of suicide on my young daughter (who still lives back in the states) and also, but to a lesser extent, on the rest of my family. That's why my primary consideration is finding an effective method that will appear accidental - on the assumption that there is a significantly more difficult bereavement process and greater long-term effects on mental and even physical health for children who lose a parent to suicide, as opposed to deaths by other causes. The second priority has been a method that is relatively painless and that will cause as little distress as I can hope for. I'm currently leaning toward SWB for these two reasons. But I hadn't actually considered the matter of the discovery of my corpse. There is a pool at my condo complex, which is where I have assumed I would ctb. I shall give this some thought. There are actually a number of students from my university who live in this complex, some of whom I am quite fond of. I would hate if one of them were to discover my body if it would prove traumatic for them. (and you have strongly made the case that it would be.) Something else to consider. I greatly appreciate your post.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

Ive also thought bout this. i dont want my end to be public cuz it only fucks people up. I think when my wife finally leaves me which maybe soon ill have the plact to myself. we live in a trailer so ill lock the doors and maybe put a sign up warning people not to enter unless police i seen thsi somewhere before. good news is i dont have any famiy round and no real friends that would come checking on me. im goin to hang from a door but ill make sure to do it from behind the door. wish there was a way i could jsut disappear or disintegrate my corpse. i did leave a request to cremate my corpse. I think itd be cool if they would flush my remains down the toilet but i know that prolly wont happen.

 

[bigj75]

the people who put us in this situation should have thought about that before hand (most of us were abused). Plus death is a part of life. In my opinion it should be of no drastic shock knowing the way the world is, people don't die pretty. We all know that. If suicide was legal we would do it in a proper way where the exposure of our corpse would be far more suitable. But it's not.

Also the biggest thing is that your depression/physical pain can get so severe that your mind does not care and just wants to die. You can't overcome that.

 

[Toenditall]

Thanks to this post I'm going to ctb in a hotel didn't think about my poor nan finding my body

 

[EndofMyRope]

Lately I've been seriously considering cutting an artery in my neck and bleeding out as my way to ctb... I realize this sounds slightly gruesome and extreme, but I've tried ODing on a massive amount of acetaminophen only to end up in excruciating pain and extremely sick for a week straight. An overdose of clonidine (a blood pressure med), ambien and Klonipin didn't work out either... My knot tying skills are nill or hanging would be an option. That being said, I'm thinking of doing it in my bathroom and leaving a note on the outside of the door for my boyfriend. The bathroom with keep the mess slightly contained and easier to deal with I imagine. I honestly don't think finding me would even affect him as he's a gaslighting, narcisstic sociopath without a conscience who doesn't seem to lose sleep over anything in this world. As silly as this may sound, I just don't want my cat and dog to left alone in the house with me dead in the bathroom for too long. Lol Is it fucked up that I'm worried about my pets seeing me but not my boyfriend?? Lol maybe I'm more fucked up than I'd originally thought.

 

[longingforrelease]

Lately I've been seriously considering cutting an artery in my neck and bleeding out as my way to ctb... I realize this sounds slightly gruesome and extreme, but I've tried ODing on a massive amount of acetaminophen only to end up in excruciating pain and extremely sick for a week straight. An overdose of clonidine (a blood pressure med), ambien and Klonipin didn't work out either... My knot tying skills are nill or hanging would be an option. That being said, I'm thinking of doing it in my bathroom and leaving a note on the outside of the door for my boyfriend. The bathroom with keep the mess slightly contained and easier to deal with I imagine. I honestly don't think finding me would even affect him as he's a gaslighting, narcisstic sociopath without a conscience who doesn't seem to lose sleep over anything in this world. As silly as this may sound, I just don't want my cat and dog to left alone in the house with me dead in the bathroom for too long. Lol Is it fucked up that I'm worried about my pets seeing me but not my boyfriend?? Lol maybe I'm more fucked up than I'd originally thought.

hey, thanks for sharing. I can't or comment on how you feel about your bf, because it's not my place, but I sure as hell know about the pet thing. About 20 years ago, just before I got sober, I was in a world of shit and had thoughts of ctb all day long. I mean it when I say that my Labrador Retriever was a big part of why I didn't.(In fact, he was a major factor in me getting sober) Well, in short, I just couldn't figure out what to do with him. I couldn't take him to the shelter, he deserved better than that, and I didn't want to do it in the apartment where he would be left alone with my corpse for who knew how long before someone found us. So I just suffered along but ended up getting sober and much of my depression lifted. Anyway, your comment really resonated with me. I remember that dilemma really well.

 

[EndofMyRope]

hey, thanks for sharing. I can't or comment on how you feel about your bf, because it's not my place, but I sure as hell know about the pet thing. About 20 years ago, just before I got sober, I was in a world of shit and had thoughts of ctb all day long. I mean it when I say that my Labrador Retriever was a big part of why I didn't.(In fact, he was a major factor in me getting sober) Well, in short, I just couldn't figure out what to do with him. I couldn't take him to the shelter, he deserved better than that, and I didn't want to do it in the apartment where he would be left alone with my corpse for who knew how long before someone found us. So I just suffered along but ended up getting sober and much of my depression lifted. Anyway, your comment really resonated with me. I remember that dilemma really well.

People might think "why not just break up with him if he's so bad?". Honestly, I just don't have the strength. I can barely take care of my dog most days, let alone myself and I don't plan on being around much longer anyways, so why bother.

As for my "babies", they will go back with my ex-husband who loves them dearly, so I'm not worried about that.

 

[bigj75]

Best options are the woods or a remote cabin.

After that i would say a hotel.

I wouldn't mind being out at sea in an island or something and do it there.

 

[longingforrelease]

People might think "why not just break up with him if he's so bad?". Honestly, I just don't have the strength. I can barely take care of my dog most days, let alone myself and I don't plan on being around much longer anyways, so why bother.

As for my "babies", they will go back with my ex-husband who loves them dearly, so I'm not worried about that.

hey, sorry for the late reply. Been a weird week or so. Just wanted to say that all relationships are fucking complicated. I don't imagine there are many here who don't have stories of fucked up relationships, including those where people on the outside are surely saying "why does he not just fucking leave her! You do you...

 

[Hopeless_soul]

This is an attempt to get you to consider the potential trauma the sight of your corpse can trigger. There is nothing clean or pleasant about dying, and leaving it up to strangers or loved ones to find you is exceptionally cruel and inconsiderate. It is pretty much the textbook definition of selfish, and I know how you all hate that word on here. If you are engaged in rational suicide you should be controlling the factors surrounding your death, including who finds you. The considerate thing is trying to limit discovery down to frontline services that have to deal with cadavers as part of their job description. Even they can suffer the sights they see, so imagine how much more magnified that is to a potential loved one or a stranger who was just going about their day with no expectation of encountering a corpse in whatever state it manifests.

It is a well-documented fact that exposure to a cadaver can cause post-traumatic stress disorder in people. It can leave people haunted with the sight and smells resurfacing, existing on in nightmares long after the encounter. There are plenty on this site with PTSD, and that hell can be a driver of their own reasons to suicide. So I am sure they would not wish it on anyone else. So don't jeopardise the psyche of others in this way. You have no idea who may potentially find you if you leave it up to chance. You have no idea what their pre-existing associations with death may well be already. The minds of others are potentially fragile. So you have a responsibility to minimise potential harm as much as possible.

Even though hotels have policies surrounding dead guest it is still distressing for the staff to walk in on a contorted body leaking excrement down the side of the bed. Some have quit their jobs over it, too scared to want to open another guest room door because of what may lay on the other side of it.

It is the same for train drivers, some become traumatised from seeing people explode giblets across their windscreen and have to quit as a result.

If your loved ones find you they will be left with that final disturbing image, it will contaminate prior memories and images. It will linger the entire way through any grieving process and never be forgotten decades on. Your suicide is potentially going to cause pain anyway, but you should at least make efforts to minimise the trauma as much as possible. You just don't get the sight of corpses out of your head.

It is far kinder on all concerned to try and die somewhere privately instead of publicly.
You may have given up on life but you still have the choice to be considerate with who you expose your corpse too. If it means you have to set up delayed messages to have the authorities be the ones to find you, you should probably aim to do that. If you can reason out your suicide and its execution I don't see why you can't reason out consideration for others as well.

I wish you peace in whatever form that may take.

I've been wanting to read a post like this one. This a major issue for me. I don't want to cause any harm to anyone. I'm concerned about sensationalist stories appearing in tabloids. Some of them are so crude, that I'd bet the families didn't give permission for that to be published. How do those stories reach the press?

 

[color_me_gone]

leaving it up to strangers or loved ones to find you is exceptionally cruel

I will not ctb at home because my wife lives with me.
I don't want her to see the corpse, and I don't want to leave her with the remembrance that I ctb in the house.
I plan to use inert gas, in an old car, where I will drive to a remote location to do the deed.
I will lock all doors, so only police will open the door when alerted to a suspicious car.
The car can be scrapped, as it has no major value anyway.

 

[511115]

I've been wanting to read a post like this one. This a major issue for me. I don't want to cause any harm to anyone. I'm concerned about sensationalist stories appearing in tabloids. Some of them are so crude, that I'd bet the families didn't give permission for that to be published. How do those stories reach the press?

I've been wondering this for the longest time. Some suicides end up splashed all over the news, some get a small article in the paper, and some get no attention at all. How do I ensure mine stays private?

As an example, when I was looking up jumping as a method in my area, there were a few articles that mentioned age and gender. Some mentioned people by name. Some got a short report about their suicide in the news.

How do I stay anonymous?? :(

 

[Hopeless_soul]

How do I ensure mine stays private?

How do I stay anonymous?? :(

Yeah, that. One thing is that your own family sends an obituary to the paper, etc., but another is the stupid press speculating about private issues just to feed morbid curiosity.

some get no attention at all

That's what I'd want. However, it's impossible to foresee something like that.

 

[Arak]

Just after reading the last couple of posts ... how to expose your dead body to the right people ? Something like timecave is out of the question. I don't know about delayed email response/deadman's switch.

I'm in Europe and things might be difference in the USA. I'm not so sure I could send an email to the local police.

 

[9a91]

I think making a mess is inevitable but I would like to reduce it due to my aesthetic.
I imagine that the worst is when the corpse will be found very late, long into state of decomposing. That shrugs me off. Once I watched a documentary about old houses in Japan and people who cleaned them as a job had to deal with weeks-old bodies of inhabitants who died in solitude. Many of them were just glued to the floor after months and that looks really bad. So, if you feel bad about it you could write an apology in suicide note like Mayhem's singer did, or just make sure somebody will find you soon. I think it's selfish to hide for too long. And people tend to be stronger than they look. I don't think that guy who was beating my mother senselessly instead of raising me properly will be scared or give a shrug over my dead body.

 

[NoOneKnows]

who considered my trauma during my entire life? I can count the number of people on the fingers of one hand.
I will do it at "home" (it never felt home) , where I will be find by the person who abused me whole life. The person lack empathy and is victim in every situation,so even if I would consider potential trauma inflicted,(which is nothing compare to yers of hell) it wouldnt occur.

 

[Sixfeetunder]

I'm already taking a few steps to be considerate, which are the following:
• Ctb in a hotel so my family won't be the ones to find me.
• Ctb in the bathroom so it's easier to clean up any fluids.
• Choosing a non-violent method so it's not all blood and gore.
• Putting up a sign on the bathroom door warning the hotel staff there is a dead body in there.

That's where the considerations end. Yes, I want to be considerate. But the main priority is ending up six feet under (hence my username).

I am uncomfortable with using a delayed email because technical errors can happen. Another concern of mine is if I somehow fail and am not in a state to cancel the email (such as temporary amnesia, being confused, or being very ill). If I somehow fail, I want it to be kept a secret so I can try again. If the police get the message and I failed, I would be thrown into the mental hospital and that would create any more problems. I cannot afford another stay in the psych ward. I cannot afford people irl knowing about this until I'm actually dead.

 

[Arak]

Bumping this ...

I've got a method, at least one. I've been looking through my past threads. Likely, it will be doen at home.

Waiting for people to discover a rotting corpse is not exactly ideal. It could be a long time till someone would force entry into my place.

Several methods have been mentioned. I considered a delayed email with Thunderbird (to whom??), there is an add on for that. But I've never done that, and how can I be sure it will work the way it is supposed to ? Someone mentioned a delayed messge by smartphone (to whom??) but I don't have one. Spending the equivalent of at least a few hundred USD for a smartphone for that purpose seems nonsensical, and I also lack the experience.

I don't really want to send a letter, what if I get cold feet at the last moment ?

I'm somewhere in Europe, and exposing my neighbours to the smell of a rotting corpse is not exactly ideal.

Yet, my personal safety comes first. Anything to attract attention at the right time ??
Any suggestions ?

 

[color_me_gone]

How about rigging a very loud burglar siren outside your house, using a timer you can set.
You can set it to go off some time after you ctb.
If you fail, you can turn it off so it will not go off.
Make sure the siren is set to continuous.
Most alarms will shut themselves off after 10 minutes, unless you change the setting.
You will annoy your neighbors, they will call the cops, who will find you.
Better to annoy your neighbors, than leaving them with a stinking rotting corpse.

 

[crova]

Im testing Mozilla Thunderbird email client with 'Send Later' plugin.

I cannot trust Gmail and their subcontractors [3letters agencies] that my message will be delivered like I want it [not earlier, if they
find key words: suicide, please come and collect my dead body, etc.
Ask @TiredHorse - he used similar [paid] service and he had a visit next day.

 

[Arak]

@color_me_gone , you're in the USA ? Available products differ. I can't think of anything obvious that does that, That would be extremely annoying to other people. Even if I could get it working, it would be a rotten thing to do.

 

[color_me_gone]

it would be a rotten thing to do.

agreed

 

[TiredHorse]

Ask @TiredHorse - he used similar [paid] service and he had a visit next day.

No, it was a free service: Timecave. LetterMeLater, also free, looks a lot less dodgy, so that's what I'll be using if I return to the bus stop.

Remember to do a test run with whatever service you use. Some of them (i.e. Timecave) trip the spam filters on some ISPs, so your delayed email might not go through. I used them for regular, innocuous emails for a little while, just to see who would or would not receive them, and about half the emails I sent through Timecave were never received. I didn't test LetterMeLater so extensively, but what testing I did do gave me better results.

My understanding is that the Mozilla/Thunderbird plug-in (which I can't get to work on my computer) requires that your computer be left on and awake. If that's not a problem, dandy, but for some people it might not work.

 

[crova]

No, it was a free service: Timecave. LetterMeLater, also free, looks a lot less dodgy, so that's what I'll be using if I return to the bus stop.

Remember to do a test run with whatever service you use. Some of them (i.e. Timecave) trip the spam filters on some ISPs, so your delayed email might not go through. I used them for regular, innocuous emails for a little while, just to see who would or would not receive them, and about half the emails I sent through Timecave were never received. I didn't test LetterMeLater so extensively, but what testing I did do gave me better results.

My understanding is that the Mozilla/Thunderbird plug-in (which I can't get to work on my computer) requires that your computer be left on and awake. If that's not a problem, dandy, but for some people it might not work.

My bad then. Thank you for correcting me @TiredHorse

My point I tried to make was, we cannot trust 100% and rely blindly on these services.
After Snowden we accepted the fact there is a gargantuan surveillance system in place and pretty much all we do online is scrutinized.
Every single email, sms, instant message goes through their mills...It only varies from country to country what triggers their red flags...

I considered a delayed email with Thunderbird (to whom??),

I plan to send delayed email to my local coppers. I will set Thunderbird to send a couple of emails to be sure they don't ignore it.
So install Thunderbird on your machine, start testing it and share your experience.

 

[Arak]

@crova
'
I plan to send delayed email to my local coppers. I will set Thunderbird to send a couple of emails to be sure they don't ignore it.
So install Thunderbird on your machine, start testing it and share your experience.'

I checked, and local police does not even have a public email address ! It is possible to register online, use a contact form ... but not that. Alternatives ... (Somewhere in Europe) ?

I can hardly send soneone who is close to me an email 'Hi, by now I have died. Please get someone to pick up the corpse'.

 

[creationisdeath]

@crova
'
I plan to send delayed email to my local coppers. I will set Thunderbird to send a couple of emails to be sure they don't ignore it.
So install Thunderbird on your machine, start testing it and share your experience.'

I checked, and local police does not even have a public email address ! It is possible to register online, use a contact form ... but not that. Alternatives ... (Somewhere in Europe) ?

I can hardly send soneone who is close to me an email 'Hi, by now I have died. Please get someone to pick up the corpse'.

If the cops don't even have a mail address you could use random companies. Someone will call the cops. Or ask the police for an email address beforehand for some unrelated matter like scratches on your car ("I have to send pictures") or something. Doesn't matter if they think you're crazy.

 

[Arak]

@creationisdeath , local situation: they won't won't give me an email address.