The future holds much uncertainty; beyond that, it holds much that is certain, but is negative.
Even if that ratio of certain negatives rises very high, what can we even do about it? We can do our best to meet them face on, but ultimately, we can't predict the future. And we definitely can't "opt out" of the future.
Now, people think opting out of the future IS possible, by trying to CTB. But that's not opting out of anything, really: you'll never experience the fact that you opted out. All you'll experience is yourself, well... Dying.
There will be no peace, because once you lose consciousness before ultimately passing away, that's it. There's no future point in time to look back on and say "oh, that was peaceful!", like when you think back about the times you've been asleep, or when you've been under anesthesia... Your only perspective on those things are based on events prior to losing consciousness, and after gaining it. But there was no peace, only a relative concept of peace applied to being unconscious once you woke up, in comparison to the before and after states.
When you die, there ceases to be any before and after states, because there is no memory. There is no brain function to "feel" any which way about anything...
You can't even say it feels like a sense of nothingness, because there is no you to say it was any sort of way at all... All you will feel is your last moments before feeling stops. Where is the peace in those moments??
It makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about the terror I've felt during failed attempts in the past, waking up from partial hanging screaming at the top of my lungs in sheer indescribable horror (with no memory of why I was there or what was going on), or waking up in agony and again, sheer indescribable horror from various other means.
I don't know why I always wake up in terror, other than somewhere deep in my brain, it was saying "Nooo!! Dear God NOOO, don't do that!!".
I think it's the sense of hopelessness in our world, the sense that things are getting worse and worse, no matter how shiny and nice things appear, our world is falling apart. I think we humans recognize that instinctually to some extent, and that's why our very SOULS cry out to just end things, because we are on the wrong path as a species, as the stewards of the planet we all live on.
But it's not all suicidally-minded people that want to end it all, necessarily (in some cases, sure, people have valid reasons to want to cease existing. I wouldn't take that from them. It's not my place to say anything about the validity of how another feels). They are crying out through their actions in the most drastic way possible, except...nobody is listening (except family, in good cases).
We already know what the governments of this world think of unhappy, suicidal people, and how they love treating them... If you aren't contributing to the benefit of the people at the very top, you are by definition beyond worthless, and not worth treating with dignity and respect. But they know if they just got rid of us, the rest of the people who DO maintain the system that benefits the top would revolt and things would fall apart super quickly. The governments don't actually care, though...
By and large, it's this WORLD, the power structures, the institutions, the expectations set from above... THOSE are the things driving us to want to end our lives. We want to end our lives as a protest to this broken system of incentives and punishments, the whole thing... We don't actually want to die. That's my belief.
I think the more hopelessness we feel, the closer to the edge it brings us, the more suicides that actually succeed, the more efforts
you see the world output to try to stop them from dying. But if they REALLY wanted to stop them from dying, they would hear out their reasons for why they feel that way, and would implement changes that make life better. But they've deemed anybody depressed, suicidal, or "mentally ill" as an embarrassment to society, when in fact, some of these people are the best and brightest out there, who see through the BS, but feel no hope at changing things.
I just wish instead of spending all of our energy attacking ourselves, we could find a way to spend it convincing those around us that STILL DO CARE about us, that the world is broken, and things need to change. Not to make them suicidal like we were (because trust me, most people are tired of the way things are), but as a bonding experience, where you become 2 people instead of 1 person, etc.
The people who are burdened the most by the way things are, and who see and feel the flaws deeper than anyone else, are the most prime candidates for those who should be spending their energy changing people's opinions on things, swaying the public, one person at a time.
I could tell you what I think should be done in the world. But that wouldn't fix the issue: people hurting and feeling hopeless. I just wanted to say with this whole, huge post, that I think the hopeless are the ones who actually can hold the most sway in pushing change, because they are the ones most authentically affected by the problems out there.
But yeah. Just wanted to say all of this. I may or may not CTB, because again, everyone's life is different, and we all have unique problems at various scales. I just wanted to get this message out all the same.
Hope this message I spent all this time writing out lights a spark in at least one person's heart. If it did, then light your own spark in other people's hearts, and keep the chain going.
Even if that ratio of certain negatives rises very high, what can we even do about it? We can do our best to meet them face on, but ultimately, we can't predict the future. And we definitely can't "opt out" of the future.
Now, people think opting out of the future IS possible, by trying to CTB. But that's not opting out of anything, really: you'll never experience the fact that you opted out. All you'll experience is yourself, well... Dying.
There will be no peace, because once you lose consciousness before ultimately passing away, that's it. There's no future point in time to look back on and say "oh, that was peaceful!", like when you think back about the times you've been asleep, or when you've been under anesthesia... Your only perspective on those things are based on events prior to losing consciousness, and after gaining it. But there was no peace, only a relative concept of peace applied to being unconscious once you woke up, in comparison to the before and after states.
When you die, there ceases to be any before and after states, because there is no memory. There is no brain function to "feel" any which way about anything...
You can't even say it feels like a sense of nothingness, because there is no you to say it was any sort of way at all... All you will feel is your last moments before feeling stops. Where is the peace in those moments??
It makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about the terror I've felt during failed attempts in the past, waking up from partial hanging screaming at the top of my lungs in sheer indescribable horror (with no memory of why I was there or what was going on), or waking up in agony and again, sheer indescribable horror from various other means.
I don't know why I always wake up in terror, other than somewhere deep in my brain, it was saying "Nooo!! Dear God NOOO, don't do that!!".
I think it's the sense of hopelessness in our world, the sense that things are getting worse and worse, no matter how shiny and nice things appear, our world is falling apart. I think we humans recognize that instinctually to some extent, and that's why our very SOULS cry out to just end things, because we are on the wrong path as a species, as the stewards of the planet we all live on.
But it's not all suicidally-minded people that want to end it all, necessarily (in some cases, sure, people have valid reasons to want to cease existing. I wouldn't take that from them. It's not my place to say anything about the validity of how another feels). They are crying out through their actions in the most drastic way possible, except...nobody is listening (except family, in good cases).
We already know what the governments of this world think of unhappy, suicidal people, and how they love treating them... If you aren't contributing to the benefit of the people at the very top, you are by definition beyond worthless, and not worth treating with dignity and respect. But they know if they just got rid of us, the rest of the people who DO maintain the system that benefits the top would revolt and things would fall apart super quickly. The governments don't actually care, though...
By and large, it's this WORLD, the power structures, the institutions, the expectations set from above... THOSE are the things driving us to want to end our lives. We want to end our lives as a protest to this broken system of incentives and punishments, the whole thing... We don't actually want to die. That's my belief.
I think the more hopelessness we feel, the closer to the edge it brings us, the more suicides that actually succeed, the more efforts
you see the world output to try to stop them from dying. But if they REALLY wanted to stop them from dying, they would hear out their reasons for why they feel that way, and would implement changes that make life better. But they've deemed anybody depressed, suicidal, or "mentally ill" as an embarrassment to society, when in fact, some of these people are the best and brightest out there, who see through the BS, but feel no hope at changing things.
I just wish instead of spending all of our energy attacking ourselves, we could find a way to spend it convincing those around us that STILL DO CARE about us, that the world is broken, and things need to change. Not to make them suicidal like we were (because trust me, most people are tired of the way things are), but as a bonding experience, where you become 2 people instead of 1 person, etc.
The people who are burdened the most by the way things are, and who see and feel the flaws deeper than anyone else, are the most prime candidates for those who should be spending their energy changing people's opinions on things, swaying the public, one person at a time.
I could tell you what I think should be done in the world. But that wouldn't fix the issue: people hurting and feeling hopeless. I just wanted to say with this whole, huge post, that I think the hopeless are the ones who actually can hold the most sway in pushing change, because they are the ones most authentically affected by the problems out there.
But yeah. Just wanted to say all of this. I may or may not CTB, because again, everyone's life is different, and we all have unique problems at various scales. I just wanted to get this message out all the same.
Hope this message I spent all this time writing out lights a spark in at least one person's heart. If it did, then light your own spark in other people's hearts, and keep the chain going.
