• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

hunterfla

hunterfla

Experienced
Sep 13, 2022
227
I've been putting off ctb for months (well, technically years but I digress) but I finally resolved that this month would be my last, for a myriad of reasons.

I have been asking the universe (not a believer in any god) to give me a sign of when my time was here, or if it deemed appropriate, give me a reason to live.

Well, I think I finally got my answer. I started feeling tired and run down recently, and I barely slept last night from coughing and congestion. This morning I woke up feverish in a pool of sweat and took a Covid test and it was positive. I just smelled my premixed SN drink, which always made me gag, but now I smell nothing. I feel like I've got the symptom of smell/taste loss and this would make downing the drink much easier.

It might be a leap or just coincidence, but I think my time has come.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Yay!
Reactions: ▪︎⚠ KOHI ⚠▪︎, TDF, figure8 and 5 others
Walilamdzii

Walilamdzii

Mage
Sep 19, 2021
585
I hope you find peace.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, freethinker and Praestat_Mori
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,051
I hope you find peace! Safe travels! Farewell!
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34 and freethinker
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,600
I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best wishes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34
D

deomlez

Not english native speaker. Ctb is my life.
May 19, 2023
339
God moves in mysterious ways (I'm atheist).

Have a nice journey. Tell us if it helps to avoid puke too.
 
  • Like
Reactions: locked*n*loaded and hunterfla
celest

celest

fallen
Jun 14, 2023
44
Not sure if it's god, but surely there is something. Not everything has to be a part of a big plan or a sign coming from the universe, but sometimes it is. Only time can tell which one of these yours is. Either way I like to think whatevers meant to happen ends up happening. I sincerely hope you find peace regardless of what path you choose.
 
  • Love
Reactions: hunterfla
TDF

TDF

Meh might as well die
Jun 24, 2023
474
Wow never would have thought, maybe should add that to the regime, "acquire covid 3 days before to make SN taste more bearable"

Thank you for sharing, it really made m chuckle, there should be a thread for cynical jokes and sarcasm
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: deomlez and hunterfla
hunterfla

hunterfla

Experienced
Sep 13, 2022
227
Wow never would have thought, maybe should add that to the regime, "acquire covid 3 days before to make SN taste more bearable"

Thank you for sharing, it really made m chuckle, there should be a thread for cynical jokes and sarcasm
I'll prob do a "goodbye thread" and might just add it onto this post so I can let you know how it goes.

On a side note, I notice many people who have seemingly ctb are now dark or have strikethrough on their usernames. Does anyone know (mods maybe) if this is something I should request or will it automatically happen once I stop posting?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: TDF
▪︎⚠ KOHI ⚠▪︎

▪︎⚠ KOHI ⚠▪︎

-10 points in life
Feb 27, 2023
53
I really wish you can finally find yourself resting peacefully.

It won't lie, if I had SN and lost smell and/or taste I think I would try as well to kms.

But that aside, sorry for the things you probably had to pass through that made you want to do it.
 

Similar threads

shocksites
Replies
11
Views
705
Recovery
nobodycaresaboutme
nobodycaresaboutme
toyu
Replies
0
Views
188
Suicide Discussion
toyu
toyu
shatteredspine
Replies
1
Views
234
Recovery
timf
T
yeaimhere13
Replies
0
Views
195
Suicide Discussion
yeaimhere13
yeaimhere13
S
Replies
0
Views
212
Suicide Discussion
Santana Idaho
S