Hello everyone, thank you for welcoming me to the forum.
I'll explain my situation right away, which I'm sorry to say is really dramatic.
Obviously without detracting from the adolescents and young people who write their torments here and ask for advice on how to die painlessly, I am certainly not going to judge the intensity of their pain, but I simply say immediately that in my case I carry the pain with me practically 35 years.
Yes, because I'm forty years old and in my life I've only spent five years peacefully, that is childhood and the miraculous year 2005. Then for the rest it was a continuous hell with very short breaks.
I'm already seeing with the Swiss dignitas for assisted suicide but since the forensic doctor who has to draw up the in-depth psychiatric report tells me that a very difficult path to complete, I'm starting to run out of time and I seriously have to pursue a backup road in the case this cannot be concluded.
My problems began in elementary school and then evolved into real obsessions that led me hopelessly to various hospitalizations during my adolescence until a final hospitalization in 2003 in the summer. Got out of there I thought my life was over. Miraculously, however, I still had a lot of strength at the age of twenty and with the pride of giving a better life to my parents and not accepting defeat, in addition to the right pharmacological treatment, in 2005 there was a real resurrection.
Unfortunately from then on, for a whole series of reasons, either my mistakes, business problems, my mother's death in 2014 and many other things, the situation got worse and worse.
Now I find myself completely alone with my father who is eighty years old and therefore won't have much time yet, with friends who by now have their own life, without a job, with having lost 2/3 of my properties due to mistakes, scams, cheaters and many other things, and above all without more energy and desire to go on. The drugs have now all been tried in all possible combinations, the psychiatrist who followed me told me clearly that there are no new drugs psychiatric medical science has not evolved in this aspect in the last twenty years unlike other medical sciences , therefore I am going ahead with only a basic cure and I have rather turned to the forensic psychiatrist as mentioned to start the procedure in Switzerland.
I repeat I know for sure that in Switzerland they have allowed assisted suicide to a girl from Naples who was about twenty years old, depression, but she still had a family and objectively although she was in a terrible state of years she was 20 she was not 40.
So I wonder why obviously when my father is gone, they shouldn't concede to me that I'm full of obsessions and depressions so I continue to feel bad every day, with little money, no job, and above all no more prospects of going on after having them try practically all and more, the possibility of ending this half life here.
However the possibility that for some strange reason they want to force me to live by surviving because survival would be talked about at that point for an indefinite number of years and for no more reason, literally dragging myself along in this hell even with a job that would allow me a basic subsistence, the possibility that they reject my question as absurd as it is and therefore, as mentioned, I have to look for alternatives.
Now the best alternative would be for me to have a heart attack when my father dies, so called heartbreak, which happens to some, but I don't know why I have an inkling that I won't be so lucky.
Alternatives are those of brutal suicide which, however, I have always feared because in addition to the pain there is the risk of being injured and that the suicide will not end, therefore remaining even worse than now.
I therefore read on the Internet that various users on this forum have been helped to end their earthly existence painlessly with a sodium nitrite preparation. I would therefore like to have detailed and precise information on how to use this method if things get really bad and the alternative of Switzerland is not possible because honestly after decades of suffering and things that have gone wrong, not only do I no longer have the strength this time but once my father dies I won't even have the motivation to go on. What am I going to do dragging myself for an indefinite number of years without a purpose in a sea of suffering? At this point the reason ceases unlike twenty years ago where I had found the strength because my parents were still there. In this case, once my father dies, there will be no one left, so I will find myself in much more difficult economic conditions than before, even if not yet desperate, but that is not so much the point, the point is that I will be completely alone and without any goals in the life, plus a sea of suffering due to obsessions and depressions. So at this point it is logic itself that says that it is better to close the curtain.
Thank you all.
I'll explain my situation right away, which I'm sorry to say is really dramatic.
Obviously without detracting from the adolescents and young people who write their torments here and ask for advice on how to die painlessly, I am certainly not going to judge the intensity of their pain, but I simply say immediately that in my case I carry the pain with me practically 35 years.
Yes, because I'm forty years old and in my life I've only spent five years peacefully, that is childhood and the miraculous year 2005. Then for the rest it was a continuous hell with very short breaks.
I'm already seeing with the Swiss dignitas for assisted suicide but since the forensic doctor who has to draw up the in-depth psychiatric report tells me that a very difficult path to complete, I'm starting to run out of time and I seriously have to pursue a backup road in the case this cannot be concluded.
My problems began in elementary school and then evolved into real obsessions that led me hopelessly to various hospitalizations during my adolescence until a final hospitalization in 2003 in the summer. Got out of there I thought my life was over. Miraculously, however, I still had a lot of strength at the age of twenty and with the pride of giving a better life to my parents and not accepting defeat, in addition to the right pharmacological treatment, in 2005 there was a real resurrection.
Unfortunately from then on, for a whole series of reasons, either my mistakes, business problems, my mother's death in 2014 and many other things, the situation got worse and worse.
Now I find myself completely alone with my father who is eighty years old and therefore won't have much time yet, with friends who by now have their own life, without a job, with having lost 2/3 of my properties due to mistakes, scams, cheaters and many other things, and above all without more energy and desire to go on. The drugs have now all been tried in all possible combinations, the psychiatrist who followed me told me clearly that there are no new drugs psychiatric medical science has not evolved in this aspect in the last twenty years unlike other medical sciences , therefore I am going ahead with only a basic cure and I have rather turned to the forensic psychiatrist as mentioned to start the procedure in Switzerland.
I repeat I know for sure that in Switzerland they have allowed assisted suicide to a girl from Naples who was about twenty years old, depression, but she still had a family and objectively although she was in a terrible state of years she was 20 she was not 40.
So I wonder why obviously when my father is gone, they shouldn't concede to me that I'm full of obsessions and depressions so I continue to feel bad every day, with little money, no job, and above all no more prospects of going on after having them try practically all and more, the possibility of ending this half life here.
However the possibility that for some strange reason they want to force me to live by surviving because survival would be talked about at that point for an indefinite number of years and for no more reason, literally dragging myself along in this hell even with a job that would allow me a basic subsistence, the possibility that they reject my question as absurd as it is and therefore, as mentioned, I have to look for alternatives.
Now the best alternative would be for me to have a heart attack when my father dies, so called heartbreak, which happens to some, but I don't know why I have an inkling that I won't be so lucky.
Alternatives are those of brutal suicide which, however, I have always feared because in addition to the pain there is the risk of being injured and that the suicide will not end, therefore remaining even worse than now.
I therefore read on the Internet that various users on this forum have been helped to end their earthly existence painlessly with a sodium nitrite preparation. I would therefore like to have detailed and precise information on how to use this method if things get really bad and the alternative of Switzerland is not possible because honestly after decades of suffering and things that have gone wrong, not only do I no longer have the strength this time but once my father dies I won't even have the motivation to go on. What am I going to do dragging myself for an indefinite number of years without a purpose in a sea of suffering? At this point the reason ceases unlike twenty years ago where I had found the strength because my parents were still there. In this case, once my father dies, there will be no one left, so I will find myself in much more difficult economic conditions than before, even if not yet desperate, but that is not so much the point, the point is that I will be completely alone and without any goals in the life, plus a sea of suffering due to obsessions and depressions. So at this point it is logic itself that says that it is better to close the curtain.
Thank you all.
