Chronic embarrassment 18F

[idoticbrainstorming]

Now adays all I ever feel is embarrassed or angry or numb. It exhausting. I want to kill my self every time I feel embarrassed. I can't deal with it. I want to die everytime anything goes even slightly out of plan. I want to stop talking to people. It's so exhausting. I mean it's the college holidays and tomorrow is the last day Ive got planned to see my friends. After than I'm going to cut off stop responding online to everyone who I'm not planned to see during the holidays and just spend as much time alone as possible. That way there's so much less embarrassment and maybe I'll feel better mentally without that constant embarrassment.

 

[RolltheDie]

I know what you mean by wnating to kill yourself everytime you're embarassed. I get the feeling every time I think of an embarassing thing that I have done as well. Something inside me tells me that cutting everyone off isn't the right move but I want to do the same thing.

 

[Trismegistus_13]

One of the worst parts of being g a teenager is the embarrassment you feel during that time. It really, really sucks, and I'm sorry it's affecting you so much. Fwiw it doesn't last.

Do you have a friend you don't feel embarrassed around you could stay in contact with over the holidays? Even just to check up with sometimes. I totally get needing alone time, but completely cutting everyone off tends to not be a great thing for our mental health. My therapist doesn't like when I suggest it to her haha

 

[Cress]

You listed multiple emotions of embarrassed angry And numb Sounds like you're flooded with the excess of emotions that are hard to identify and control. 18 is very young there's still a lot of time for you to improve and for things to get better I promise. Is there anyone in your life that you can talk to about how you're feeling friends or family? One of the best things you can do would be to identify the emotions you're feeling and figure out a way to control them.

If you don't have anyone in your life to talk to therapy wouldn't be a bad idea. One of the main purpose they serve is to help socialize people who maybe didn't adapt or feel comfortable enough to be around people in high school.

I have a story to share probably won't be relevant but I thought I would share it. When I was a younger kid around your age I had the stupid idea that I wanted to be able to get angry whenever I wanted. I thought anger came with a bunch of beneficial stuff like additional strength and additional power it's a bit stupid but it's what I went with at the time. I spent a lot of time immersing myself in anger and then withdrawing. Ironically after working on it for a long time I found that I couldn't feel anger unless I wanted to. Anger ended up being one of my most well controlled emotions.