Story Choosing to survive

[Stinger4771]

I wanted to die. I spent last week beating myself up, treating my mind and body like shit because I didn't want to live. I wanted to feel shit so I could kill myself.

I'm putting and end to it. I'm going to get up and make my bed tomorrow. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to make myself food I can enjoy.

I don't know what I'm living for anymore, but I won't be living for anything when suicide is an option lingering in the back of my mind. Shut happens, but what's done is done. I'm choosing to survive.

 

[nozomu]

Best of luck to you... I got to this point then life handed me more shit so I'm stuck at this crossroads between ctb and recovery:/

 

[HighFlight]

The choice between life and death can be difficult, especially when you are in pain or suffering. I am glad you choose to give life a try, and wish you the very best.

 

[carac]

As I replied yesterday to a post with a quote from shawshank "get busy living or get busy dying"

 

[Daft-Bear]

Good for you, i wish you the best of luck. Life can be great with the right mindset :)

 

[Stinger4771]

Update: I made my bed, baked some bread, and went out for a long walk. Looking after yourself is rewarding in it's own regard. I'm still sad about my circumstances, but I want to live again tomorrow.

The song parabol / parabola by Tool comes to mind.

Recognise this as a holy gift and
Celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing

 

[Daft-Bear]

Update: I made my bed, baked some bread, and went out for a long walk. Looking after yourself is rewarding in it's own regard. I'm still sad about my circumstances, but I want to live again tomorrow.

The song parabol / parabola by Tool comes to mind.

You got this

 

[Duality]

It's completely ok to want to live and also have feelings of suicidality at the same time. You should definitely go enjoy life some more! Hopefully the good weather holds up where you are, it does make a huge difference going outside after being holed up inside for a long time.

 

[turkishsweet]

Best of luck to you... I got to this point then life handed me more shit so I'm stuck at this crossroads between ctb and recovery:/

Choose life each time. No exceptions.
You've got this. You're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days. But think outside the box. Do things for the hell of it. Join a random class. Go out for an exercise. Have a picnic. Do whatever you can to maintain life. I'm glad you're here.

 

[lamentos]

That is beautiful to see. Go out for a walk, do it again tomorrow, make it a routine. Or don't, you know what's best for you!

 

[Stinger4771]

I have rediscovered that cycling is fun! Looking to join groups in my area to cycle with...

When I signed up on this forum I wasn't prepared for people to actually be supportive These words really help, more, I think, than they would coming from anywhere else. Thank you guys.

 

[lamentos]

I have rediscovered that cycling is fun! Looking to join groups in my area to cycle with...

When I signed up on this forum I wasn't prepared for people to actually be supportive These words really help, more, I think, than they would coming from anywhere else. Thank you guys.

People only think this forum is to encourage people to suicide. I'm someone coming from Tantacrul's video and that was not very hard for me to understand the philosophy behind this forum. :D