Discussion check in. how are you today?

[N33dT0D13]

Embarrassed. Which is making my mood and thoughts spiral again. I hate falling in love (platonically) with friends then overanalyzing literally every single fucking thing they do and finding ways to break my own heart over it. I really really hate myself.

 

[mishaa]

I am in the lowest place of my life. I am in so much pain. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to say goodbye to the people I love. I have so much pain. I feel so sick. I can't stop crying. I need it to end.

 

[loslassen]

If you scrolled this far to read people's replies, sonder. my heart goes to all of you, and it pains me yet wonders me recognizing there is so much more to you than text on a screen, all of you, are sentient beings i wish I could gather in a room and give hugs to, you all deserve it, you've lived so much and gone through so much, you deserve, truly deserve, no matter how useless or purposeless you might feel, you deserve to feel good, calm, happy, my heart goes to you, and wether it means something or not, I pray that you all will be okay.

 

[CatLvr]

Well, I guess my insomnia is back. It's fine, I suppose. My old man cat wants me to put my phone down and pay attention to him, so I will. He's such a grumpy old fella but I adore him.

I hope everyone who posts after me today has a good day. It is hard to convince the brain cells that are so flooded with bad experiences and feelings that there is good in the world. I know because I have to really fight hard to find a good anything most of the time. But it's worth the effort.

Take 10 minutes to find something that gives your soul a little peace -- sometimes for me it's the fact that I managed to get clean sheets on the bed and get it made. Sometimes it's just sitting and watching the grass grow. I guess grumpy cat here is gonna be my 10 minutes this morning. Peace be with you all.

 

[Trav1989]

I am in the lowest place of my life. I am in so much pain. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to say goodbye to the people I love. I have so much pain. I feel so sick. I can't stop crying. I need it to end.

Same here, a lot of negatives in my life and very few positives. Emotional trouble, financial trouble, legal trouble... add relationship trouble and you have a cocktail of despair. I'm honestly at the point that I could throw a party when my SN arrives but I don't have any friends or family that would show up to it.

 

[Gstreater]

I'm still alive, and I feel like I need to just get it over with and die.

 

[untothedepths]

pretending everything is okay with me


when its not

 

[amaterasu :-)]

 

[zxcvb]

That I'm a total failure

 

[ihateearth]

I may have found my method to leave. I also have a way to get it. I feel excited and kinda happy. It seems painless and so simple. Drinking Visine. I have to plan it well and investigate further, but the thought of leaving makes me happy.

I know when some die it's like a light switches off and that's the end. Some near death experiences are hallucinations or related to those people being religious. I just want the world as I see and experience it to end finally. Take me to a beach or a place with love or the darkness of nonexistence

 

[rozeske]

I feel worse. Just when you think you couldn't feel any worse, surprise surprise, you will. My exit feels so near and yet so out of reach. I am as desperate as I've ever felt.

 

[badK9wolf]

I just want to fix things but they keep getting worse. I don't know how much more of this I can handle.

 

[locust]

hi op : )

maybe having the means to ctb changes a bit of the urgency of needing to do so... you can do it anytime, so why not wait another day to see what will happen... at least that's my guess as to why maybe you have been holding on. in any case, i do really hope that during one of those days, things turn around for you for the better.

i dont have sn or any means to ctb that i trust but i have been reckless with my life and safety in the past few weeks. i have been struggling to not feel so lonely. but reading others' replies to this helps somewhat.

thank you for posting this. hope things get better

 

[CantDoIt]

Feeling bad as usual, fantasizing about ctb but not being able to commit bc I don't have the method I want or a solid plan.

 

[loslassen]

View attachment 150164

you're so real

hi op : )

maybe having the means to ctb changes a bit of the urgency of needing to do so... you can do it anytime, so why not wait another day to see what will happen... at least that's my guess as to why maybe you have been holding on. in any case, i do really hope that during one of those days, things turn around for you for the better.

i dont have sn or any means to ctb that i trust but i have been reckless with my life and safety in the past few weeks. i have been struggling to not feel so lonely. but reading others' replies to this helps somewhat.

thank you for posting this. hope things get better

thank you for caring and interacting with me, of course this post is only for people to drop by and let it out (<3) but this means a lot so thank you. I think it kind of does, I've been trying to be much more positive as of recently but it's a constant battle with the dualism of my feelings as I do have access to two methods like I mentioned, I've even been alone for many hours throughout my day so I could seriously get it over with, but the important people in my life have been a priority for me now and I feel like there might be hope for things to change, even when the realism of things is really contradicting,, I hope the feeling of loneliness subsides eventually, at least in an immediate way that can help you cope, in my recommendation, maybe try just going out, getting out from home helps you get out of your head more than you think. same as well, I hope things get better for you too <3

 

[cantThinkOfName]

Same as ever. People are either dumb or horrible but yet I have to sit and wait for those people to give me permission to get treatment that I needed like 10 years ago. And even then, it's too late now.