Catastrophizing Anxiety

[7BLue7]

Does anyone else struggle with this? I fixate over every minor detail, things that often aren't in my control and spend days fearing worst case scenarios about it.
I start behaving self destructively on the days leading up to what I'm fearing, I cant break my bad habits because every time I am anxious I just go back to them. And the anxiety is intense, it makes me physically unwell to the point where I have to treat my body as if it is genuinely sick. All of this, only to realise that everything was going to be ok. I was worrying about nothing like always. And now I've set myself back for absolutely no reason, and I am left feeling physically and mentally horrible.

I try to face problems as they arise. But on the other hand, I don't want to allow myself to be happy incase something horrible actually does happen. I just want to be genuinely happy and stop worrying all the time. But I can't do that unless I'm perfect and make absolutely no mistakes, or else I will just keep worrying about "what if".

 

[Afterglow]

i fully understand and sympathize with you. Especially when doing projects at work, I really feel you on feeling actually sick.

i hope you find the security needed to be happy.

everyone deserves that.

 

[nails]

Does anyone else struggle with this? I fixate over every minor detail, things that often aren't in my control and spend days fearing worst case scenarios about it.
I start behaving self destructively on the days leading up to what I'm fearing, I cant break my bad habits because every time I am anxious I just go back to them. And the anxiety is intense, it makes me physically unwell to the point where I have to treat my body as if it is genuinely sick. All of this, only to realise that everything was going to be ok. I was worrying about nothing like always. And now I've set myself back for absolutely no reason, and I am left feeling physically and mentally horrible.

i definitely relate, i understand how frustrating anxiety and perfectionism can be.

I try to face problems as they arise. But on the other hand, I don't want to allow myself to be happy incase something horrible actually does happen. I just want to be genuinely happy and stop worrying all the time. But I can't do that unless I'm perfect and make absolutely no mistakes, or else I will just keep worrying about "what if".

when it comes to this, there's really no way to ease into improving the issue. as pessimistic as it may sound, hoping for the worst is what helped me. not simply expecting the worst (well, that's what we've been doing), but actively hoping for it.
there's really no way to get rid of the anxiety. no matter what, you're going to expect the worst, but you can somewhat tweak the way it affects you. actively dreading an undetermined outcome, snowballing, telling yourself every horrible thing that will occur after the first horrible event... it'll make every outcome, even the positive ones, kinda shitty. it'll ruin your performance in whatever your doing, and it'll cheapen any positive feelings you can get, it'll halt you from trying to do a lot of things, etc.
like i said, i still only expect the worst—i can't help it, none of us can. nowadays, i sorta challenge(?) those horrible outcomes. i take out the "what if" so i can expect and then challenge that fear.
for example, i started training for a job recently. the whole time, i reminded, and kinda affirmed, myself that i was going to be anxious, i was going to fumble everything, i was going to be confused and get everything wrong, and they'd probably fire me before i even began... so what, if it happens, it happens. bring it tf on i ended up being anxious for the first half of it, but everything else went smoothly. of course, sometimes all of those horrible things might come true, but the feeling won't be as detrimental.

i really hate the "just change your mindset" advice. i've received that sort of advice for all of my issues and this is the only time it has ever been effective for me. i still feel horribly anxious about everything, but i'm significantly more productive and i feel a little better about my anxiety. i think meds are the only way to help the anxiety itself. it might not work for you.

hope for what you dread the most, consume what you fear most and become fear itself, some shit like that idk

i'm in a rush right now so i apologize if i don't make much sense, please ask me to elaborate if you need me to. i'm sorry you're having such a hard time, feel free to reach out if you need anything.