Ugh god I'm sorry you had to experience that, car crashes are fucking terrifying. I'm really glad you're okay even though I know you wish it would've just killed you; I felt the exact same way. I'll give you mine that might help you feel less alone lol.
So, I used to work overnight shifts a few years back (approx 10PM-6AM), and one night after not being able to sleep (struggled with insomnia at this time in my life as well), I was feeling really ill and drained, and despite downing coffee AND Celsius (sort of energy drink), I just couldn't handle being at work any longer. I told them I needed to go home early and they obliged, so I left at maybe 3-4AMish.
I got maybe 4/5ths of the way home before I apparently blacked out behind the wheel? And I ended up ROLLING my car across the median into the other side of the street, and woke up in the battered wreckage. It was still early AF in the morning, dark, and in a desolate-ish spot, so thankfully no one else was hurt or involved at all. I was disoriented as hell and crawled out of the wreck and stumbled into some random hotel a little ways away to let someone know what happened.
I felt so fucking dumb about it, and I was pissed off that I didn't die honestly. When I sent photos of my car to my friends all of them were like... incredulous I got out alive. The windshield alone looked like it was trash-compacted LOL. It was horrifying though... there's no feeling of helplessness more intense than waking up to being tossed like fucking salad in the darkness and having to just give in cuz there's nothing you can do except wait for it to be over and see if you make it. Eugh.
I hope you will recover as best you can, whether physically and/or mentally. I'm sure your parents are just glad you're still alive really rather than worrying too much about the insurance.
Best wishes.
