goddaydog

goddaydog

I wanna see your insides
Apr 15, 2023
15
Just a quick vent as I can't put my thoughts into words that well.
Recently I have been thinking about dying a lot. Always been a fan of true crime and I've always been watching suicide videos or school shooting cases and it's been ringing a bell. I feel like I need to die. I don't wanna disappoint my parents though or my boyfriend and the only 2 friends that I got. I hate my college friends, I hate part of my family. I've been solving a few things with my psychiatrist and psychologist but even if life is starting to get better I still feel rather hopeless. i wish things would get better so i don't have to die. May sound dumb but the only things keeping me alive right now is the feeling of guilt that if I kill myself people are going to be disappointed, my cat because I don't want to leave her alone, and my special interests. The only things that keep me company atm is my 3 plushies of my favorite characters and it's kind of sad to say that out loud haha. i've done so many bad things, hurting people's feelings and such, I do feel like I should die because of it, but I can't bring myself to do it just yet…
 
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