Help Can't Stop Doing Nothing

[KafkaF]

I don't think I want to live anymore, tbh. But more and more I feel like I can't kill myself. Not yet, anyway.

That being said, what's my alternative? My depression is just so bad. I can't motivate myself to take charge of my life and improve it.

I want to become a professional writer but I can't even motivate myself to write. I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents. If I'm not going to kill myself I should be using this opportunity and all this free time to realize my dream.

But I can't do it. I just waste most of my days away scrolling Reddit. And I don't even enjoy it.

I'm not even using all of this free time to have fun. You'd think if I can't do anything productive I'd at least be having fun with my free time. But no. I just keep doing fucking nothing. Just vegetating.

I'm so fucking sick of it. But I don't know how to stop. I just can't motivate myself to do almost anything.

 

[Wake]

well motivating yourself can be exhausting you might need an external factor someone/something to push you just not in a direct way. have you tried talking about your problems with a friend?

 

[undesirednlazy]

this is so relatable in everysingle way, ive got responsibilities to uphold and i dont but im still constantly stressed, reddit is the only "place" i have an identity i ever so slightly enjoy but its reddit lol

i wish i was some sort of community activist or organizer, and i do feel its possible, but i cant even motivate myself to do my homework lmao

the only reason im still around is because im unable to attain my method, but i would leap straight to it if i had it.

 

[uselessman]

I understand how you feel. I have been this way for years. My wife was doing her best to take care of everything but it didn't help. Now she has left me and I literally have no one I feel I can talk to.

I don't know if these things can help you, but what I am trying now is 2 things.

First, I got a rescue dog. I wanted to have someone to reciprocate my love. I also wanted something to keep me busy. This is the first dog I have ever owned (i am 55) I personally felt that a dog deserved more than just lying around at home so I never got one. Now, I need something to force me to get up in the morning, to go outside get fresh air and sunlight and some exercise. I also purposefully chose a dog that is needs training and I am learning on YouTube. There are some breeds of dogs that really never want to leave your side. Literally a best friend forever.

Second, I started online therapy. Initially it was to be couple therapy but my wife declined. I have only had a couple sessions, but my therapist at least shows me some compassion.

I am still looking for other ways. I saw a friend app called Bumble BFF which I installed but there aren't many people on it in my area.

I hope you find what you need. I'd be happy to talk more if you like.

 

[real human being]

I don't think I want to live anymore, tbh. But more and more I feel like I can't kill myself. Not yet, anyway.

That being said, what's my alternative? My depression is just so bad. I can't motivate myself to take charge of my life and improve it.

I want to become a professional writer but I can't even motivate myself to write. I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents. If I'm not going to kill myself I should be using this opportunity and all this free time to realize my dream.

But I can't do it. I just waste most of my days away scrolling Reddit. And I don't even enjoy it.

I'm not even using all of this free time to have fun. You'd think if I can't do anything productive I'd at least be having fun with my free time. But no. I just keep doing fucking nothing. Just vegetating.

I'm so fucking sick of it. But I don't know how to stop. I just can't motivate myself to do almost anything.

You sound exactly like me. One thing that helps is exercise. I know you might be frustrated at hearing basic advice like that but it is geniunely more powerful than any pill you can take or almost any other intervention. It doesn't have to be hard, just start walking 15 minutes a day, then 30, and so on. Walking also has the benefit of being semi meditative, giving your psyche time to sort itself out. If you don't like walking you can run, cycle, do some sort of strength training either with bodyweight or in a gym, or join some club. Sorting sleep and diet is also very helpful. Also my dms are open though I'm not on this site a lot.

 

[Unsure and alone]

I don't know.
I just don't know.
I came from the suicide section because I need to know how to just make it through a little bit longer.

It's a battle to get up and take care of my pets.
They deserve better than a struggling me .
Yet they love me anyway.
And that's amazing and beautiful .

It's a battle to force myself to take my meds when I'm feeling so damn low.
But I know it helps so I keep trying even when I've screwed up .
I try again with the next dose.

It's a battle some days to just want to go to the bathroom.
But I'm definitely not okay with the humiliation and mess of not going . so I do it anyway.


It's a battle to try and get through whatever task is going to do the most damage or be too late the soonest.
That I fail it almost always until it's done or just too late now.

It's a battle sometimes to try and show up for others.
But I am always still trying to do that.
Reminds me of a poem called that's her by Georgiou music .

Note given this is the recovery section.
That poem does deal with suicide.
It deals with talking about someone who will never ask for help but is always there if you're talking suicide.
I personally find it overall more positive.
I'm just trying to make an attempt at providing a trigger warning.
It's your choice if you want to look at the poem or not.

I want to die so badly.
But yet I still wish I could recover .
That life could change enough to give me a chance to survive.
So I'm walking down both those lines .
And I wonder will it already be too late once the main ingredient for CTB arrives ?

I seriously hope it passes the test.

It's somehow easier to do stuff that's self destructive.

At least at times it is.


Is it any wonder they hate me for being a useless burden ?

 

[Mirrory Me]

I also try to motivate myself to do creative chores during the day. What has helped me with my lack of energy is that I have started drinking black tea and cocoa instead of coffee. They are much healthier and powerful together.

Black Tea Benefits: 10 Reasons It’s More Amazing Than You Knew

More than just a moment’s rest or a morning routine to kickstart your day, black tea comes with loads of health benefits. While some health-conscious sippers may think they need to steer clear of caffeinated teas in favor of herbal teas, studies have shown that black tea has just as many health...

www.myteadrop.com

10 Health Benefits of Cacao

It tastes delightful, and it even makes us happy. But did you know that cacao has a wide range of health benefits, too? Here are 10 ways cacao can improve your health.

toakchocolate.com

 

[Vesiira]

I don't think I want to live anymore, tbh. But more and more I feel like I can't kill myself. Not yet, anyway.

That being said, what's my alternative? My depression is just so bad. I can't motivate myself to take charge of my life and improve it.

I want to become a professional writer but I can't even motivate myself to write. I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents. If I'm not going to kill myself I should be using this opportunity and all this free time to realize my dream.

But I can't do it. I just waste most of my days away scrolling Reddit. And I don't even enjoy it.

I'm not even using all of this free time to have fun. You'd think if I can't do anything productive I'd at least be having fun with my free time. But no. I just keep doing fucking nothing. Just vegetating.

I'm so fucking sick of it. But I don't know how to stop. I just can't motivate myself to do almost anything.

I don't think I've ever read anything I relate to more. I'm also unemployed and living with my parents. My depression and overall health has plummeted in the last year or so. I am always either nauseous or full of anxiety. Can't get out of bed somedays. Always just scrolling through social media. Feeling like I don't have a purpose. You're not alone in how you feel at all, but I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

 

[a.fool]

I don't know.
I just don't know.
I came from the suicide section because I need to know how to just make it through a little bit longer.

It's a battle to get up and take care of my pets.
They deserve better than a struggling me .
Yet they love me anyway.
And that's amazing and beautiful .

It's a battle to force myself to take my meds when I'm feeling so damn low.
But I know it helps so I keep trying even when I've screwed up .
I try again with the next dose.

It's a battle some days to just want to go to the bathroom.
But I'm definitely not okay with the humiliation and mess of not going . so I do it anyway.


It's a battle to try and get through whatever task is going to do the most damage or be too late the soonest.
That I fail it almost always until it's done or just too late now.

It's a battle sometimes to try and show up for others.
But I am always still trying to do that.
Reminds me of a poem called that's her by Georgiou music .

Note given this is the recovery section.
That poem does deal with suicide.
It deals with talking about someone who will never ask for help but is always there if you're talking suicide.
I personally find it overall more positive.
I'm just trying to make an attempt at providing a trigger warning.
It's your choice if you want to look at the poem or not.

I want to die so badly.
But yet I still wish I could recover .
That life could change enough to give me a chance to survive.
So I'm walking down both those lines .
And I wonder will it already be too late once the main ingredient for CTB arrives ?

I seriously hope it passes the test.

It's somehow easier to do stuff that's self destructive.

At least at times it is.


Is it any wonder they hate me for being a useless burden ?

Know that you are not alone. We all are suffering.
I'm very proud of you that you are trying so hard and trying every single day and every single moment.
This too shall pass and you'll get better.
Have you tried meditation?

 

[Eudaimonic]

This is very relatable, I'm in the same boat, including wanting to write but being unable to motivate myself.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I don't think I want to live anymore, tbh. But more and more I feel like I can't kill myself. Not yet, anyway.

I get you, especially if you're young and in your "prime" years, or so people say.

That being said, what's my alternative? My depression is just so bad. I can't motivate myself to take charge of my life and improve it.

I want to become a professional writer but I can't even motivate myself to write. I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents. If I'm not going to kill myself I should be using this opportunity and all this free time to realize my dream.

It sounds like your depression is the most pressing obstacle to you at the moment, since you're experiencing it now. It's also one of the obstacles preventing you from reaching your dream of professional writing, and you might not be able to get to the writing if depression has you down. I don't know if you're looking for advice, but perhaps you could take a step back from figuring out your writing for now, and reframe your goal to focus on combating your depression instead? It does help you with your writing goals in the long run too, and is more manageable than forcing your way through your misery in order to churn out more words.

But I can't do it. I just waste most of my days away scrolling Reddit. And I don't even enjoy it.

I'm not even using all of this free time to have fun. You'd think if I can't do anything productive I'd at least be having fun with my free time. But no. I just keep doing fucking nothing. Just vegetating.

I'm so fucking sick of it. But I don't know how to stop. I just can't motivate myself to do almost anything.

As another poster said, since you have a creative side, finding chores or activities on the productive-side could make you feel better about yourself and get you in the motion of getting out of bed. Anecdotally, I've also found that watching YouTube videos of an ideal relaxing day, stuff like this, helped me get inspired to mimic them. If you can't do work, watching YouTube or doing some other thing on your phone instead of Reddit is a good way to start, because consuming content on your phone isn't all created equal. Short form content like Reddit tires your brain out more easily. Even slightly shifting your routine by being more choosey about the content you consume could help immensely.

 

[Unsure and alone]

Know that you are not alone. We all are suffering.
I'm very proud of you that you are trying so hard and trying every single day and every single moment.
This too shall pass and you'll get better.
Have you tried meditation?

I'm not so sure I'll get better.

Thanks I needed that reminder. It helps to know I'm not as alone as it feels .

Thanks for seeing and trying to reach the part of me still trying .
Thanks for caring about me .
Although I'm just a random stranger.

Mostly no I haven't.
I did a few guided meditations recently though .
Also tried to fall asleep to "music to comfort the dying. " That's actually the title of the video.
No words just certain frequencies to help you.

Those types of music actually might be a really good resource to check out .

They have different videos for a lot of different topics/ issues .

I find them free on YouTube .

 

[a.fool]

I'm not so sure I'll get better.

Thanks I needed that reminder. It helps to know I'm not as alone as it feels .

Thanks for seeing and trying to reach the part of me still trying .
Thanks for caring about me .
Although I'm just a random stranger.

Mostly no I haven't.
I did a few guided meditations recently though .
Also tried to fall asleep to "music to comfort the dying. " That's actually the title of the video.
No words just certain frequencies to help you.

Those types of music actually might be a really good resource to check out .

They have different videos for a lot of different topics/ issues .

I find them free on YouTube .

Glad that you are actually trying.
Guided meditation is good. You should try to do that twice a day everyday. It'll help.
I don't agree that you won't get better. I believe you'll get better if you keep pushing hard.
But I'm proud of you for trying.