Venting Can't stand working to the grave

[Another lost soul09]

Hello all. This is my first post so go easy on me. For the last few years I've been suicidal on and off. A lot of it comes from my family pressureing me to get my GED and get a "real job" I currently work at a fishery and for the last 8 months I was getting sick at least once a week. This was due to a gallbladder issue which I had removed. In the hospital I was actually pretty happy and enjoyed it. But now that everything is back to normal.(Outside of my stomach hurting from recovering.) I've become suicidal again. I just can't see myself doing any job where I'll actually be happy and give a shit. So now I'm looking towards just ending my life. I know it likely won't get much better and I'm tired of coming home everyday to be exhausted only to do chores around the house before bed. I just don't see a point to it anymore. Thanks for reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound tiring what you go through, I understand why you'd feel so tired of it all. But anyway I wish you all the best.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

I wish you the best. Work life balance is a myth that barely anyone can afford.

 

[Defenestration]

I understand, stopping working was a liberation... even if now I'm used to it and I don't think about it anymore and I want to die

 

[emptyenvelopes]

What are you thoughts on saving what you can and moving somewhere new? Sometimes a change of scenery doesn't fix everything but it makes life more interesting

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The only escape from suffering is to end existence.

 

[Defenestration]

Le seul moyen d'échapper à la souffrance est de mettre fin à l'existence.

Sad but i think also this

 

[Forever Sleep]

My sympathy to you. I had gallbladder trouble too. A stone in the bile duct eventually- horrendously painful. I hope you make a speedy recovery.

It sounds like you may have returned to work too quickly to my mind. Especially if your job is physical. I think it's ridiculous how quickly they predict we'll be patched up and ready to work again.

I know what you mean though. I'm fortunate enough to vaguely enjoy my job (it's creative.) It's also pretty physical though and very time consuming. I also feel kind of dumb to be slaving away working to support a life I don't even want to live! Logically looking at it, it seems ridiculous!

 

[Defenestration]

My sympathy to you. I had gallbladder trouble too. A stone in the bile duct eventually- horrendously painful. I hope you make a speedy recovery.

It sounds like you may have returned to work too quickly to my mind. Especially if your job is physical. I think it's ridiculous how quickly they predict we'll be patched up and ready to work again.

I know what you mean though. I'm fortunate enough to vaguely enjoy my job (it's creative.) It's also pretty physical though and very time consuming. I also feel kind of dumb to be slaving away working to support a life I don't even want to live! Logically looking at it, it seems ridiculous!

Work IS torture with sévère social anxiety

 

[Forever Sleep]

Work IS torture with sévère social anxiety

So true! I'm lucky enough to work alone now.

 

[Another lost soul09]

UPDATE. Asked to go home early again and probably going to lose my job. If I do I'll probably end this misery once and for all.

 

[tenshi天神]

The only escape from suffering is to end existence.

that's just blind pessimism lol. there are lots of things to try before ctb that have the potential to change one's life & make it worthwhile.

I hope you find peace with whatever you end up doing, OP. much love! <3

 

[Defenestration]

wait again, you're not sure you'll lose it

 

[endofline2010]

@Another lost soul09 it's fine to lie about having a GED. Very, very few jobs will ever check. Hell, you could probably lie about having a Bachelor's and get away with it in most cases. At worst, find an out-of-state GED online and do a little photoshop magic, and viola - you're a hs graduate.

 

[Defenestration]

MISE À JOUR. On m'a demandé de rentrer plus tôt à la maison et je vais probablement perdre mon emploi. Si je le fais, je mettrai probablement fin à cette misère une fois pour toutes.

Good luck i think of this.