Venting Can't Stand Having OCD

[ferret-in-a-sock]

Posting here, because God forbid you mention CTB anywhere else in regards to OCD.

I can't stand it. I really can't. I feel like a 1000 bad things are going to happen and I physically cannot manage to dress or eat or clean or do anything and I'm plagued by endless terrified thoughts. I know to some degree "these aren't real. Focus on here and now. You don't have control over what will or won't happen."

But I'm constantly out of touch. I blink and 3 hours have passed and I'm unable to think straight. I'm plagued and consumed by fear to the point it's so much easier to legitimately start to plan to CTB to escape it.

I know I'm not rational. I almost feel like I can barely form coherent sentences. It's so bad right now. I booked tickets to a movie but lost time to the point I didn't go see it. I had a work meeting and didn't...remember or was aware enough to go to it.

It just feels so hopeless. I constantly open and close apps, start tasks partially then immediately lose time. Even when I turned on a goddamn video game I couldn't even keep my head on enough to do a mission. Even writing this past has taken half an hour.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

This is my mental illness also and, along with trauma, which OCD magnifies, has ruined my life. I recommend trying SSRIs as they have HELPED me but not completely taken away the obsessions or the pain they caused. Very bizarre mindset and wastes a tremendous amount of your life and brainspace on literal bullshit you KNOW is bullshit but your subconscious just isn't having it. Apparently it has something to do with serotonin and the communication between your front and back brain.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry, this rly cruel make hard thing do v sry have rly cruel mntal illne