persepexa
Experienced
- Feb 7, 2025
- 289
So I am a 29 year old man and I think I've become afraid of the dark? Again.
I used to be scared of the dark as a child and slept with a lamp on every night.
Obviously like most children do I got over this.
Last month I left my supported accommodation which had 24/7 staff supervision, and I'm now renting a room in a house share. I'm living with strangers I haven't met and don't really plan to as I'm hoping to CTB soon.
However in the past few days I've found it really hard to sleep. And it's not due to worries or stress or anything because to be honest I have nothing going on. I think I'm actually just afraid to be here by myself in a dark room.
I keep picturing someone in the room with me, I keep thinking I hear noises and I keep imagining what would happen if someone or something was here.
This isn't sleep paralysis because I'm nowhere near asleep. Every time I try to sleep I find myself reaching for my phone to turn the flashlight on just to check I'm really alone.
The room is tiny and very cluttered so if someone was here there would be no hiding. The room is locked 24/7 because I lock it when I leave and I lock it when I'm in the room too. Also I spent the vast majority of the day in here because, if you've ready my previous posts, I have no job or social life that would give me a reason to leave it. The last room I lived in had blackout blinds so it was actually darker than my current room.
Every logical part of my brain knows I'm alone. I know there's no one here, there is no such thing as monsters, and even if someone were here I want to CTB anyway so they'd be doing me a favour.
It's 3am and I know as I'm here typing on my phone that the second I put it down I'll be scared again. What is going on with me?
I used to be scared of the dark as a child and slept with a lamp on every night.
Obviously like most children do I got over this.
Last month I left my supported accommodation which had 24/7 staff supervision, and I'm now renting a room in a house share. I'm living with strangers I haven't met and don't really plan to as I'm hoping to CTB soon.
However in the past few days I've found it really hard to sleep. And it's not due to worries or stress or anything because to be honest I have nothing going on. I think I'm actually just afraid to be here by myself in a dark room.
I keep picturing someone in the room with me, I keep thinking I hear noises and I keep imagining what would happen if someone or something was here.
This isn't sleep paralysis because I'm nowhere near asleep. Every time I try to sleep I find myself reaching for my phone to turn the flashlight on just to check I'm really alone.
The room is tiny and very cluttered so if someone was here there would be no hiding. The room is locked 24/7 because I lock it when I leave and I lock it when I'm in the room too. Also I spent the vast majority of the day in here because, if you've ready my previous posts, I have no job or social life that would give me a reason to leave it. The last room I lived in had blackout blinds so it was actually darker than my current room.
Every logical part of my brain knows I'm alone. I know there's no one here, there is no such thing as monsters, and even if someone were here I want to CTB anyway so they'd be doing me a favour.
It's 3am and I know as I'm here typing on my phone that the second I put it down I'll be scared again. What is going on with me?
