Can’t imagine living a life like this

[spectraltease]

I just can't live here in this society and myself. I've often thought about it and I always see people on the street who don't look like they have a good life and I think about how I could never get so old and not be dead yet. I just hate everything about life, just everything. But I think what I hate the most is myself. I just can't live here and couldn't imagine existed here until I'm old. I feel sick when I think about the fact that I would have to spend the rest of my life here.
I could literally puke rn, I feel so anxious just because I have to sleep.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings of wishing to be gone from this world are understandable. I've always had a very strong dislike for existing, and have never wanted to be here at all. I find it such a horrific thought, the thought of this life going on for many more decades. I don't want to imagine it.

The human life expectancy is far too long and I see reaching a very old age as being something so terrible, yet it's so normalised in this world. The option of suicide really is essential, I mean where is the benefit to enduring endless suffering until we die from some other cause. I would rather take control over my life and leave at a time of my own choosing. But at least in my case, even one second in this world is a second too long. Never existing at all is the best possible thing but unfortunately we had no choice but to come here into this world.