Venting Can't get myself to ctb

[SoulBroken]

I've been feeling extremely sad, horrible and miserable for a long time, and I really want to peacefully exit life.

I've looked into the exit bag method and I feel like it's the best one, after a quick search I can't find any place that sells the correct gas or amount needed to ctb.

But even if I did find and get the required supplies, I don't think I can go through with this, I just can't get myself to do it.
I really wish it was alot easier, I wish I could just press a button and disappear.

I'm suffering alot, my heart and soul are very broken and now I can't even get myself to ctb, I'm going to lose my mind.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that I could have the option to just disappear as well, I wish I could just erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all, I'm sorry you suffer so much in this cruel existence, it must be really dreadful and tiring what you go through but anyway best wishes.