Forthy414
Facing to give up
- Jul 2, 2024
- 7
i've self harmed before, i've slit my wrists before and it's the best coping mechanism, it makes me feel good, makes me feel like they actually worry about me for like 2 days at least, if they even care and not just insult but anyway...
my parents found out multiple times and i always swear on not doing it again, but the last time was like the worst episode i had, and they seemed genuinely worried for once, i dont really feel guilt for it, i dont even feel sympathy towards them, i dont know why i just, obey, i feel like things will get worse and they'll treat me like garbage if i do it, but i really feel the need to do it.
with that in mind, i'm not even scared to kms at this point, which is ironic considering my current fear for relapsing in self harm, like i'd rather throw myself while hanging then shooting myself and stab myself but i wouldn't cut myself no more, it's really weird, because i also feel the urge to SH, i just dont know if its interiorized guilt or something...
my parents found out multiple times and i always swear on not doing it again, but the last time was like the worst episode i had, and they seemed genuinely worried for once, i dont really feel guilt for it, i dont even feel sympathy towards them, i dont know why i just, obey, i feel like things will get worse and they'll treat me like garbage if i do it, but i really feel the need to do it.
with that in mind, i'm not even scared to kms at this point, which is ironic considering my current fear for relapsing in self harm, like i'd rather throw myself while hanging then shooting myself and stab myself but i wouldn't cut myself no more, it's really weird, because i also feel the urge to SH, i just dont know if its interiorized guilt or something...
