Can’t even get it done right

[kalashnikova]

I have been trying to hang myself for a good few weeks now and the suicidal ideations are getting so much worse. I tried partial suspension about 6 to 7 times today and 3 of my hanger hooks have snapped right off due to me trying to drop and so I just tried my closet and it worked pretty well, I started thrashing around about 2 to 4 minutes in. I just don't know why I can't get it done, I didn't think it would be this hard but it is. Once I start thrashing around and my hearing goes out, I literally just snap back and put myself out of it. I'm conscious through all of it and the minute I think I'm losing consciousness I just snap back. I don't know what to fucking do but each attempt is making me want to die even more and now I feel so fucking empty inside that it hurts, I really think I'm going to stick with blowing my head off at this point.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally find it so dreadful how it's so difficult to be permanently free from this existence, trying to die going wrong is what I personally fear, I wish there's the option to choose to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Could it be that the rope is constricting your trachea and restricting your breathing.

Love your username, btw. Looking to possibly buy a KP-9 if they ever get back in stock. Might as well have a little bit of fun before I go.

 

[fkyou]

What position are you in?