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VentingCan't commit suicide
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I like to remind myself of all the thousands, millions of innocent children suffering right now in constant pain and stress from their terminal disease or illness, and tell myself there wouldn't be a "God" to allow this. This must be the reality of suffering hell were already experiencing. Can it get worse?
Too me I find it grotesque that if there is a supposed God and if Hell does exist I hope I get annihilated sacrifice heaven and hell for the sake of non existence sure I like the idea of heaven but it seems nothing more than an idea for I am tired of being lied to or claimed to be crazy or delusional or it all must have been a dream for the terrible things that I've done and the terrible things that happened to me even by those who call me family and friend i attempted multiple suicide attempts but the people who helped saved me in a good way helped tortured me with lies or with resets taking away my memories with sodium Pentothal then giving me my memories back just to pretend that none of it all happened willful ignorance I hate the most fuck all hell I already experienced enough hell on earth sorry ironically I'm an atheist who would actually believe in a god if there was one or evidence fuck faith it hasn't done shit for me people probably wouldn't believe me anyways don't worry we'll die eventually some of us were strong enough to try and succeed while I tried and failed.
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